Autism ACTUALLY Speaking: Internalized Abelism

This week I discuss internalized Abelism.

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[travishanson]

Not only am I autistic, but I also have myalgic encephalomyelitis, which seriously limits what mental or physical activities I can do. Friends and family don't fully grasp it either, because the answer is always "push through it, don't slow down" but with ME, pushing thru it can cause death. Trying to find a happy medium where people can understand the struggles is incredibly difficult.

It would have been nice to have anybody I know show up and help put shingles on my garage. I'm 2 weeks into it and still not done. It should have taken a healthy novice a day. I did a roofing job 2x as big during the summer and that took a week.

So I certainly struggle with maintaining my health vs exerting myself beyond the limits of my disability and getting worse, only because nobody is willing or able to realize how bad it is, and will be without some help.

My mother announced her cancer a week before it was CURED. The barrage of support she got was utterly sickening.

[sussybaka]

Wow, this video came at the right time. I too am a victim of internalized ableism, I constantly feel guilty about using accomodations because I have been subtly told "you don't need them". I am just so torn inside, I wanna go all self advocate but feel bad doing so.

[muppetjedisparklefeet]

This is such an important video, thank you so much for making it! I struggle with this every day.

[torgiepie]

I can't even describe how much I needed this wake up call. I've been physically disabled for a few years now and recently got my ADHD diagnosis and have been immensely struggling with my own internalized abelism. Just thank you for this.

[orangesanguines]

I feel like the most prominent feeling I associate with internalized ableism is guilt. I often feel guilty (or I guess some might say ashamed) when I fail to do something neurotypical society expects me to do. I imagine people assigning motives to me, like "she is lazy", "she doesn't care" (as people have said those things to me many times over the years), and I feel guilty, even though I know that it's not true.

[LeoDamascusVG]

So, here's a question. What about when disabilities conflict? I'll give you a real world example. My wife and I were attending a training in preparation to become foster parents. My wife is partially deaf, and so at their default volume she couldn't hear their presentations, and to accommodate her they had to turn up the volume. Since I have sensory processing problems, it's painful for me to listen to sounds at a volume where she can actually hear. Both of us are disabled. Either one feels pain, or the other can't learn. How do we give both disabled people the support they deserve?

I'm not trying to devalue your points, by the way. I agree with you that it's important for the betterment of society as a whole for the disabled to receive accommodations. I just keep running into problems like this in life, and I'm genuinely confused about how to proceed in situations like that one without somebody sacrificing their accommodations

[pastichegraham]

Wow, thank you Nathan, for this video!! Yeah, this is something that's Been a HUGE, HUGE, And even greater problem lately with the battleship that's going on between The Disability community Vs. The Able-bodied Neurotypical Society. and it Shouldn't have to be a battleship between of any side. You'd think by now, there would be An Inclusive and a More willingness to acceptance. But because of the huge battleship with Ableism between both of the two sides, Our Part as a disabled Community Isn't Finnished as of yet Due to the Abled-bodies Silencing Our Accommodations, our Voices, and JUST....Us as a whole and I believe it's our time to Stand up. Disability Rights, Are Human Rights. And that Can NO LONGER Be Silenced. WE ARE WITH YOU NATHAN, and Thanks for Being Awesome!!

[Speakeronwheels]

Thank you Nathan! I needed to hear this!

[cherylcarlson]

I may share that pep talk with the Myositis Support group. Today is cold and rainy, have a cold so muscles are hurting and want to go to bed, feel like a failure not being able to push through the fatigue and pain, frustrated by all the things requiring hand strength and balance. Re writing the editorial in my head about a family using the mobility carts as a ride with their kids in the grocery store, the person who left one at the bus stop and how vital that thing is for me to shop now. Having an invisible disease ( least right up til legs buckle and I fall. I .do. not. want. to. fall.) whether is IBM or my son's Aspbergers is so hard some days, needing accomodation recognition is almost a moral injury.

[GagaLuvr]

Staying in a place that is overwhelming, I was notorious for that in high school. My IEP allowed me to leave the classroom whenever things got too loud but I would always refuse to leave. I also have been made to feel bad for not being able to make phone calls.

[katelynndelanney]

I have high functioning autism and I'll give you a example ok so I see a lot of posts about autism and I relate to all of them and I saw one about being disabled and I was like am I disabled? I'm not disabled I have high functioning autism that doesn't count right? other people have it worse and those thoughts just always sit with me😕😕this video really helped me to understand!!😊😊

[echothenardier]

Is it possible for a person to experience Internalized Ableism that takes the form of anxieties about their mental capabilities?

I have Autism and for a few years now I’ve been experiencing fear about my intelligence and my perception of reality, which has led into fears about whether or not I can survive in a neurotypical world.

[nikolateslaize]

I just created an instagram account about it. Because an individual voice isn't enough. I use wheelchair at job because of Rheumatoid Arthritis and the ignorance of society is killing me. I am kinda lucky, my country's people is really helpful due to culture & tradition but education levels are low. So they can carry you on their back but to teach them to not park at handicapped parking lot is like a hell and it can cause a big fight. So I thought may be I can increase awareness via that account. We'll see. Btw Nathan, I am sorry, I don't want to be a grammar Nazi but "ableism" not "abelism".

[davef]

I refuse to set aside my mental well being to pacify anyone else's personal social philosophies. That does not mean that I will be a rude S.O.B., it just means I will use my most polite form to say you are a moron and an wait, i guess I will just be me and be an then resume whatever seems to have set you off.

[tlrlml]

I am not sure if you are not simply confusing "internalized Ableism" for "introspection". For it to be Ableism induced by the self, it must (conclusively) be inspired by the actual experience of ableism from others... otherwise it is simply introspection and/or sympathy for how others might feel.


Also, you may have missed this but, such a group of "backers" already came together to support "us" and to begin to create a society more accommodating to the disabled... they gifted us with all they could by way of assistance, you call that assistance the "Americans with Disabilities Act". Trying to mobilize the disabled, when we have already received full acknowledgement of our needs and been given considerations to accommodate them, in a majority non-disabled world, seems like it could only result in the reduction/removal of those acknowledgement and consideration.