How To Be Less Nice

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[mantasusinskas]

The more nice you are, the worse you feel. Nice people get laughed at, bullied, used etc.

[empresszaire]

It's sad that people will take your kindness for weakness. Thanks for posting this.

[phillipmakris]

Be KIND, not nice. Kind has boundaries, nice is submission

[yourgoat_]

I'm done being nice to people who dont respect me in return

[vishaljeyaram]

Have always been a nice person. Always felt spineless, never having my own voice in front of people. Mostly because of whether people judged me or whether I hurt their feelings. I now feel ready to change into a more powerful individual who matters in this world. Thanks Dr Aziz. Never stop uploading your vids!

Amazing video, this is really what's all about. Being nice won't get you far in life, people will walk over you. You need to set boundaries. Few more points about being too nice and when you decide to stop being nice:
- Be prepared to upset other people sometimes
- Don't put yourself always last
- Have you own point of view without waiting what other people think
- Don't always say yes to everything
- Never be pushed around or taken advantage of
- When you need to ''hiss'', ''hiss''

[seangrady]

35 years old and just learning this...

[kp-rhmo]

Parents should teach kids about "self respect" so that they don't become door mats and punching bags for the rest of our lives..

[shahuzrat]

The more nice you are, the more badly you are being treated.
I suffered from chronic depressed for being way too nice.

[user..-.]

I’m not ignorant of the fact that my low self esteem comes from an abusive home.

[moonkookie]

I used to be sick almost all the time, it was really bad. Also, I never used to get angry, and afer years of therapy i have finally given myself a right to be angry... Haven't had a bad inflamation since then

[jaytei]

I am 42. Now I find you… "The more nice you are, the worse you feel. Nice people get laughed at, bullied, used etc" I went inside myself and stayed there. Don't know how many years its been. I have no real friends and feel very much alone. I've had ppl tell me i'm too nice, they ostracised me. Now I have ostracised myself, which is conflicting as I am a outgoing person. People are shit. I will watch your videos and see what happens. Cheers

[yoanperez]

Hi Man,
I totally agree with you, I used to be the over nice guy.
One huge fear is the fear of rejection, especially when talking to girls.
My biggest advice is BE HONEST, honesty on everything positive or negative.
Make compliments only if they are honest and not just to please the other person.
When someone is rude or does something you don't like, say it.
True Honesty positive and negative is the key here.

[stevenli]

Personally, I think it has to do with the purpose, the reason for you being nice.

If you're nice just to get approval from other people, then you sort of jumped
into a trap you set yourself up of. Because other people's approval is not
controlled by you, they can actually use that to manipulate and/or control you.

Then you would feel like you HAD to be nice.

But, if you're nice to others because you want to be nice, you actually
enjoy being nice to others, you actually enjoy being helpful to other people,
then that comes from you. That kind of nice is much more assertive,
because you know you don't HAVE to do it, but you want to do it.

You are then in control, you're then ONE with you're true self.

When you're one with your true self, you are powerful, like a warrior.

Like Clark Kent (all of a sudden)realizing he has an 'S' on his chest.

[najahariffin]

The more confident we are, the more nice we can be to others...because we become authentic...

[AshGeo]

I am a typical example of the nice guy that you're talking about. My experience is that whenever I even think of reacting to someone who mistreats me, my heart would start beating so fast and loud, so much that I feel like fainting. If this person was someone I trusted and liked, tears would gush out of my eyes and my voice would fade while talking about it with him.
I hate this feeling and identification of being weak and gentle. But its almost like imprinted into my personality, that I don't even know if there is a way out.

[Lalo]

In other words don't live for other people's expectations... focus on yourself don't let nobody move you off your center because of your personal choices.

[michaelgoines]

Thanks for helping me see why I try to be a nice guy....I do try to avoid confrontation and I do feel bad when someone else is disappointed with me....I will be working on this in my life....thank you again....

[fluteindian]

Going through a painful phase for being nice with some people. They have absolutely started talking advantage of it. Things are going get better now. Thanks Aziz

[ajibolaolubando]

Good Video Dr. Aziz, I look forward to watching more videos and getting rid of My "nice guy" persona. Pathologically Seeking approval, avoiding confrontations, fearing the judment of people among other traits have held me back from doing so much and meeting great people in my life. Its a really messed up place to be with low confidence and poor self-esteem. i'm looking to push on from this point and build my confidence.