12 Signs You Are a Psychologically Mature Adult

FURTHER READING

“As we know only too well, becoming an adult has very little to do with turning 18 or 22, driving a car or being entitled to drink, getting a mortgage or having a child. An adulthood worthy of the name is an internal process which may post-date the acquisition of a formal adult identity by many years. We might be 92 and still, very slowly, leaving adolescence behind. If we lived to be 450, many of us would still be struggling to acquire the fundamental constituents of a grown-up…”

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CREDITS

Produced in collaboration with:

Léon Moh-Cah

Title animation produced in collaboration with

Graeme Probert

[trinaq]

"The day the child realizes that all adults are imperfect, he becomes an adolescent; the day he forgives them, he becomes an adult; the day he forgives himself, he becomes wise." Alden Nowlan

[monsieur]

I don't remember where I heard this but it was something along the lines of: "be an adult when you must and stay a kid when you can"

[thefirstnorthman]

Adulthood is self-awareness and acceptance in summary

[ljkohable]

The elements ;
1. Childhood awareness
2. Be introspective
3. Know your feelings
4. Be realistic
5. Body and mind connection
6. Subconscious awareness
7. No victim identity
8. Gratefulness
9. Self-compassion
10. Self-control
11. Empathy
12. Acceptance

[ryan]

if you want to go deeper into the rabbit hole, 'Unveiling Your Hidden Potential' by Bruce Thornwood is a must-read

[dmunoz]

We don't leave childhood or leave adolescence, we don't overcome or finish them. Adulthood is built over the bases of childhood and adolescence, but our inner child and inner teen will always be with us. Negating them would be pathological.

[SpiritVines]

In short we must understand that we and others are imperfect and while we both may not seek to do harm we can sometimes hurt one another. It’s up to us to look deeply inside ourselves to discover the lessons in the madness of life and to hope for a more peaceful future in turn. Maturity is not simply growing up, it’s growing a more nuanced lens of ourselves and the world around us so we can live more calmly and give more grace to ourselves and others.

[KairosAmie]

You know you've reached adulthood when you dare (i.e. that you are daring enough) to take responsibility for your choices.

[assettnottoday]

1. We understand some of the ways in which our childhoods have shaped who we are today

2. We give up on the temptations of believing that we might be simpler than we are.

3. We develop a sober appreciation of how easy it is to lie to ourselves.

4. We learn to tell others with slightly more accuracy what’s really going on inside us

5. We understand (when we aren’t tired) the difference between what someone meant to do to us and what we experienced at their hands

6. We forgive ourselves for the strangeness of our minds

7. We allow ourselves to get angry at certain things that might have happened around those who put us on earth (But we don’t stuck in the position of fury)

8. We accept that sometimes reality maybe less awful than we assume it will be.

9. We accept how many of our moods rely on the vagaries of our bodies

10. We learn that we are not compelled to say everything that passes through our minds the moment it does so.

11. We get patient and encouraging towards those who are less advanced than we are.

12. we remain aware that any progress we feel we have made is always liable to be temporary

[Confidentostrich]

The problem is sometimes finding a suitable partner who is equally emotionally mature and aware, it seems everyone on the dating scene tends to look at life through mere passions and toxic positivity and travelling the world and fun time on weekends, making us feel like we’re abnormal for preferring to travel more within our minds, and possibly destined to be alone.

[Jenesis]

I truly felt like an adult was the moment I realized that everyone is different and I needed to let them be. Their path may be self destructive but who am I to interfere? It was pretty devastating at first but I slowly settled into this mindset.

[thrylos]

One of the first conditions that help someone starting to behave as an adult:

Free thinking, free speech. If you can't do this - things become difficult

If you don't let your child - partner - friend freely say and do "stupid" or non usual things, you don't help them grow. They must be free to express anything. Let them sing/dance even if they are terrible! Let them talk even if they say garbage. It's the only way, firstly to hear/do what they say/do by themselves - thus understanding or clarifying it or simply enjoying it or using it as a way out of other emotions.

If they still say or do something that could be wrong or harmful, and they don't realise it - you can start a normal discussion about it - before 9pm of course :-)

This also applies to one's own self.

Sometimes society doesn't help. Bosses may be hard, colleagues may be strange, family members may have problems or may simply don't care ... You can identify these issues and find the correct moments to do your self analysis. Or be helped by a friend or a professional in the whole process.

But freedom is the beginning. Freedom to have your own wrong views, freedom to try and fail over and over, freedom to look weird, freedom to say and do anything that doesn't really affect others in a bad way.

[Mm-dngc]

i came in here wanting to hear how much of an adult i am and im leaving in shambles.

[ethanhall]

It took me many years to accept the imperfections of my parents. They had terrible childhoods; I learned this after they were both deceased. I haven't forgiven myself yet on being blind to their struggles and expecting things they just couldn't give me. It'll be a long journey to self-compassion.

[funwithmadness]

That was about the most polite way of passive-aggressively calling out at least 75% of all "adults". :)

[Mr.Rgdias]

One good thing about getting past a certain age is that you're no longer expected to always be tough, strong, fast or bright. You're no longer on the spot light. This serene way of life gives you the opportunity to pay close attention to your surroundings - that's when you learn how much information you were missing out because you were always in a hurry.

[Yes_Im_Adarsh]

My father is 47 and acts like 17 and since I was 15 I had to act like an adult.

[solarwinds-]

To me being an adult is, being responsible, being empathetic to another, admitting when you're wrong, knowing the difference between right and wrong, keeping your promises, making only promises you CAN keep, give only constructive criticism and being truthful without being mean. I have a ways to go but I'm trying everyday.

[xXnazmanXx]

I don’t want to be egotistical when I say this, but a lot of this resonates with me and I understand why people would tell me I’m very mature. I don’t think I always go about it perfectly, but I try my best to understand what I do for each step and take necessary action.

I think for anyone watching this, I’d recommend focusing on making future you proud, instead of looking at the past and disappointed at yourself.

[silverfascia]

A child is not obligated to force a relationship with someone with impaired empathy who refuses to see your side of things while you attempt to see theirs.
At a certain point, one must decide if utilizing everything they've learned through healing themselves can also be utilized to bridge the divide between themselves and their parents. It's not the parent's fault that they're the way they are, but it's their RESPONSIBILITY to become aware of how their patterning affects others, especially when deciding to raise children.