The Messy Side of Hospice End of Life Journey

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#endoflife #hospice #activelydying

[nancymesek]

The hospice nurses we had for my Father were awesome. Hats off to all of them that make the transition easier for everyone ❤️

[joohobbs]

**TW : post about death and dying of a loved one.**
Just as we live our lives in our own unique way, we navigate our death journey in our own unique way too. My Mum died on the 23rd of March this year and I have to admit I was guilty of ‘micro managing’ her end of life care. I didn’t want to get anything wrong, between us my brother, sister and I kept vigil at Mum’s bedside for 6 days. We wanted to keep mum as comfortable, clean and peaceful as she possibly could be. I’ve watched your videos and Penny’s so I thought I knew what to expect but just as she did in life, mum did dying in her own way. All the visual signs I was looking out for never happened, she didn’t go cold until a while after she died. Even her finger tips were still very warm. There was no death rattle, just days of guppy breathing, her ankles and feet were more swollen during her life than they were at the end. The main questions we kept asking were “is she in pain?” And “does she know we are here?” I guess they were two questions the nurses in the hospital (not hospice, she was too unwell to be moved) couldn’t answer for certain. On reflection I think with the exception of not being in her own home, mum had the death she wanted in that she had her 3 babies (48, 45 and 39 year olds but still her babies) around her. She must have felt the overwhelming love we all had for her, we played her favourite music, had her favourite TV shows on, massaged her hands and feet, brushed her hair, talked to her, shared memories of our childhoods with each other whilst sitting around her bed.
As perfect as it was for her, I wish I could have given her all that without actually being there. I really didn’t want to see her die, but felt I had to be there as the other two were. It’s been nearly 3 months since she died and I’m struggling to see her in my mind, I can’t recall how her hugs felt, or how her voice sounded, all I can hear is her guppy breathing and her lying in the bed looking nothing like my mum. Sorry, I’ve gone off on a tangent, but it just seems to be flowing this morning at 4am. I don’t want to sleep in case I relive that week yet again in my dreams.

[MyrtGyrt]

Nurse Julie and all hospice nurses Thank you ; you are appreciated more than you will ever know ❤

[marshellroper]

I love you! God has given you a wonderful gift of serving his people in going home and helping them transition to Him.
Soooo beautiful!

[chrissena]

Thank you so much, Ms.Julie! Always so informative. Bless you!

[ritafarris]

I have learned so much from you. I admire your knowledge.

[waitz]

end of life journey? who's got EXACT ANSWERS for life's journey?!

[kirendacockrell]

My mother-in-law is now slowly, turning purple on her lips and her hands. She has not woken up. She’s not eat in almost a week not drink anything but a cuppa coffee and that was last week. She woke up out of her chair, looked over and said hi to her son-in-law and good morning and then fell asleep all day and then when they brought the wheelchair, she said I need a cigarette and so my sister-in-law to go outside she dropped it a couple times but she finished the whole cigarette and she’s never done that but as of today we will be saying goodbye to my mother-in-law. We went down to go see her. She woke up all the grandkids hugs and kisses and fell back asleep when we left. I woke her up and I said mom were leaving. I love you so much and said I love you too say goodbye to the kids that she loved them all and we left and not even 24 hours she has slight purple lips and blue lips and her hands are slowly turning blue so my sister-in-law covered her up just in case she was cold, I watch your videos for a lot of information. I appreciate it my sister works in hospice and home health where my mother-in-law is but my mother-in-law’s on a different hospice so my sister gives me information and what’s happening next. I feel like when she says ow that she’s hurting and I don’t know what to tell my sister-in-law.

[RABPWarrior]

I had to put down your book to watch the movie you referenced!!! 😂

[tadreaming]

I tried to keep my wife clean. It was very hard though, in the last 3 days or so. It wasn't a problem doing cleaning, but the slightest touch was powerfully painful for her. She had diarrhea the last few days. She had gallbladder cancer, her body was one big raw nerve. Soon as she got clean, she soiled.

[andrewjoyce]

My mother's end of life was tough. She was in hospital dying of mestasis cancer. She was in alot of pain. Dr's told us different things. We were told not to give her any liquid. Others said it was ok. We tried to feed her but she hardly ate. My dad died 4 weeks earlier from a brain tumour. Thankfully the pain had put him into a sleep a week before he died. This was around September October last year

[melissaknappier]

Yes, I felt like I had 2kno every single thing, & I didn't always get an answer, so of course I felt like they didn't give a shit 🤷‍♀️but u have helped me understand so much 🙏🙏🙏I didn't find u until shortly after my Gpa, but I'm glad I did💜💙💚

[Christy-zwet]

@hospice nurse Julie my boyfriend is on dialysis and he has other health issues he's been doing dialysis for 10 years I been noticing that he has been acting somewhat different how do I know when it's time for him to be in hospice

[EricD-jj]

I know when my brother was dying from a.l.l. leukemia, I donated marrow but graf v host caused problems. But his chemo, he was 6 10, I'm 6 4, I will never do chemo bc of him, I had to carry him, when he puked, since he was 6 inches taller, it was a rainbow shower

[debrapochie]

Thank you for sharing your experiences and expertise 🫂 It helps answer so many questions that caregivers need to know. ❤

[johnmoirano]

My entire life has been a filthy stinking dirty mess. It 💋 might as well be that way as I kiss 💋 the devils 😈 😢😢 🫏 🐴 🫏 🐴 🫏 and step into purgatory 😢😢😢