The lost art of stimming in late diagnosed/high masking autistic adults #momonthespectrum

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[thegracklepeck]

If I don't stim, I just end up more anxious and miserable. It's really important for me, even if it looks potentially weird to others.

[shadowturner]

I was in the military over 10 years ago and when standing at attention you can't move. My training instructor taught us to wiggle our toes in our boots since it wasn't very visible. I still do that to this day.

[allisonharranmua]

My deepest regret is when I was teaching and we used to stop kids from stimming. It was treated like the worst sin. I didn't know I was on the spectrum yet, I was really misdiagnosed as a kid but I hated doing that to them. It was policy and I had to. Some of the boomer aged teachers would even shame them and yell at them and call them names. I have very similar experiences growing up and I felt for these kids so much. I eventually left teaching because of those experiences.

[saffron]

being forced to stop stimming as a kid has resulted in me pacing in circles around the house whenever im zoned out/trying to focus or read, or whenever else i need stimulus. Since this has become a hazard to others in the house and myself since i have terrible spacial awareness and dyspraxia, i have allowed myself to rock in place again while standing or sitting! and realized it felt the exact same as pacing around on my toes but without the risks! so much better now, and i can focus so much more now while cooking

[joycecz]

I stim. I did all my life. Then I trained myself to stop but it didn't really stop. It became more hidden. Now at 70 I can let it all hang out - and I am more relaxed because I do not care about what other people think. I care about human interactions but not by hiding who I am. I can be.

[JaelH]

My wellbeing is solidly more important than the opinions of others. Stim on, y'all. Woo!

[lilystarr]

This is an important video.

My mother beating my stims out of me as a child *deeply* wounded my nervous system. It deprohrammed my body's natural regulation system. I need to *really* move because I have high levels of energy and I have a lot of trauma I have to move through my system. My body did not simply find an alternate stim that was effective. Twirling my hair and picking at my nails is not enough for my nervous system to regulate.

So, although the body will continue to stim in different ways, its important to explore weather those stims are effective or not.

For me, high masking is extreme hypervigilance that causes me migraines. It's having a very tight grip on yourself, controlling every single word, every glance, every expression, every decision. It's hiding 85% of my personality. It's an isolating trauma response that's physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausting.

Anyways, these videos are really validating

[neiladlerart]

Being at home by myself is great for stimming. I can dance around create movements that very relaxing and engaging. Not exactly what I’d do in public, but sometimes it’s just nice to let loose and move how I want without others being around.

[LaceyMyriah]

This is why my lips are TRASHED. My bf turned to me today and said “can you please stop biting your lips, they’re looking pretty bad. Twirl your hair instead.” It was honestly SUCH a loving comment and one that shows how well he knows me ha. I am undiagnosed, I should add (ADHD diagnosed last year at age 30). I’ve noticed if I can have “wavy arms” and “twinkly fingers” (I gesture a lot and enjoy moving my fingers and arms in flowy ways) it helps a lot!! Especially if I can move all around to some music while I work :)

[rachael]

I'm a verbal stimmer and make noises like randomly meowing and or singing about my cat. And my nervous laugh in public is so cringe

[LightBlueVans]

i’m 31 and i’m finally finally finally letting myself come to the realization that i am on the spectrum. it’s absolutely wild to me how much the pieces are fitting together but it’s taken years of loneliness and navigating this completely alone. i wish i had somewhere to turn for advice and support.

[KeepitRock]

Today I was “stimming” with my fingers and making weird noises as usual while watching TV. I stopped and suddenly wanted to finally know what’s wrong and why I always do that. I searched and found a word for it “stimming” and I was about to cry from happiness to hear your video talking about me 🥲
Thanks for sharing

[mc]

I think there is a nuanced conversation about stimming that is not being had. I think as Autistic people we need to find ways to stim that both are not terribly disruptive to others as well as not harmful to ourselves. It's not okay to run around in polite society making a bunch of noise and banging on stuff when people are just trying to live, it's also not good to pick at your skin, pull your hair, or grind your teeth. But there are a lot of stimmy things in the middle that people can do that help them without bothering others. Fidget toys that don't make a lot of noise are great, hair twirling, tapping fingers on legs, leg bouncing is fine, humming if it's not too loud, rocking is great when there is music on, these are just a few. There are so many options to stim that are both non disruptive to others and non harmful to ourselves. I think the focus should be on encouraging people to find ways to stim that are healthy for them and their relationships with the neurotypical world and I wish people would talk about that more.

[lynn]

ADHD education from lived-experience voices is still so far behind the massive advocacy and education work that has been done by Autistic people.

I thank all of the Autistic people who have spoken up, built communities, shared strategies... because my acceptance of and ability to better regulate my sensory and emotional challenges related to ADHD - have nearly all come from Autistic minds.

[sayusayme]

I’m 63 and still trying to comprehend how I’ve been misdiagnosed other than ADHD. Thank you so much.

[augustababeta]

My thoughts today. I actually finally realised what my stim was and I’ve never felt relaxation on such a deep and profound level before.

[musicnfilm]

I just relearned how to spin around in circles and it feels like my spirit is floating

[adriana]

I’m a big stimmer… I just discovered I’m autistic… always been called out for playing with my hair too much, picking my lips and I also nail bite…. It’s interesting to learn all this new info and why I’ve always been like this! Thank you! ❤️

[MelissaWilliams]

Learning how to be social acceptable is important. We all need to work and function daily and go to school. It’s ok to learn how your brain works and work with it but you shouldn’t give in to all your impulsive thoughts and stims all the time. We need to practice patience. It has been better than any medication I could ever take for my anxiety/ADHD/Autism. I also have 2 kids with autism and This helps them so much - we have a lot of friends that let their kids stim as much as they wanted and now we are hitting teens and it’s a big issue. Consistency from the beginning

[wanderingbelle]

When I was first looking into an autism diagnosis (I’m an 18yo female) and I saw stimming as a potential diagnostic criteria, my immediate thought was oh no I don’t do any of that. And then over the next several days, I started to realize that I, in fact, absolutely do that lol, just in very subtle but unavoidable ways. I like to wear longish skirts and whenever I do I’m always rubbing bits of the skirt between my fingers, I rock slightly forward and back on my toes whenever I’m trying to stand still and listen to someone talk, I bit my lips constantly, I crack my knuckles about five million times a day, and I can’t wear my hair down because I make it greasy minutes by constantly running my hands through it. It’s crazy how, when we have learned to mask so well and so incessantly, we hide our symptoms even from ourselves. On my journey to self-diagnosis, a lot of symptoms I heard about were an immediate “No I don’t do that”, only to think about it for days and realize the ways that I absolutely DO, I am just constantly fighting my natural state to fly under the social radar. Wild.