4 Psychological Stages That Occur After Being Cheated On

When you've been betrayed and cheated on, there's more than just the six stages of grief. This video goes through 4 psychological passages you must go through after being cheated on before you can heal.

Mary Jo Rapini, MEd, LPC is a psychotherapist, specializing in intimacy, parenting, body image, and relationships.

Reaction Reset is a self-help series that explains the psychology behind why we react negatively and how we can begin to make a positive change. Subscribe for a new episode every other Wednesday!

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[sarahhajarbalqis]

1 - Self blame self loathing
2 - Incredible sense of loss
3 - Anxiety
4 - Reduced self esteem

[happyd]

One of the worse things you can do to someone is cheat 😞

[michaelgreen]

I cried my eyes out for a couple days when I found out my girl had cheated on me at the job we both worked at. Ain’t nothing wrong with being hurt and letting that out.

[paulwilliams]

Cheaters own all of the betrayal. They are broken trash. Its nothing you did or could have done. They are 100% responsible.

[laurah.]

It should be talked about more. It is one of the worst feelings in the world. Even worse than death at times. Not just in marriage but serious long term relationships too. Happened twice now..just too much.

[Adonist]

I didn't blame myself. I wasn't the one who cheated.

[Curiousgal]

Reading these comments make me feel very scared of commitments and relationship. If cheating can happen after 30-40 years of marriage, then what's the point of marrying!

[clarencesmith]

The same thing happened to me after 38 years. It's hell to go through. I never imagined my wife would do such a thing.

[stevehix]

My heart goes out to this young man. My wife of over 30 years, raised 5 beautiful kids together. Left the family this time last year for another man. It really hurt me deeply. All of these points your talking about are so true. I started getting counseling when she left and it has helped so much. Encourage this young man to work on both his mental health and physical health, it pays off.

[justinhogue]

My beautiful bride of 12yrs cheated on me. She is actually out of town with him right now! Cuts to the core! Makes me never want to put myself in this situation again! I own a business and she works for me so we still seen each other quiet a bit and had big plans! I'm not one to move forward from it. I honestly feel like she's someone else's now! It's one of the most hurtful things I've ever been though/going through! I feel deeply for those of you going thru this! Prayers! 😔

[Stoviecakes]

My heart melted when you spoke up for us dudes. Thank you. Subbed

[wm]

Interestingly after my wife's adultery my self esteem didn't suffer around other people, but it suffered when I was around her. When she's not there I feel confident and secure, while around her I feel self-conscious and small. It's very strange, it has been a few years and I'm usually happy to see her and I care about her, but I still feel insecure and unimportant.

[alariaesculenta]

"You still have to walk through hell to get out" You're saying it so well, it's so painful to realize the man (in my case) you loved has been lying, coniving, cheating, has betrayed your trust, has been slandering, gossiping about you behind your back to someone you don't know; the disrespect, disregard. The one you thought was your lover isn't, has never been. It's all a lie, and on top in spite of proof (taped conversations) he still denies, pretending he was just talking to a childhood friend, it's not what you think, you're misinterpreting, etc, etc, the lying never ends, he digs himself in deeper and deeper. The hurt to your soul is unbearable. The tears never stop, you find yourself suddenly crying without even knowing how it started. Sam Vaknin has a good video on the subject of adultery.

[ZaneBerry]

#4 really resonates with me. After i was cheated on i developed body dismorphia and started doing steroids cause i felt like i was cheated on because i wasnt good enough. Still struggling hard with this it robbed me of all self esteem and confidence. Before this happened i was very good at talking to women and had very high confidence. Now i can't even approach a woman without being overwhelmed by crippling anxiety that im not good enough for her to bother with me. Its so hard this has seriously damaged me emotionally and psychologically

[AL-sgjd]

My self esteem wasn’t so good before the relationship. She was beautiful. Made me feel alive again. Then she cheated now I’m back to feeling like shit. And worse than before. Idk. Just try to be patient

[jimobrien]

This was amazing to hear as a husband who has been cheated on. I am three years from D-Day and can relate to all of what you're talking about.

[patrik-vwek]

My wife recently did this dirty deed to me and the kids...she monkey branched within days of telling me she wanted out...I looked at her and thought I've been living with a liar ... I've not shed a tear which is making me worried that I might be cold hearted...I forgave her the last time but now I feel nothing it's as if my humanity and warmth have disappeared into a void of nothingness...wish I could cry and cleanse my grief but I just can't...I feel inhuman!

[AL-sgjd]

I’m in shock because I thought she was depressed so I spent months helping her and she was sleeping with another. She was my best friend. We never fought

[mariefricchione]

An affair never really ends psychologically to the one cheated on and the cheater remembers it forever with fondness and this fact influences his/her behavior which means the affair partner is always in your marriage. It never ends!

[gforcebaba]

thank you - I was about to do really bad things to myself, drinking, doing whatever I wanted but this video gave me perspective, thank you!