Autism in girls - I was wrong

But after much reflection I wanted to revisit this idea of "gendered autistic traits" and move away from the idea of female autism and male autism altogether.

I chatted with Purple Ella about this topic and we decided to do a mini collab where we both discuss this topic. Check out her video here:

Cordelia Fine books I recommend (Affiliate links):

A clarification about Maria Montessori - The Absorbent Mind (not her first book as I said in the video) does contain some quotes re: her eugenicist views, although her general educational philosophy does not promote this. I actually do really appreciate parts of the Montessori method, but I wanted to mention her views to make the point that it was not uncommon for people to hold them, even people who had otherwise decent thoughts about education.

[autitrain]

I'm a male and my brain isn't male or female. My brain is autistic. It's the best way I can describe it.

[ComputerVA]

"Done is better than perfect." Great Idea! I waste so much time waiting for perfect.

[seejendo]

I really appreciate that you took the time to reflect on what you have said in the past because that’s EXACTLY what the entire autism community needs to do. There’s still so much we don’t know and so many gaps in the research. Even as the research evolves, most practitioners, parents, and people don’t keep up with it. I’m literally planning my life (with an autistic husband and two autistic toddlers) around changing careers so I can get a PhD and research subtypes, improving diagnostic instruments, and educating the entire community of people who support autistic people. We have to change this... we’re better than we were but we’re still so far from where we need to be.

[classvideosbydrstarrs]

Hi Sam, as an autistic professor of clinical psychology, this is exactly what I strive to do - to teach my students to be critical thinkers and scientists who are knowledgeable but critical of the way that we define mental "illness" vs. mental health, of what should even be considered a "mental disorder" vs. normal ND development, gender identity, sexual orientation etc. Must say: the new generation give me hope, (at least here in North America) they are really pushing for divergence at every level to be viewed as, not just the norm, but the heart of the future... we are getting there 🙂

[jonathanmitchell]

I wonder if the disproportionate diagnoses of males is partly due to the tendency for society to view sensitivity and shyness as problematic in males. So if a male child is disturbed by sensory stimuli or if he doesn't engage with social situations, maybe society notices it as a problem that needs to be fixed instead of just classifying it as a difference in personality.

I'm not trying to say that men have it worse though. I'm sure women are subjected to as many or more social expectations. But maybe society has just historically viewed femaleness as a sort of disorder on its own so that any differences are just attributed to the person being female. I'm thinking of the hysteria example; even when a woman had an actual medical problem, doctors might have just labeled it as hysteria and viewed it as a "normal" part of being a woman. And maybe a man experiencing the same condition would instead be labeled as weak/unmanly and thus excluded from maleness, preserving the construct of maleness as strength and leadership, but only by excluding men labeled as "weak" and boxing them into a disorder.

[kirbycobain]

The intersection between being trans and autistic is a really tough one. In California where I live, trans people can be denied insurance coverage for medical transition if they have an autism diagnosis. Part of the reason I haven't been diagnosed is because I knew I could be denied top surgery with that diagnosis, so I prioritized top surgery. I had a friend in college who was a trans man diagnosed with autism in childhood, and because of that he couldn't get testosterone, top surgery or even a reduction. He couldn't bind either due to other health complications. Because "gender issues" and "confusion" are one of many traits listed under autism in the DSM V, our gender dysphoria is denied and untreated because we supposedly can't have both. It's a MASSIVE problem in the psychology community, and because autism research in women, let alone transgender people being extremely far behind, we have a LONG way to go. And its REALLY frustrating being caught in the middle of it.

[digiscream]

I've only been on this journey for a few months, but...after talking to the folk on your Discord, and watching many of the explosion of "This is what autism looks like in women" videos, it became fairly clear that if we're going to split autism into two "types", the gender split is coincidental rather than causal. It's actually much closer to "well-masked and ostensibly functional" vs "caught in childhood" - because almost all of the people who're coming into this later in life present exactly according to the broad "female autism" type, almost by definition - we're the ones who've learned to cope with the world, through a combination of masking, societal expectations and often at least one unintentionally helpful autistic parent (who grew up exactly the same way, but without a diagnosis themselves).

