You Need to DETACH at Work

I'm a long time Sex and the City fan, and when I started developing this video I could think of no better examples than Carrie Bradshaw and Samantha Jones to demonstrate the profound effect of detachment at work. Detachment allows you to walk away from toxic jobs, bad job offer, and to be unbothered by the drama you can encounter at work.

Side note: I am still a Carrie stan, though my most recent rewatch, knowing what I do now about trauma, trauma recovery, and attachment, gave me a whole new perspective, and I think it has so many lessons we can apply to our lives and careers.

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Clips source: HBO
This video is intended to be educational and uses Sex and the City to provide commentary. Of course, that commentary is my opinion and my opinion alone. I'm a faithful watcher who has rewatched the series more times than I can count, and I admire each character and think they portray the different facets of our life.

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This description contains affiliate links. When you purchase an item using an affiliate, there is no cost to you, but a portion of the sale is paid as commission to me.

[anonanonymous]

Great video. I always loved Samantha's line to Richard after he cheats on her: "I love you, Richard, but I love me more."

[oliverw.douglas]

Jenn, I've worked in the Telecom Industry for over 27-years. I was once told, that if the folks here weren't employed by the Phone Company, they would either be incarcerated or institutionalized.... Criminal or Nuts. And that sums-up most of the folks I've crossed paths with in my career. A few gems in the rough, but mostly criminally crazy people, , who get off on wrecking other people's lives, either out of stupidity or vindictiveness.

Morals & ethics sadly do not enter into their train of thought. If I was younger, & had an equivalent job in terms of pay & benefits, I'd run far & run fast from this job.

Politics run front & center, with smoke & mirrors to cover their dirty little tracks. Try to do your job & give 110%, and they'll run you into the ground, because they don't understand the concept of work ethic or being invested in your job. Your good work makes them look bad. Accountability is a term they use in jokes, behind closed doors.

This is not my grandfather's Oldsmobile.

[kneeapolytan]

It isn’t talked about how attached people are actually difficult to manage. They are yes men and very agreeable, but need constant reassuring and hand-holding. This can be draining. When a decision needs to be made, they can’t be trusted.

[BeautifulDreamerK]

Great video, Jennifer. This is so true. My grandfather was sick earlier this year and we went to visit him to say our goodbyes. Something in me changed after that and couldn’t care about work. We said our goodbyes, spent time with family there, and I went out of my comfort zone and did outdoor adventure activities. After that, I did my work but stopped caring and did less. Sounds bad but doing less is doing more. Fast forward, I’ve gotten recognition from higher ups, my manager (who said I’ve been a badazz lately) and won an award within the department. The next project, he wants me to headline. Excited but trying to just keep it going with not caring so much. Life is so much more than stupid work anyway.

[citygirl]

Ugh this is so good! It’s so very sad I never looked so deeply into the characters. I rewatched in my 30’s and the only thing I did know was I couldn’t stand Carrie 🤮. I didn’t mind her when I was in my early 20’s, but rewatching it in late 30’s she was insufferable.

[julijakeit]

I wish I knew you 10 years ago but it's never too late to learn and I am grateful for all the information, especially how not to get drowned in the office drama but play the office politics as fairly as possible and to your own and your company's benefit.

[misspat]

I went back to a job I got fired from twice in the past, because I needed something compatible with having an elementary-school-aged child, management had changed, and my daughter had been receiving care there for a couple years, and I’d been invited back twice. I plan to work there for a few years and move on. The women there are not my friends. I am there for a paycheck while my daughter is still young, nothing more. Had to watch some “training videos” (on the clock, yes) that talked all about “being a family”. Spew. 🤢

[peppermintpeggy]

This is an AMAZING & very timely video!!! THANKS A MILLION!

[ikbelleib]

A agree Samantha is the best character

[story.]

I have been lucky enough to have psychotherapy be a benefit of salary package for the past 6 years, and this was precisely one of the things I worked on to GREAT effect. It is difficult, but necessary work, but you don’t necessarily need a psychotherapist to do it. I personally think that Gabor Maté’s books, particularly his Myth of Normal, and another book called Conflict is not Abuse by Sarah Schulman, have been instrumental in assisting me detach from work and build healthier boundaries.

[rbags]

I wish I watched these videos when I was younger ❤

[makeupandmusicgirl]

I’ve never seen sex and the city, but now I think I need to watch it. 😂

[DJM]

Enjoyed this, Jennifer.
Thank you for creating. ❤

[sanjanabhatia]

This is a really well done video. I’m going to aspire to be like Samantha. Thank you Jennifer! ❤

[erindunnill]

Perfect 👌✨. Thanks again Jennifer, and thanks for all the comments below. I too fit into the category of, “wish I had seen this video 10 years ago, ” but a detached/objective countenance will keep me from ruminating over what was lost and perhaps more empowered walking into my new found job!

[davidellis]

Hi Jennifer ! Excellent advice about office politics & establishing an excellent reputation, influence & relationships at work 👌. Good Luck in the marathon if you participate this lovely autumn 🍂 & Let's Go Yankees 🗽

[rpjgkwd]

How can you be detached, but still stay motivated at work?

[newtonmoon]

Detachment is actually a maladaptive coping method. I think that as adults we should take responsibility, and I am not sure if a recommendation to detach is very wise. Ignorance is not bliss. For children it's a different story, they often have no choice. One needs to bear in mind that movies and pseudo psychology specialist or motivational coaches often don't have profound knowledge and don't understand the bigger picture. Always look at the source with anything in life is what I've learned.

[CJandEllie]

Samantha is insecure too. She uses sexual exploits to prove herself. Carrie is neurotic without a moral code. Charlotte is legalistic. Mirand is a thinker who accepts herself but has moments of comparison. None of these women are what I want to be.

[avgirlaustintx]

Love this. This helps me as a landlord. Renters have repeatedly taken advantage of me and my kindness. This year I have drawn the line and it feels great. If you can't pay the rent, you can't live in my rental. I don't care who in your family died or what's going on in your life. I'm not your friend, I'm a landlord. I've been sick, injured, had deaths in the family and never used that as an excuse to not pay my bills.