What Causes Limerence? First Stage Of Limerence Explained By Marriage Experts

According to research, there are three distinct stages of limerence.
Stage one of Limerence is Infatuation - a longing for your emotional connection to be reciprocated.

What was once a close friendship can quickly evolve into something much more and supplants your spouse for emotional and even sexual needs. Join Dr. Joe Beam and Kimberly Beam Holmes as they take you through some of the signs to look for to determine if your spouse is in limerence and how to handle what comes next.

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We exercise compassion and understanding to all couples and individuals we meet. We know no one is perfect, and people make mistakes. The best thing you can do is become better for yourself and the people who care.

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[BoldLadyLion]

Yes... thank you for sharing the warning at the begining. I did get excited and share with my husband and they are absolutely right. It caused my husband to dig his heels in harder. Limerence caused a very logical man to become an emotional man. Willing to destroy everything we built together, rewrote our (very) romantic love story and has now made me his enemy 😑

[PJHEATERMAN]

My wife cheated on me 20 years ago and while i stayed with her i never got any answers as to the truth and why it happened. It has caused me some PTSD to this day and today on this date i found the answers without my wife's help. It was Limerence. The trauma i experienced as a non cheater, /victim was very painful on an emotional level. Would love to hear more on the coping of the spouse who has been cheated on.

[George-Aguilar]

This information is helpful to know. In the end, work on yourself and build a healthy lifestyle alone is my answer

[deborahrouse]

I just HATE that they say their nasty "affair" partner "understands" them!
That was always a joke in old movies; "My wife doesn't UNDERSTAND me" said in a nauseatingly whiny voice!

[terrycraig]

Very interesting information.thank you for this

[badriakhavan]

My husband is expert in making emotional affairs with women...I am tired of wanting him back ...I have let him free..I will be in this marriage till my sons get married . I am taking care of myself in this way . Thanks for your advice..

[india]

It all has to do with fantasy and availability. Than the unsaid. That’s why being married or the stages of falling in love isn’t limerance. It might be in beginning but once the person isn’t the forbidden fruit. When the person is the forbidden fruit that your mind has built up as perfection is limerence. I’ve never been in it but from listening all I can surmise.

[melodykubiak]

Is there something people can do to prevent limerence from beginning? Is it as simple as guarding our thoughts in an effort to not become obsessed? Can it happen to healthy, happy marriages?

[MsTopley]

How do you know people are not simply falling in love? Some people should not be married to each other? Genuine question

[jerryanddiannedennison]

Does the limerence affair cause the dissatisfaction with the spouse? I think that is what I hear from them. That would account for the fact that I am human in our marriage and are not guilty of the things that have been used to justify the infidelity? I am trying to be honest with myself and make sure that I am not guilty of those things of which I have been accused. ??? Anyone?

[sandiebeach]

So I’ve been in communication with his other women, she spoken badly about my husband, but yet she keeps talking to him. They work together. I’ve told him the things she has said, but they are still in communication. I have also found out from her that he’s been in communication with other women behind her back, well mine as well. But she still won’t leave him alone or vise versa. Why?

[lookingpeace]

What if you never felt limerence with your partner. I love my fiancé’ very much but never had that limerence feeling for him. He is physically attracted to me but I have never really felt that with him. I am very attracted to him intellectually, emotionally and spiritually. Is that enough for a happy marriage????

[reemarymmai]

How long does a one sided limerence last?

[TC-usmu]

I did track them with their phone for a while and they found out. And as you said it has since been about that rather than their actions.
They use that as a reason to make me the villain and as an excuse to continue into limerence.

What can I do now?

[mscarol]

It would be interesting to know just how many spouses actually react as Dr. Beam suggests. I suspect next to none.

[finalyfreeworld]

Does limerence happen only in marriage relationships?

[hightechredneck_]

What I don't understand is the limerence "when single and falling in love with someone and then marries them until death do us part", and "affair limerence."

I understand one is morally wrong while the other isn't, but seems like the conversation is always about people already married. Just because you're married doesn't make the affair limerence any less real does it!? Besides it being wrong because it's immoral, it's no difference than being single > limerence > living happily ever after. And this was the hardest thing for me because I thought, if I just would have met them earlier, I'd be with who I should have been, for life.