Masking and Internalized Ableism #masking #ableism #actuallyautistic #autism

[Tickles_The_Oaf]

The internalised ableism is a real struggle! I’ve been on an unmasking mission. My husband and I have neighbours- an couple about 20 or so years older than us. My husband and they have chatted a few times and he’s explained that because of my autism, I’m not chatty or sociable. Anyway, the other day, we were out for a walk and we saw the couple out too. We said hello and the wife was saying something small talk-ey and kept looking at me for whatever female bonding confirmation that was expected from me and my husband said when she wasn’t getting that from me, he could see her getting more and more uncomfortable but she kept at it! He was baffled because he said they knew that I was autistic. It’s frustrating because my appearance leads people to basically forget I’m not neurotypical and then I end up giving myself a hard time for “making” someone uncomfortable- as though I’m responsible for their feelings. When all I’m being is myself and protecting my mental health. Because as we know, masking is so draining for our body and minds! And the way I see it is my well-being is too precious to sacrifice it to appease someone else’s ego.

[KatieCottingham]

🥺🥺🥺 Damn. You just spoke to my awkward 20-something soul. As a 30-something who FINALLY got diagnosed, I can tell you that finding yourself earlier gives you more years to connect to people that get you, the real you, and how to be your own advocate in every situation. Thank you for sharing this! 💕🧡💕🧡

[cattime]

i had your same thinking! i thought i just had social anxiety so i attempted to just push myself through it and expose myself to social interactions. i essentially traumatized myself and forced myself to be someone i was not and do things i did not enjoy. i learned a big lesson, long story short. and i have to add, i was not at all great at masking to begin with. felt like a fool.

so yes, you're speaking so much truth here.

[mariamart_]

…Seeing another Black woman as a Black girl makes me tear up…and I am feeling pain in my chest and soul because of your going through as a Black autistic woman in the US…

United States is not a safe place for neurodivergent Black people plus so as anywhere :(

[mpayne]

First I want to say is that you look very lovely. Also want to say is that I have always been a quite shy person myself, and high functioning autistic myself, because I had trouble with my social skills. Now I socialize a bit more, with a some help from my mom, and from best buddies from high school. Also find this video very educational❤️💯

[carissaetlora]

Ugh same here. Thank you for voicing this

[SmileyRN]

Yes. This is 100 percent me since I was a teen. 35 now