Do Men Stay Longer in Unhappy Marriages?

If women are initiating 70-80 percent of all divorces but men are unhappy in those marriages, too, why DON’T they leave?
#divorce #divorcedwomen #divorcedparents

[Harmonious-jmsy]

I stayed 34 years too long in a 34.5 year marriage with my narcissistic ex. Boils down to many things: children, finances, and most of all trauma bond from narcissistic abuse. They beat you down and emasculate you until you’re a shell of your former self. You become a zombie with no self esteem.

[jackshaftoe]

We just know we're gonna get screwed in court, so we ride it out.

[shillanassi]

Studies consistently show that men are less sensitive to the quality of relationship in marriage.

[xxluaxx]

Women leave marriages more often because those women are usually married single mothers who have a harder time being married than they would being single. Men who pull their weight don't see divorce as often.

[timothysturgess]

from what I have observed with those in my community that have gotten divorced was due to some sort of sexual infidelity, weather it's the man or the woman, the one who chested wanted to stay married but the one who was betrayed is the one to leave. look into the statistics on reasons men and women file for divorce. for men it was maily due to some sort of substance use, and women it was due to infidelity, or sever pornagraphy use.

[tywillis]

She is 1000% correct in that men tolerate horrible marriages due to the financial hit they are going to experience if they leave their wives. Nobody wants to live in a cardboard box while the perpetrator of madness gets to live in your home; all while you pay her alimony. Laws need to change to make divorce more equitable to men.

[comicnerd]

This maybe a factor, but I think there are other factors involved as well. Like most men are satisfied with their current status and lifestyle, but women are never satisfied with what they already have, they are always looking for better options, thinking that they deserve better.

[hueizzit]

I stayed 25 years because I wanted to see my kids every day. Terribly selfish but neither of us could afford to live on our own and more than anything I kept hoping things would get better. My kids are in their mid twenties now and moved out last year. The romance never revived and I am 65 and exhausted. I care about her and will do anything I can to help her but I just need to be happy. I have nothing l to say... the pressures of life have effect on each of us and we all handle it with as much as we can until we break. I am lonely and I do not doubt my ex😮 partner is also but sadly we cannot communicate so now I can at least be happier alone as misery is company without joy.

[abrd]

It’s more than that. We are expected to suck it up and “take it like a man”

[GauriShivaswife]

In my case all my exes felt they were getting what they needed in our relationships because I cared to provide that. The reverse was not true, so of course they wanted to stay.

[jenw]

My fiancée stayed married to a horrible woman for nearly 30 years. He first stayed around for who he thought was his son, he then continued to stay when they ended up raising his step grandson. She never worked, never contributed to the home in a meaningful positive way, cared more about drugs and other men than her husband and children. She filed for the divorce and right on cue... he got financially screwed. He got screwed and they didn’t even have children to fight over!
BUT... as much as I hate that he dealt with all of that I am grateful that he was strong enough to get through it because had his life not played out exactly as it did we never would have met. Her loss is definitely my gain, and now he gets to spend the second half of his life with a woman who loves, respects, appreciates, and cherishes him.

[lucdrouin]

I have an other theory for you. Men are more committed to the marriage. They believe in its importance, in the vows made at its formation, and in the couples' capacity to heal dysfunctions. They also care more about the children not having separated parents. They may even worry about the message their divorce will give to their children about the wishibility of engaging and investing in deeper and more profound relationships. I don't think that women, more into the present moment and into their feelings, think these things through. Men have feelings too, but they learn to suck them up in order to achieve a greater goal.

[bgaona]

No, I don't think this is correct. Yes, men will certainly stay longer, but I don't think that has as much to do with the financial hit as much having promised. Knowing that children depend on stability. Trying hard not to let their whims govern their lives.

[Drumbeat]

Why do men stay, because they have more to loose than women. Women leave with 50% of the finances and the children! Been there done that, watched my wife replace me with another guy in the blink of an eye. Never talked with me about being unhappy just started cheating. I am not a mind reader or have some paranormal gift, there are proper ways of ending unhappy relationships and sneaking around is not one of them. I filed for divorce and she turned our son against me. Thanks for the respect she failed to show me.

[TheMarihifenanna]

No, it's more practical for them to keep cheating.

[generalblackblood]

As a woman said only yesterday:
"Men sacrifice their happiness for their families.
Women sacrifice their families for their happiness."

[Aggie]

Life has remained miserable four years after my second marriage ended. Each time I think it might be improving, it just gets worse. In the Fall, I had met someone and was feeling happy for the first time in over five years. After being in the desert, I had hope. I was literally playing silly love songs on Amazon Music. All the years of medication and therapy, yet nothing fights depression compared to love. That banned word that everyone is afraid to actually say out loud. Yet that is what I felt. I wasn't going to rush off and do anything stupid. I was just happy spending time with her. I even went with her when she was shopping for a coat and suitcase for a trip at several of those discount stores, Marshall's and others, that I hate going to. But I was content just spending time with her. Then in December, she broke up by text giving me a reason that sounded like it came from a bad HR department. I could've accepted any number of reasons, but this was knowing nothing. I fell off a cliff, and emotionally went numb. I could be Darth Vader or James Bond, and any empathy is just barely there. At this point, I'd just like to find a TARDIS and leave with my dogs and two cats. Any other universe would be better than this one.

[Gary-lo]

Men know by leaving, what the out come will be, all the things he may give up, it`s more then finances or moving out. It`s more of her side of the family or friends or neighbours talking and hearing 1 side of HER story. Some men drink, just to get threw the day.

[GeorgeGlass]

So basically they are lazy and want to keep enjoying the wife's free labor. They don't care about how she feels at all It's all about how they feel.

[anleekij]

Sounds like the last 20 of my 23 yrs. That explanation checked all the boxes except children were left out.