Get Too Obsessed When You Like Someone? WATCH THIS! | Matthew Hussey

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We’ve all done it. We start to like someone and suddenly we’ve built a whole narrative around what our future could look like with them. They feel like a rare antidote we’ve stumbled across that will take us out of being single and into the relationship we so badly want.

The issue is, in the process of doing this, we rob ourselves of the ability to enjoy the experience—too stuck in our heads to be in the moment.

We also run the risk of self-sabotaging as we try to see danger where there isn’t any.

In this brand-new video, I share an easy and grounding phrase you can use RIGHT NOW to calm yourself down if you find yourself in this situation.

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[basicbase]

People with inner child issues get obsessed too quick! It’s their inner child trying to attach to a rare found attention-giving figure because the inner child is so deprived of love/attention, they cling. Always remind yourself, you won’t hand over your inner child self to another person so quickly, it’s your child(your child self), take care of it yourself.

[HerLoveJourneyy]

First, we need to understand why we are obsessed in the first place. We experience some kind of joy or highs with a person which forms strong connections in our brain. Our brain doesn’t like being sad or depressed at all. It likes those highs and misses them. “Its not the person but the feelings we crave.” We don’t have that chemistry with that person for a reason and we know it. But that person set a benchmark of highs we have had. It is natural for our brain to miss and want those highs. And that is why, despite all the negative experiences with that person, we still miss the beautiful memories we had. We move on when we meet a new person and experience greater joys or highs in life. Then we really don’t miss the past joys as they become insignificant with respect to the new benchmark. Now, this greater joy or high doesn’t have to necessarily be with a person. It can be something else - like any achievement that makes you happier. If not achievement then your progress on your path. For that, we need to focus on our goals and make a conscious effort to feel better. Working out is an add on and scientifically proved to improve mood. We should also spend time with our old friends and indulge in hobbies to feel better. Most importantly, we should think rationally about that person and remember the bad experiences - not to hate him/her but to get over him/her. Hope it helps.

[babysab]

Since I used daydreaming as a form of escapism from the reality of my childhood, most of my dating life has been spent in my head instead of actual relationships, so I appreciate this topic being discussed. It's a wonderful thing to be self aware and work on yourself

[thomad]

Abandon all EXPECTATIONS...just have fun, and see what happens

[TheUltimateBreakupCoach]

And this is how anxious attachments occur … you could be quite secure within yourself. Meet somebody that you really like and all of a sudden they might pull away slightly in your mind and then you get super anxious and then you become super needy. They then become avoidant because they’re panicking and you become super anxious!!
When you first meet somebody always remember they are turning up as the best version of themselves just as you are are … it takes time to get to know somebody so really try to pull yourself back and take it day by day and get to know the person for who they really are … ❤

[justinstoddard]

“We’ll see” immediately made me calm down

[MsCatalicious]

This is my weakest point when it comes to relationships. I idealise so dam quickly! It makes me illogical and vulnerable. I hate it!

[fabs]

After been on many dates with several people, I know now that I’ve finally managed this. I just enjoy every date to the most, I try my best to be myself and I NEVER expect anything from the other person as I understand is way too early for them to actually know if they really liked me . We can’t expect a man to live up to our imagination. Stop expecting a man to behave as a boyfriend when they just literally met you 1 month ago🤷🏻‍♀️

[biondna]

Huge issue, for me. "Limerence, " I've learned to call it: obsession, or infatuation, when one conjures up an entire person and relationship out of ONE meeting. Then you scare the crap out of the person you're attracted to, and drive them off. You THINK you might grow out of it. I'm finding out, at re-entering the single world, that without conscious efforts to stay rational, I slide right back into it. In my case it comes from people-pleasing in my childhood, which backfires horribly when one is an adult who needs self respect. Thanks for bringing it up.

[RAE-homely-fairy-of-the-light]

So true, that obsession and crush thing makes us batt shit crazy 🤪 it's that addictive dopamine rush we latch onto and it can be dangerous! We must calm ourselves, give it time and focus on our own stuff amidst the emotional excitement....better to think 'will see', thanks Matthew Hussey!!!

[philbrutsche]

Matt, I'm a guy and everything you have said in this video applies to us just as much as it does to women.

[themasterspiece]

I needed this. This is so true. I started laughing so hard when you said the friends hype them up like they just got engaged that was hilarious😂😂😂😂

[KingRandor]

I confess especially right now this IS VERY difficult for me to do; either I'm emotionally invested, or I'm not. Probably a good thing I'm not really doing any shopping at this time.

[prithvibumia]

Used to be obsessed with one of my closest friend. Was into her for a couple years. Later found out she kind of liked me too.
All of a sudden all that potential energy that had built up in my mind, the unreal ideology of spending a future with her, all that came flooding in. Having these projections really made me anxious of losing her. Something that wasn't even real, was completely made up in my mind is what was stressing me.
I started having expectations from her in a way that she could fill up those ideologies in mind. Dont get me wrong, I made her feel very special, like a Queen so I did deserve the best. However those expectations brought out a needy, constantly worrying, insecure basically an ugly side in me.
She had just started liking me but the projections I had built up after liking her for years made it all 100% complex. She simply couldn't keep up and I was pacing trying to chase that " future with her" which was uncertain.
All we ended up doing was fighting.
Needless to say we had to end it.
I don't have any ill feelings towards her.
But it sucks to lose my closest friend.

[meredithbarrett]

This is seriously the most helpful dating video I’ve watched because I’m so guilty of fantasies, projections and filling in of gaps. You teach how to level the playing field by the concept of someone investing in us and a healthy level of give and take, most importantly in a way that’s self-loving. Thanks for relieving all the unnecessary stress and anxiety I’ve been putting on myself for years. You have such a knack for getting in people’s heads! Love you and your videos Matthew❤ I signed up!!!

[mrpopo]

That was me with this girl 3 months ago. Once things started moving along, I got too obsessed and attached too fast which ended up me being hurt a lot when we had to end it

[moneyearn]

You just me saved from ruining my last 10 days of college from obsessing over a girl doesn't have high interest in me, i am just imagining a marriage with this girl, thank you my brother

[JuliettaRabens]

I know this obsession feeling is terribly painful, but it's also refreshing in a world that can leave a person misanthropic. It feels good to know that even though it is painful and not always optimal, people can still think and act like puppies.

[sarahjoon]

I genuinely realised a few months back that I had put myself through this downgrade procedure! I've been dating someone for a month and, first and foremost, I don't talk about it much with my friends because I'm not sure yet.
Second, I tell myself that this is a dating situation, and I should not be obsessed with him or anyone else.
And it actually worked.
Now what mattered is that I learned to control my mind and emotions.

[humblydedicated]

The phrase: "We'll See", lasts a life time...for you will never know if the love you gained, would last your lifetime (until death)...so...it puts you back at square one: regarding one's fear and anxiety