Dating women made me understand men

Since coming out as bisexual last year, I've been dating women! And though dating is its own special adventure already, oddly enough, one of my key takeaways from dating women has been that I understand men a bit more.

connect

shot & edited by Eric Lombart

produced by Reed Hedani

grip - Melissa Gasca, John Lee, Megan Pham

sound - John Lee

gfx by Bethany Radloff

[AnnaAkana]

One quick note on this. The line I said "the amount of kisses promised didn't equal the amount of kisses delivered" can be interpreted as problematic and I want to clarify that ANYONE HAS THE RIGHT TO REVOKE CONSENT AT ANY TIME. I just thought it was a funny thing to say, and was bummed that we didn't make out cause she was very pretty & intelligent. However I am not entitled to anyone's body, and they are free to not make out with my face if they don't want to anymore. In this specific situation, I think we were both merely afraid to make the first move, but want to clarify for those who may take it in the way it isn't intended to be: just a funny little line I thought of.

[TonyHalle]

The idea of two women going on a date and just staring at the check is lowkey hilarious 😂 almost as funny as her not paying when SHE asked YOU out 💀

[daaave]

Dating for women is like shopping, dating for men is like a job interview.

[bastylesmonde]

As a lesbian I agree with all the points. Plus - couple of girls told me they are straight right after the date, they just wanted to get a free meal😂

[The_g_string_lover]

To all women: it’s ok to approach guys and make the first move. It’s ok to be the initiator. We appreciate it.

[AliFrostinho]

Two men on a date.
Check arrives.

Pays double.

[thatguy]

Imagine what she will feel when she realizes the first time a man gets flowers is at his funeral.

[ForeverMasterless]

Hardest lesson I had to learn as a man is that if a woman is actually into you, you don't have to try. She'll go out of her way to make time to see you, she will text you maybe TOO much, she doesn't care if you pay for dinner or you go dutch or the two of you trade off every other date because she's just happy to be there with you. She doesn't have to be convinced and massaged and maneuvered into wanting sex, she just wants it, and will often even *gasp* initiate it herself rather than waiting for you to make a move.

The thing that makes it confusing is how many women there are in this world that aren't into guys but will lead them on, for whatever reason. Money, an ego boost, someone to vent to emotionally, etc. I think a lot of women also do this weird thing where they look at a guy "on paper" and say well he has such and such a job and background and he's perfect boyfriend material, but they don't feel a strong sexual desire or romantic feelings, so they keep dating him in the hopes that those feeling "develop over time, " which they NEVER do, meanwhile the guy knows after a couple dates if he's interested or not.

Best advice I could give any guy is that if you're not sure if she's interested in you or not, she's not. Toss her aside and move on as fast as possible.

[fili]

"I spend hours and money on preparing myself for you".

Don't women usually say "I'm prettying myself up for me, not for you"?

[BlueEyedAmerican]

I went on a date with this one girl and she stayed on her phone the whole time. So I finished my food quick, Went to the register paid for my half of the meal and left.

[zzxp]

lol girl that is just the demo wait for the full package with hits like :

- I cheated on you and it was your fault.
- I will be angry all the day and never tell you the reason.
- My best friend partner does (insert X) for her.
- I will give clear hints that im totally into you and the next day treat you as a total stranger.
And my favorite:
- I don't want to be with you but also don't want to see you with anyone else.

[athatcher]

I had a relationship that lasted like 3 weeks and I'm positive that the only reason she asked me out is because she didn't like the idea of being single on Valentines Day.

[michaelscarlata]

When you said guys should pay the bill because women spend a lot of money on makeup and getting ready, all I thought about is how men spend tons of money on nice cars so you'll be attracted, we buy flashy clothes, nice shoes, watches, hell we even get nice phones because girls aren't into guys with flip phones because it screams they don't have money. There are a ton of things men pay for so you'll go on the date to begin with. If you want us to pay the bill, it's gotta be a good excuse instead of "I put make up on, buy me stuff"

[Rmunkay]

Gotta be honest, both girls sitting on the couch talking for hours waiting for the other girl to make the first move is funny as hell.

[dabrams]

My suggestion for dating is plan something that you already want to spend your time doing and invite the people you're interested in to go with you. Think of it as hanging out with a friend but maybe you're interested and maybe they are too! Maybe not. Put zero pressure or expectations on either of you. Just repeat that process.

[riddell]

Whats stuck with me the most out of any relationship is what my last ex said was her reason for breaking up.

She said "You are just too stable". That one statement has literaly destroyed any desire to put myself out there again. I just cant understand what that even means.

[simpboi]

So you’re telling me to date dudes too for me to understand women?

[Bloodyshinta]

Women: "I dress like this for myself, not for the attention it gets me from men"

Also Women: "I put all this effort into looking nice for you so you have to pay for the date"

Also Also Women: "You can't have any expectations about where the date will lead physically, but I have expectations about who will pay for the date"

[PixelShade]

For someone who has never "dated" in my life (I live in Sweden, so I guess the culture difference is massive)... I feel like "dating" in itself is quite unnatural to humans. It's like a social game/experiment which is mostly about decipher other person's expectations in a socially constructed environment. Personally I have never felt alienated towards women. I can be friends with women without sexuality being a part of the relationship. So what has happened for me is that you socially meet people throughout life. If you like one another you start hanging out like you would any friend (without the expectation of dating) and if there's a spark or interest between both parties, there's a pretty obvious tension in the air and when this happens it naturally leads to a first step and the start of a relationship... No restaurants, no flowers, no chocolate or any socially constructed ways to go about it. Instead we are just humans in our natural state, falling in love with one another. In the US I feel like there's a huge barrier between men and women, which makes natural interactions between the people of opposite sex sexual in its nature. Here I have no issue with my partner visiting a male friend, and my partner never have any trouble with me visiting a female friend... there is a natural trust and understanding that we are exclusive, and that interacting with the opposite sex doesn't have to be sexual.

[StuartHetzler]

"I spent all this money buying things for myself, so you should pay for my meal, too"

classic