High Masking Autistic Women - My Friend Autism #videopodcast #orionkelly

Hi! I'm Orion Kelly and I'm Autistic. Please enjoy this episode of my podcast 'My Friend Autism'. #orionkelly #autism #asd #autistic #podcast #autismsigns #whatautismfeelslike

🙏 Thanks so much for watching, rating, commenting, sharing and subscribing, I really appreciate it! You're helping me raise the level of understanding and acceptance of the Autistic community. You can show your support for my channel by doing any of these things:

1️⃣ SUBSCRIBE to my channel.
2️⃣ LIKE / COMMENT / SHARE my podcast videos.
3️⃣ SUBSCRIBE to my 'Orion Kelly - That Autistic Guy' channel.

📬 Business Postal Address (Sponsorship proposals, promotional considerations etc)
Orion Kelly Media,
PO Box 457,
Inverloch, VIC, Australia 3996

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

🔵 CHANNEL LINKS 🔵

🔵 CONNECT 🔵
TikTok: @orionkelly_australia

🎧 My Friend Autism' PODCAST 🎧

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ABOUT ORION:
Orion Kelly is an #ActuallyAutistic vlogger (YouTuber), podcaster, radio host, actor, keynote speaker and Autistic advocate based in Australia. Orion is all about helping you increase your understanding, acceptance and appreciation of Autistic people.

#AutisticVoices #ActuallyAutistic #Autistic #Autism #OrionKelly #ThatAutisticGuy #ASD

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

⛔️*Disclaimer: The videos (podcasts) contained on this channel are for general education and entertainment purposes only and do not constitute professional advice. For professional advice and training seek assistance from a qualified provider. All views are my own and do not represent those of my employers or sponsors. Some images used are stock images.*⛔️

Related: podcast, autism, autism diagnosis, Orion Kelly, orionkelly, thatautisticguy, tiktok videos, autistic, autism in adults, autism in women, autism in men, autism spectrum condition, asd, autism spectrum disorder, aspergers, aspergers syndrome, autism in boys, autism in girls, dsm, dsm5, autistic adults, autistic kids, autism mom, autism parent, autism family, autism speaks, autism awareness, autism acceptance, autism at work, am I autistic, adult autism test, autism disclosure, autism therapy, autism prevention, autism meltdown, autistic burnout, autistic behavior, autism symptoms, autism traits, autistic signs, what autism feels like, love on the spectrum, stimming, echolalia, anxiety

[mariaalejandrahongbeirute]

thank you for all of the information; the preassure is so great, and you have no idea how much greater it is on latin american women who HAVE TO BE motherly and perfect, specially in my generation (80's) you are a beacon of hope - and it's something I don't say often.... or at all

[mysoutherngardeningjourney]

I'd like to point any women watching this who are now wondering if they might be autistic, to Mom on the Spectrum's video about 16 female traits of autistic women. They are generally NOT ones you've heard, and that video was what got me going down a rabbit hole until I shocked myself with the realization that I am, indeed, neurodiverse. And suddenly, my life makes sense.

[QuirkyKerrie]

I used to be able to mask really well (I think) but as I get older I can’t. The mask crumbles super fast

[christineE]

Thank you for the work you do. It is so important. I think many high masking individuals go undetected for so long because they appear to others that they are managing well, but often meltdown internally rather than externally.

[marciomartineliD]

Thank you for this very informative podcast cast, I am just researching more about the topic after having a conversation with my daughter, who is a 19yo, late diagnosed high masking autism woman. It is very important we talk to the health system to improve in this area, as we just star to realize she was autistc after having a little on that is high need. Thank you again and keep the great work.

