Behind the Mask: Autism for Women and Girls | Kate Kahle | TEDxAustinCollege

[JanieBee]

Boggles my mind how neurotypicals dont have to constantly monitor their body and communication style to come off as "normal"

[katieaiello]

“Autism is diagnosed when social expectations for neurotypical behavior begin to outweigh the person’s ability to perform those behaviors.”

Never heard such a clear and simple definition on the topic. Thanks.

[kirstyriver]

"I'd always had autistic traits and struggles, but just thought of myself as weird."

Relate much lovely. Xx

[reimeredith]

I had no idea that hyper emotional sensitivity was related to autism. Everyday I discover more and more symptoms I have experienced since childhood and never had an explanation for. Thank you for spreading awareness to people with and without autism!!

[BreMue]

Masking is something people dont even realize they're doing. Someone mentioned it was weird I never looked people in the eyes so I was like "oh I'm not doing this right I guess" and started to force it. (The people complained I was looking into their eyes TOO much 😂😂) and rehearsing conversations because I dont want to be caught in an awkward position.

I did this all before I even knew I was autistic

[nerdipedia]

I was just formally diagnosed as autistic (I’m 51) and I have always been exhausted by the effort it takes to do stuff. It feels like everything is an endless sprint that others seemed to be able to just stroll through. Masking takes a Herculean amount of energy.

[EP]

as a learning disabilities nurse i have been waiting to hear somebody voice the stigma against “aspergers”, due to it’s “founder”. so happy that this lady has included this in her speech

[cricketlol]

I just recently told my mom that I think I’m autistic, I’m hopefully going to get a diagnosis soon! Nobody understands just how hard EVERYTHING is for me, nobody has listened or noticed until now. I could cry thinking about it. Everything makes sense, I’m not crazy and I’m not bad. I’m just different.

[ametrineambrosia]

So weird that neurotypicals don't have to think about it. I had to spend over 15 years masking, researching, rehearsing...watching documentaries and movies, reading books and studying social psychology (as this whole thing became one of my special interests) in order to learn it. I'm proud to say I think I do it better than most neurotypicals do. But it was painful, grueling work that took tons of practice, panic attacks and overstimulation (still get those but have to mask it and it's much less now) to achieve. I'm always told how charismatic I am, so I guess my work has paid off. Proud to be neurodivergent!!

[BrainyCreativity]

Thank you so much for mentioning the racial disparities of autism diagnosis in the minority community. Hardly anyone mentions or gives it the attention it deserves. 🥰🥰🥰

[kr]

Here's what I learned when I was diagnosed at 27 (I'm female). Neurotypicals usually can tell you're masking at some point in the conversation. But, they interpret that as you hiding something and therfore become suspicious. This is when you get people thinking you are creepy, or unsettling in a dangerous way. Sometimes they think we are on drugs.

I found out after losing the ability to mask that it's actually a positive for me not to mask anyway. I'm less anxious in public now and I disclose to people in situations where I'll be spending a lot of time with them, like work. Ive found that it seems to be disarming to some, but that still others don't believe me and think its me larping because my differences are not very extreme. But they're not my boss so I don't care. I can let myself not care. 😊

[beanwednesdays]

She went and SAID it. Thank goodness. It’s so hard to find ppl who understand what it feels like to be an autistic female. I’m “high functioning but also low functioning” apparently and that makes NO sense until you look at that nifty little chart.

[vibesmom]

Truth-
“Society expects more from a little girl than a little boy.”

Great talk!

[epyktdu]

I'm a 25 year old woman who was diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and borderline personality disorder at 12 years old and have medicated as such from ages 12 - now. But now, I'm working with a psychiatrist to get an autism diagnosis because all of the signs are there. I was just pidgeonholed.

I can't even begin to imagine how much easier my life would have been had I gotten the correct diagnosis at age 12, and what that would've meant for my self image and self-knowledge. My life in relation to having autism and having those traits has been incredibly difficult and it is breaking my heart to see how society fails people (but women particularly in this conversation) with autism.

After learning what masking was for the first time, I literally broke down sobbing. I finally understood why I've felt so exhausted, left out, and misunderstood my entire life. Now, I just have to figure out what to do from here. I've struggled in education and jobs and can't seem to find a way to succeed.

[harpladyshomestead]

This made me cry. I'm 67 years old and always felt like I was from another planet. I lived in a bubble that I didn't feel I could break out of to touch human beings. As a child I'd have thoughts that were way beyond my years but I couldn't communicate them, and I was so out of touch with other children, like I said earlier I was an alien who couldn't relate to them at all. I've been awkward, saying things meant one way that people took wrong and were hurt. I would lie awake and cry, because I felt so horrible for the pain I caused. I'd go over conversations in my head over and over changing things, adding new things, trying to make it come out right as if I could somehow fix it. I've been a performing musician, songwriter, and on the road. That was easier as I didnt have to spend time with people, learned the right short answers, and it worked for me. Now I live with family on an acre and write books. It's good to know there was a reason for it all. God knows, He is good.

[i.am.mindblind]

Beautiful speech. I am a late diagnosed woman. I got diagnosed at 42 years old. It's a lot to unravel. Talk about being an expert at masking!

[katiefinch]

I really enjoyed this talk. One thing it made me think of is if society expects more of little girls than of little boys, or just different things. Girls are expected to have better social skills, but boys are expected to be less emotional, for example. I can definitely see some of the issues girls face in being diagnosed with autism being similar to what men masking depression might experience. Not within the scope of the talk exactly, but just made me think

[myselfme]

I knew I was weird as I grew up, for almost two years now I'm researching and autism explains even the smallest details of my "character". It's just unbelievable!

[christahewitt]

She did a great job describing the basic facts about Autism and describing her experiences, kudos to this young lady!

[juliaedlund]

I'm 25 and finally met a medical professional who believes in my autism. Having someone tell me that I'm not weird and that there is nothing wrong with me after living with those feelings my whole life is the most freeing experience I've ever had.