When Parents are Absent or Neglectful, They Send a Message to Their Child That They Don't Matter

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Children form core beliefs about how valuable they are based on how their parents treat them. If parents are too busy, never home, or inattentive, a child starts to believe they do not matter. As adults these beliefs may sound like:

• I'll never be good enough.
• I'm a bad person.
• Nobody likes me.
• I'm not worthy of love.

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[MaritimesinCowtwn]

I didn't realize you knew my parents! 😂 ❤

[MonnaRooney]

Some of us have walked around with this mindset for years...decades before enlightenment.

[KatArt]

Well, explains why I had low self esteem, an eating disorder, and depression as a teenager.

[Greenpeppersandeggs]

Thank you Tim. With your videos help, I’ve realized so much. For example: I got made fun of A LOT in school, then later in life by my boyfriends. The other day my Dad made fun of me quite harshly and my Mom stuck up for him saying I was overreacting. I’m 43 and just realizing I can choose to not be around people who seem to not like my presence anyway (but guilt me into being around them). It’s day two of realizing and appreciating this.

[BrianKlumker]

Never emotionally available and delight greatly in the making fun of you

[Pkudkar]

They alway make fun of others in hurtful way...sarcastically...which is very hurting...this is because they want to show their superiority.A sign of inferiority complex.

[nicolehayes]

Thank you Tim! Makes 1000% sense after trying to figure out what I did wrong in the past 4-5 decades…answer is, NOT A DAMN THING! IT WAS DEE AND ART SMDH🤦🏻‍♀️

[sarahjmount]

Tim’s right on point again. Thank you, Tim! ❤

[JF]

The newspaper was more important than 3 boys to my dad. Hours and hours and hours and hours in the paper. I will never be like my dad, EVER.

[lisah]

It was always "shut up the tv's on!" tv was more important.
it would have been nice that after the show ended they come up and say "hey, what was it u wanted to tell me hun?" but that never happened....never in their big adult brains did they care to remember.

[skinnyway]

I never felt like it was my fault. I knew it wasnt. I just never understood why I could never get approval for having done as I was told to do.

[jodycrawford]

They didn't protect me and I have no one to help me or protect me. I'm so scared.

[staceybruce]

It's not just as a child...it's also a teen, a young adult, or full grown adult. If a person is treated dismissively by a loved one it causes any normal person to feel it's their fault or feel low.

[MysticalDyl]

It’s like they literally feed off negative emotions. Some people find peace when everything is happy or atleast calm and no judgment. But others are the complete polar opposite.

She even tried to make fun of my stepdad after cheating on him. Never her fault, everyone else is the problem.

[cloudmountaindog]

If the child sees that a lot of other parents don’t behave in shite ways, the child may conclude that the stork just dropped them in a crappy family and they need to get away from it as much as possible. I remember being disappointed and sad every time I had to go home.

[erik_]

Look, after 40 years, my dad gave me my first compliment. Man, that was great. But it was also my last compliment from him.

[ladyjediD]

I remember heading out to school weekly in tears and wanting to die because mom was always screaming and angry at me for just about everything. If I had taken my life at that young tween/teen age, it would have been my fault still.

[mnoxman]

Gee... you mean I can be something more than an entry in the "expense" column? (NB: Sarcasam)

[astrotrain]

Children are designed this way with the assumption being that humans would love their children and always be moral and supportive.

What an abysmal design flaw... if only the dev team had the foresight to predict how terrible SOME parents can be.

[Colt]

This is how I got my traumatic brain injury when I was a child. Happened at night.
No one was watching me (as usual)
So I'm handicapped for life.