[anetamironska]

Thank you for this video and bringing awareness to this topic. I am on the years long waiting list for diagnosis and what I have been trying to do is to learn to unmask more. This is to keep me healthy and sane but the byproduct of it is that I learn my truth. So for instance when answering the questionnaire I can now differentiate between 'the expected masked answer' and ' my truthful ' answer

[EliasBrumbaugh]

I would definitely tie this into “early interventions” as well as traditional ways parents are taught to rear children according to gender norms. Those who are classed as female at birth, begin training how to be an appropriate and “good little girl” quite early. But my memories are that every time something was good or appropriate for girls, it felt wrong to do because it wasn’t my natural state. Therefore I was bad or wrong and needed to change. I have trouble knowing what is and isn’t my mask because I cultivated it for so long. My initial foray into my difference started in the lgbtqia arena for gender nonconformity and expression; and ended with a dual diagnosis of autism and adhd with cptsd and ptsd. But while growing up all my differences were blamed on being an only child and becoming deaf at age 8.

[Elodie_N_INTJ_Analyzes]

🥰 You are so fun. Every person is unique, every autistic person is unique.
Can we explain why I got 90% for Asperger's diagnosis, and less than 50% for the Autism diagnosis for girl ? 🤣
Maybe I could score higher in the diagnosis for boys. In my head I never felt like a girl or a boy, I am just a human, a soul, a consciousness.
Imagine if I had never asked for Asperger's diagnosis, today I maybe still depressed, frustrated and angry and suffering, seeking for Autism validation.

We need a better diagnosis, or to pass all the diagnoses Autism, Asperger, boy, girl... to the persons.
We need more specialists too, it was so painful and frustrating to find a psychologist who can do the diagnosis.
We need to educate humanity and give them the right knowledge about Autism, to all parents and schools. I don't want other children and people suffer as much as I did, feeling so "not in my place", "uncomfortable", trying to adapt, whereas we don't adapt, the society have to adapt to us.

You right, I wonder why my parents put much pressure on me to socialize than on my brother, it's not fair, and why they asked me to do more things than my brother (cooking, laundry, help my mother...)
With the Giftedness condition, I had the perfect mask to appears typical.

I always didn't care of social expectations and pressure of society, pressure doesn't exist for me, everyone should be themselves, and fit to themselves, and not stress to fit society. Fit to yourself and the universe, don't fit society.

[amandamandamands]

My inability to recognise what I am feeling (can recognise anger/frustration and now after years of therapy can recognise a sensation that is anxiety/overwhelmed) means that I got a personality disorder diagnosis with dysthymia (and at times major depression) and I never received an anxiety diagnosis even though when you see an infographic about the other ways that anxiety can present I tick every box but I don't present the 'typical' signs because I had to learn to supress them at such a young age.
Another thing is that the stereotype is that autistic people don't like to be touched, I am a big hugger (and bear hugs can be something that helps me to regulate) so people question my diagnosis just based on that.
When you are talking about stimming, you get told off enough that you are fidgeting you learn to either suppress it or to do really small things instead like I play with my jewellery and now have some fidget rings and bracelets so that I stop wrecking my jewellery.

[heatherjones]

I had told my doctor that I was retty sure I'm autistic. She (she's known me for years and is a friend) she said that she didn't think so, because I don't have outbursts. Two years later I was thinking about that conversation and realized she had just never seen my outbursts. I have gotten better at not freaking out, but I ended up doing things like rocking, swaying, and twirling my hair.

[michele]

I definitely agree that the social expectations for girls/women are a huge factor in how much pressure is put on girls as they are growing up to conform to social norms for women. We are supposed to be quiet, helpful, etc. and I was often punished as a kid for being too boisterous or “tomboy” and not gracious enough in my personal interactions. My brothers didn’t have the same expectations for their behaviors and got away with much more latitude in how they interacted with others.

[TheVOLTAGEVIDEOS]

ADHD and awaiting ASD testing. Female and 52 years old.
Bullied in school, moreso before I was put in the smart class in 8th grade. Had to sit by the teacher, too. Diagnosed with depression/anxiety at 19/20 years old. It's the only way I have survived. I think the depression and anxiety are possibly just effects of ADHD/ASD.
It IS potentially a matter of life and death. I just couldn't deal with life anymore. I consider myself lucky. Being happy was all I ever wanted when I was a teen. Heavy drinking to feel better out me through a lot, but got me to a counselor who said I should see a psychiatrist. It saved my life.
But it's potentially wrong diagnoses.
I always enjoy your podcasts and videos.

