Inside the hateful and lonely world of incel men | Uncovering Incels (Part 1) | Short Documentary

Content warning: Contains violent and distressing content, including references to sexual violence and racist slurs.

The incel community is a world that’s usually closed off to the outside - especially to women. Incels, short for 'involuntary celibates', are mostly lonely young men who can’t find a sexual or romantic partner – and resent women for it.

In this two-part investigation, two female producers meet with current and former incels from around Australia to learn what it means to be an incel.

Chapters:
00:00 – 01:01 Intro
01:30 – 02:14 What is an incel? Meet “Tom”
02:15 – 03:54 What do incels talk about? Inside an incel chatroom
04:21 – 05:04 Having lunch with five incels. Do incels date?
05:03 – 05:54 What do incels believe?
05:55 – 07:20 Where is the incel movement headed?
07:21 – 08:26 Do all incels hate women? What do some incels do to try to attract women?
08:27 – 09:39 Are all incels virgins?
09:40 – 10:22 Incels and relationships?
10:23 – 10:44 Sneak peek of Part 2

Reporter/Producer: Michelle Elias
Producer: Jennifer Luu
Shooters: Daniel Gallagher, James Gilligan, Gavin Blyth
Editors: Gavin Blyth, Mark Tadic, Tom Adams
Sound: Andrew Timlin
Graphics: Caroline Huang
Digital Lead: Jodie Noyce

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[painunending]

Imagine being an incel AND living in Australia... Truly a hellish existence

[racqueldillon]

Wanting sex is a normal.human feeling. But basing your entire identity and level of happiness based on having or not having it is alarming.

[danpartridge]

This is just depressing. I'm 33 and haven't dated/been romantically involved with anyone since college. I've spent my time building up my career and focusing inward. I own my own home/vehicle, have two dogs I adore, money in the bank, and I enjoy my solitude immensely. I wish these younger dudes could become self-reliant and enjoy themselves more in place of such self-hated. I am my own biggest fan and advocate -- I wholeheartedly believe that has been the key to my success and my happiness.

[darkking]

There are 2 types of incels-

1. Entitled pricks who are angry and hateful towards women for not sleeping with them. These are the ones with violent tendencies.
2. Socially awkward/ lonely men, often conventionally unattractive looking who have lost hope and feel like they should give up.

About 8/10 would fall into that second group, but unfortunately the first group is what many people think all incels are like.

[carla]

The "hello female" when she arrived killed me

[adishadzo]

Raymond literally said "if I don't find a girlfriend until 35, I will find a job". 😂
That's not how it works.

[Simone-xecw]

I've lived dating pre and post the "dating app era", and I can say without a doubt that dating today feels more like a job interview than a moment of knowledge.

[koshka]

people may not want to admit it, but online dating apps have actually been detrimental to Men's mental health
I really think dating apps have been horrible for society
If you found your spouse/significant other through a dating app, then I am happy for you, but the vast majority of people are miserable having to use it

[SirSmokeAlot]

Imagine not talking to a girl outside your family for 3 years and then you gotta talk to a girl on camera 😳

[sally]

I am a woman that feels that dating apps and social media are largely responsible for the loneliness and lack of connection in society today. I hope people start waking up, turning off the screen and actually embracing the real world again

[hem]

What I find a shame is that they define their lives by their inability to be with another person. Relying on another in order to specify significance as a person is damaging and scary

[ceooflonelinessinc.]

I am Incel too. At least by definition.

In 33 years of my life I never experienced any kind of romantic contact. I never had a hug, a date or a kiss and obviously no realationship. Getting chronically rejected and therefore living years or decades without any kind of romantic contact is something I wish not my worst enemies. It makes you mentally sick. It has totally brokek me. I am suffering from clinical depressionen, panic attacks and other mental issues due to that.

[imskar]

Don’t think it’s hard to talk to a woman, but coming off weird or awkward makes any interaction harder if your already “ugly.” Most women can sense that there’s something off.

[Booth]

I was an incel before the term even existed.

I was mercilessly bullied from elementary until High School, and i made what I thought were a circle of friends in college. It turned out that one of the girls in said circle thought I was stalking her, and they were making fun of me behind my back. I became a recluse, and lost trust in people outside of my family for a long time.

I’m 43 years old, autistic (not diagnosed until I was 28), and a recovering alcoholic who used to drink alone. However, I’ve not only sobered up, but I finally got out of retail a while back, and found a much better paying job. One where I’ve made some real friends among my coworkers. I’ve still never been in a relationship, but I don’t care about that anymore. If it happens, great. If not, it’s not a problem.

In my 20s, though, I was enraged over it. I wasted so much time arguing with people on the internet, to the point where it got me banned from my favorite forum at the time. I never said any of the garbage I’ve seen in this video, but I was so blinded by my anger, that i didn’t realize how I was coming off. No one wants to talk to someone who’s that big of an asshole.

I don’t condone any of the vile, sexist, or racist BS that I’ve seen on these Incel forums. Those posts make me even more angry than the kids who bullied me. Those idiots overshadow the rest of us, who are simply reaching out for understanding and compassion, in a world they feel has left them behind.

I just hope these young men find satisfaction in life a little sooner than I did.

[mylesbailey]

Male 29 years old. I have been rejected, flaked on and ghosted by every woman I have ever liked my entire life.

[Basedlocation]

1/3 men under 30 are virgins in a society where being a male virgin is unacceptable and the pressure is on, what did u think what would happen ??

[norbertbraun]

I am in the same situation.

In 33 years of my life I never experienced any kind of romantic contact. I never had a hug, a date or a kiss and obviously no realationship. Though I tired everything I can like asking women out, approaching them or using dating apps. Like Raymond I also tried to improve in the best way i can. I do sports, I have interests like playing Ukulel and over the years I went out on some adventures to get out of the comfort zone. But nothing worked. Not one single women ever considered me for nothing less than a date - and obviously anything beyond that.

It totally destroyed me mentally. I dont know what to do anymore.

[jayhughes]

They should've had men interview the incels...

[hildis]

i know a lot of women who havent had romantic / sexual relationships with men, and still they blame themselves not men for their situation, it's crazy to think women are the root cause of your problems, especially at such a young age, while being sad and depressed for not being a relationship is not new for any gender.
the violent thoughts they have is genuinely scary

[krishyket]

Usually, these guys have gone through something extremely traumatic or negative during school which have destroyed their worldview. I feel sorry for them. The current dating game and scene doesnt help either.