TOXIC POSITIVITY Is NOT What You Think It Is

Nobody wants to be told when they are struggling, "Just be happy." "Look on the bright side." Or, "Stay positive."

It doesn't help, it doesn't work, and it's infuriating. This is what most people refer to as toxic positivity. But there is something deeper about toxic positivity.

In today's YouTube video, I share what's at the heart of toxic positivity, I discuss ways to respond to toxic positivity, and I share a more effective way to heal from hardship and to help others heal as well.
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[Loveisallaroundus-ck]

Very often people look to 'fix' others because they cannot deal with their own traumas, issues, emotions etc 😔

[gsilviaeiro]

Feelings are the core of us ! They are our truth! Because of societal conventions we learn to repress, suppress and ignore them thinking we are walking the path of survival, only to understand later that we’re just numbing our true selves, the essence of our soul …
Yours are words of wisdom! Love them! Thank you!🙏❤️

[sabinamock]

Great topic. Sometimes hard to avoid people that practice "toxic positivity". Thank you for sharing.

[sarahboyce]

You provide me with truth and with the confirmation of ongoing hope during this ever evolving life. With warm regards and with much gratitude Todd.

[jennifermonk]

It is vital we don’t bury feelings and have space to process but let’s not label it with something that can be misconstrued.
The issue here is the fake it til you make it idea. But I can tell you, it actually helped me. Of course it was survival mode but then I chose to give space for my feeling when I was alone, by myself so I could get it all out in my own private way.
I know in my life no one wanted to be around someone who struggles.

So what this looked like for me was not toxic positivity but more like temporary positivity to keep me moving forward in life past the being made fun of, past the cruelty of others through my school years where let’s face it kids can be tough. Through my initial family years of growing up with four brothers and there being so much chaos I’d retreat to my closet, bedroom. Where I value my alone time so much because it is the space I hold to deal with the outside world by going inward.

And these days, I have dropped the mask and have true peace and contentment no matter what is going on around me.
That doesn’t mean I’m not doing my shadow work, it doesn’t mean I’m not getting through it and healing as I go. It doesn’t mean I am fake.

It means I am authentic in knowing that I create my own world, thoughts are things and energy set in motion stays in motion. So rather than projecting my feelings on others and creating chaos, I choose to live happily and when I have a bad day or difficult feelings come up, I chose to have alone time in my own sacred space and time to process.
Meanwhile I work on my personal development. I listen to videos like this, I am a part of award winning personal development study with courses that have helped me transform my life. I am practicing ancient practices like yoga, thi qi, qi gong and getting cardio work in.
I also learn from other masters and do not mind getting blasted with positivity.

This is not fake positivity I express, nor is it ever detrimental to exude positivity.
I know what your saying here is no one wants to see the silver lining in the thick of the darkness like it’s being forced, but gentle compassionate letting someone know you are there for them can be better than saying pull up your bootstraps.

Practice of positivity, finding the one thing we are grateful for can keep us from the edge until we can process emotions and grow stronger each time we choose it.
This brings up much needed conversation, thank you Todd.

[mritzs]

Depok Choppra in his early works said Once you say "be positive"you created the "negative. "Thank you, Todd. Thank you for exposing this nonsense many people ascribe to!

[enough]

You must notice, that I am closed up. I am in Guatemala, on a personal mission. My gifts vanished. I chose to let go, you can imagine why. I am sitting at the airport trying to go to the USA, my grandson is in crisis, auto accident, road rage, US rage!
I got the news at a cafe yesterday and a painful scream just came out of my as I heard the details!
The waiter, was comforting and got me fresh water. I composed myself and this FABULOUS WOMAN POURED her positive picker upper charm all over me………
Oh dear, thank yo for the timely words…….balance we need balance…tenderness, we lack empathy, Todd, we really lack empathy as a people!!!

[DudGolfer]

Thank you Todd, I take great comfort in your words……you have authentic energy that’s resonates

[bradleyastonbedifferentbew]

Just found your page, I love how you are content with the present moment, much respect

[jopshua]

I was unhealthily optimistic about my uncertain future after I lost two fingers in a work accident. Once I finally realized it was okay to not be okay with it, to be unhappy with who I had unwillingly become, and embrace the challenges I was going to face going forward, I began to be truly positive about my life and the beauty of confronting struggle I was going to endure for the rest of my life.

[dixiehauenstein]

Thank you Todd❣️Such wise words. 💕 You simplify so much of my confusion SO well.💝

[kevinmasterson]

OMG. You nailed it so well. Thank you.

[katieprinsloo]

Thank you. I needed this on this bright Monday morning.

[mtnshelby]

Thank you. ❤ I fortunately am in a place to evade and avoid these types in my own life but many cannot.

[lisagail]

I so related to this video, I am very uncomfortable around people that are too positive, it just doesn't feel balanced to me and I am not like that and end up feeling more depressed thinking something's wrong with me. So thank you for this video. Also I'm glad I checked because I was unsubscribed and I did subscribe. Not sure what happened ❤

[Klankzang]

Thank you 🙏
Sara from the Netherlands
🙌✨❤️

[LFC_since]

I hate the Cult of Positivity… those that tell you to cheer up, be grateful, be thankful, it could be worse, just go for a run, just do this, just don’t do that, trust the universe and it will all be ok…

[demelza]

Toxic positivity is just another catch cry that now has a big following. I do find the concept annoying, like a 10 second tik tok video out of context. It depends where someone is on their life journey, as to how some well meaning advice might be received. There may be a nugget of help for someone going through hardship that they may not have thought of themselves. If someone is "stuck" in their suffering and actually causing their own suffering by over thinking, ego, misperceptions and self destructive behaviour sometimes a reality check is needed.