[Blondzrule]

I get soooo fed up of people telling me I can't be Autistic as I seem so " normal " excpet I can't make eyecontact and don't laugh or get jokes

[AmandaSeacrist]

Wow! This made me do some deep thinking. Even though I was early diagnosed, I did end up caught in what is called the "10 different doctors, 10 different diagnosis" ordeal throughout my childhood/teenhood. Coming from someone who already has been diagnosed, I still face challenges of being accepted and understood, but normally when I 'unmask' myself. It does feel icky feeling unauthentic. Also, my husband has the Autistic traits, yet we have had a hard time getting him an official diagnosis because of the quagmire of the healthcare system. Even though my spouse is male and this is emphasizing on women, a lot of what you've said and observations are legitimately accurate. For one, we definitely do need much better support and more specialists who seriously understand these dilemmas. Thanks again! 😊

[kellyschroeder]

As you go on and the flashes of memory come to mind it’s a big wow at how I just constantly was masking and maneuvering in order to be neurotypical aka “like others” …… what a struggle I’m finally learning to surrender at almost 60 just diagnosed …. Keep educating and sharing 💙🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻💙👊

[lindaferguson]

In our family there has been a history of ASD/ADHD for many years. So I have had experience with the diagnostic problems from the 80's, 90's up until today. I've had a grandchild (born female, male identifying)) diagnosed at age 2 with ASD lvl3/ADHD. I've had a child diagnosed with an unspecified learning disability in the 90's, I've had another child diagnosed with ADHD, Inattentive as an adult in their mid thirties and another grandchild with the same ADHD, Innattentive at age 16. I have just been diagnosed with ASD and Persistant Depressive Disorder at the age of 66 so even with all that family history and experience I have with both disorders I didn't pick it up myself as I had buried it so deep to survive.
My experience with diagnosis was mainly due to some luck as I was looking at seeing if I had ADHD due to me losing some control of the masks and increasing sensitivity issues. I found a Psychiatrist who could treat adult ADHD (not easy to find) and was referred to him. His first reaction was - why look as I had coped with it for all my years and seemed to be doing ok with it. We discussed the need for me to know why I was having issues and why treatment had never worked for me for depression, etc. So he gave me the name of a diagnostic psychologist who did the ADHD assessment, said no to the ADHD (although it was a borderline) but wanted to assess for ASD.
OK so now at 66 I have the reason why things were and are the way they are, but I'm also lost. I don't know who I am, I have no idea where I can get the psychiatric help I need as the normal therapies don't work for me. I have no idea how or where to get the OT support for the sensory issues, where does an adult female at my age find an OT to help me reduce the physical pain and overwhelm of sensitive skin, or working out what exactly is triggering my shutdowns.
By the way - one of the things I've found is that I shutdown more than meltdown as I was conditioned as a child that children did not misbehave, so it went internal.
I think the only way we can change the ways things are is to join together as a community and educate, we need to do the research, the collating, ask the questions, ask for help as a community.
I'm sorry but if you leave it to the medical community and the government it will take a long time to get any better as they do not lead the way, they follow.
If you think about what is happening at the moment and how the increase in diagnosis is being shown statistically, there will eventually be a significant part of the population who will be neurodivergent and that will increase the costs involved in needed accommodations and treatment. This is going to hit governments and societies alike and unless we have a voice we will be shuffled off and ignored as it will become too burdensome. A bit of a rant and ramble and in some ways off topic but also relevant in a way.

[mnelson]

Seems like you understand it very well and covered it perfectly. Thank you for talking about it, please continue, a male voice helps in this world.

[lenoresmith]

Will you cover how to start and maintain friendships for autistic people?

[CattMurdock]

I requested your book from my local library and was just notified that they are purchasing it, so it will soon be in circulation in my area. 🥳

[michelleshaw]

Hey Orion, love your videos!! Would love to know more about the equipment hardware you are using, looks awesome!! Can you create a video on what you use to do your shows? X