Leave Toxic Positivity at Church | Belief It Or Not

Christians say that they are the only ones who know true happiness.

Are they actually happy? Can former believers be happy?

Created by Trevor Poelman

Special thanks to the Better Internet Initiative

Watch More Belief It Or Not:

Follow Belief It Or Not:

[jaynajuly]

My Christian mother visited me last week and went on and on about how "most people seek happiness but *I* seek joy" - and then proceeded to gripe and moan about service at a restaurant

[Aigul]

Extremely wealthy man explains how his joy doesn't come from his physical circumstances.

[xerofelix]

I frankly believe it's ok to sit with your sadness, your anger, and your suffering. Just don't build a house there. Pain is a message that your body is injured. Sadness, anger, and other negative emotions are the same. Give yourself time to heal.

[juanvasquez]

One of my favorite Facebook groups is called “It’s never your successful friends posting the inspirational quotes”

[archieg]

I just hate that all these people are being duped so hard. It's like "Be grateful if you have your bare necessities met. Now you can afford to put a lil more in the basket this time."

[Cocreatewithus]

After my divorce, years ago, i had to keep telling my aunt that life isnt always peaches and cream. I had left the church, my husband had left me and took my kids and my home, leaving me with literally nothing. And here was my aunt trying to be wayyyy too positive. Ugh. "I'll be your shoulder to cry on" is a lot better than "look on the bright side", and "be grateful".

[Nikea_Aesha]

This is so relatable. My sister was killed in a domestic violence incident. For her eulogy, the preacher’s subject was “It’s All Good, ” and he quoted the “all things work together…” scripture. I was so angry.

[flowingafterglow]

"It's like they've never seen the movie Inside Out."

Mic drop, pretty much the whole video.

[impishmisconception]

I was the most depressed when I was a Christian because I am Autistic and I was constantly told by Church people that if I had enough faith I wouldn't be Autistic and that I should give my Autism to god. I was also told by Church people many times that as a woman it was my duty to get married someday and have children and they told me that no one loves or marries a disabled person. I remember when I was a Christian praying so many times for god to forgive me for existing because I never felt good enough. I was suicidal for a long time as a Christian because I just couldn't be what I thought god wanted me to be... I am so glad that I don't believe in any of that bullshit anymore. I am much happier now, I still have days (and even weeks on end) where I have bouts of depression but at least now I don't have to think about some deity judging me for not being happy all of the time.

[guylarcher]

I cant remember one bible verse suggesting Jesus' joy or happiness. I do remember him weeping, being angry, suffering.

[amtm]

Guy who yelled "YEAH!" after "that's why you're fingers aren't blue" is definitely *not* fighting circulation issues right now and certainly *wouldn't* be embarrassed if he were

[turtlezen]

Ironically Marge's speech to Lisa always makes me tear up. That's one of my favorite moments. I've always tried to validate kid's feelings and I think its because of Mr. Rogers and Marge Simpson.

[sociallysatanic]

"he doesn't want all your time, but he does want you to be thinking about him and praying to him constantly" sir please define 'constantly' and 'all' and 'time' for me 😂

[jaehenlee]

Trevor thank you for being an ally to women. And to queer people too. I hate when people use the effeminate voice as an insult and I wanted to thank you for calling him out on that

[DavidRichardson]

I remember one of these toxic positive preachers trying to do their "thing" at the university I was attending at the time. His entire shtick was making me feel sick, and I wanted to speak out. For good or bad (I'm leaning towards "good" in this case, mainly because I was a much worse speaker back then), someone else beat me to it. When the preacher said "Be thankful to God for letting you be here, " someone - I never saw who it was, but this someone sounded male to me - asked loudly (not shouting, mind you), "Why should I?" That caught the preacher off-guard, and this someone did not give the preacher any opening. The words he said are forever burned into my memory:

"You're telling me that I should thank God for _not_ striking me down and killing me in any of the *_MILLIONS_* of ways available to him? That I should be glad that God chose to not suddenly stop my heart and have me fall down dead... just because his whim said so? That makes me God's hostage. Why the hell should I be grateful to someone who, for all intents and purposes, has planned out my murder, and I can never know when he is going to carry it out? Screw you and your Stockholm Syndrome. Someone needs to arrest God and drag him to trial before throwing him in whatever the divine supermax is - and ideally, *_NOW."_*

Hearing those words was more cathartic than I could have imagined. That was my "But I feel like it" Lisa moment. A part of me wishes I could have said it then, but knowing that I was not the only one who felt that way (and frankly, he probably put it much better than I would have then) has been enough.

[scottmoore]

"Focus on your blessings, not your problems."

9 times out of 10 said by someone with overwhelmingly more blessings than problems to someone with overwhelmingly more problems than blessings, and they say it not because they actually think the person they're talking to has so much to be grateful for, but because if they can get that person to shut up about their problems, that'll make it so much easier for people that came into this world with all the blessings to ignore those people's problems.

[Lenci_of_Hazelnut]

I've said for years now that I want a shirt that says "choose rage" in a frilly cursive font, so I'm ready for this video

[Hexsmasher]

Here's a quote from The Boondocks that clearly serves as some advice on how can we do to improve the world without toxic positivity

_"What do you do when you can’t do nothing, but there’s nothing you can do? You do what you can.”_

[joshuakeller]

Dude! my customer service PTSD is going off! Spent most of my adult life working in bars and restaurants. If you don't vent hard regularly, you will BLOW the FUCK UP on customers.

[clawedjava]

"Just don't die"
Thanks pastor furtick, I'll tell that to my relative whose having open heart surgery today and has a low chance of surviving.
God the ignorance to make a joke like that to an entire room of ppl u don't know the circumstances of.