The fact that most female incidence of autism tends to be of this type is likely a combination of young girls being more socially adaptable and the social expectations placed on them by their peers, whereas boys (from my anecdotal experience) tend to have smaller, less socially-diverse social groups where the incentive for adaptation can be significantly lower.

Equally, of course, I could be completely off-base, 'cos I'm well aware that I don't know enough about it yet, and my pool of research volunteers has been somewhat self-selecting ;)

EDIT: I forgot to say...way to go for setting an example, Sam! Correcting yourself publicly when new information comes to light is both very important and very much "not easy", particularly in a relatively closed community.

[MammaApa]

I think much of the over-representation of non-binary in autistic people comes from the fact that we do not effortlessly fit into current social systems but have to learn them from scratch and through this process rarely just accept things for what they are. We wanna know what and when and WHY (and by extension: how can I make this more effective so that less of my daily energy is spent abiding to it). And gender, being a mostly performative thing, is hardly spared from this scrutiny.

[rainewhispers]

I really appreciate this video. As a transmasculine/nonbinary person, seeing myself relate so heavily to "female autism" caused a lot of dysphoria.

[piai]

I really appreciated your first video on this topic, but I am even happier with this video! I am nonbinary myself and tend to reduce myself to my female assignment at birth when others do so. Now with you presenting a wider perspective on gender and autism I feel very seen and I am more able to see and validate myself. So thank you! (Sorry for my weird english, I'm not a native speaker)

[seejendo]

And the threat of eugenics is FAR from gone. It’s part of why I get VERY nervous about genetic research and autism. I think there are definitely things we can get out of it, but it would be soooo easy to start down the very slippery slope of prevention and... worse.

[renatatuinenburg]

Sam, I'm a mother searching for answers and support for my 15 y.o. daughter. I'm happy to finally have found your channel. Your videos have helped me and her a lot! I see that she has become more aware and happy to know she's not alone. Having a place where she can find her peeps is very comforting.
Thank you a lot.

[IronMaiden]

I think they focus too much on external cues when they should be asking people WHY they are behaving the way they do. Sexism is definitely prevalent

[elirods]

Definitely the "Autism symptoms in girls" video was an eye-opener for me, and a great first step in breaking the cis-male-white-boy stereotype. As everything in life, autism is complex and varied. Thanks for always make us look for more than just the surface, and strive to open the spec to every autistic. Learning and knowledge are always great to make changes happen.

[godzillaeyes]

Yup, "hysterical" actually comes from the root "of the womb." Like, removal of the uterus is called a hysterectomy.

[Littlebeth]

I've only ever had the ADHD diagnosis but so many people tell me I have a male brain despite being a cis woman. This has given me so much doubt about my validity as a woman. Using gender signifiers for personality traits can be really harmful.

[AnaMuhlethaler]

OMG! I am so happy that someone is talking about Maria Montessori had some eugenics ideas in her book! Because everyone talks only about how amazing she was and when I started reading I start to feel crazy! Like “am I seeing stuff where there isn’t ?”

[allebasaiadartse]

This is so true, and I wish people could understand that having a diagnosis it's a privilege in women (With exceptions of course).

[ThePhantomQueen]

I stopped seeing psychologist when i was like 16 because nothing they said fit and they put me on meds for anxiety because my meltdowns then meds for bi polar

[emilypierce]

Your autism in girls video is what made me realize I was autistic, that was a long time ago. When talking about autism to other people, I used to mention "autism presentation in females", at one point a male friend told me he related to some of the traits that I was calling feminine autistic traits. and that's when I realized it didn't sit right with me to call those traits feminine. I absolutely love that you created this video as an update, it really articulates the problem with autism and gender. I think keeping your original video up is great as well, because it helped me get diagnosed and I can only imagine how many others it helped! As always, I love your content :)