Neurodivergency & learning to set boundaries

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[m.ophie.a]

So instead of saying 'please don't be more than 20 minutes late' say 'I can wait 20 minutes for you but after that I need to leave'. That's actually a very useful mindset. It feels empowering and less whiny.

[JoannaSternbergYoutube]

WOW. I have NEVER felt so validated. THANK YOU SO SO SO MUCH! I am going to send this video to everyone in my life that I am close with.

[alexadellastella]

very useful video! thanks! and the very difficult part I feel is when we face a non honest or covert manipulative person who speaks nicely but it's all word salad and passive agressive or blame shifting and in the moment for example I am not able to understand what is going on! even though I have read extensively about this type of personnality. But I feel that my autistic part is so hyper focused on the words used and analysing, I do not question the words and simply cannot do it in the moment. Since I am very intuitive too and sensitive, Iusually feel strongly that something is off or doesn't match or make sense but I tend to doubt myself and feel a lot of anger after the interaction.... and I struggle afterwards cos my brain afterwards (sometimes days of processing) recognises there is manipulation but even though I see it, I do not know then how to set my boundaries with a manipulative person, it is just too much for me to think of in the moment of the interaction, i feel very vulnerable actually. Already for normal interactions I make efforts so if something is not honest in the relation, I feel a lot of fear about that actually and I'm wondering if you have tips for ausitic people dealing with manipulative (especially covert!) or even narcissistic people, in a situation we cannot escape like with a doctor, administration or at work. Cos otherwise even with a family memeber, personally I cut contact cos I have not much energy, I cannot afford myself to spend it on unhealthy relationships (which is also why I am very lonely). Anyway thank you so much for what you do! I admire you talent to explain things so well! Hopefully one day I can too :) thanks

[TheRawChuck]

I have so much trouble recognizing my own necessary boundaries. I've been told all my life that I have to make all of the effort in socializing and that my own needs are unreasonable. I'm an old man now and I don't know if I can set more boundaries than I already have. My wife, who has ADHD is very bad at respecting my boundaries and I think she just forgets them. There's also the chance that she knowing blows right through some of them and actually does remember some of them but she doesn't care enough to to stop and consider me. I'm not asking for special consideration for this, that's just life.

[TheINFP_Diary]

Love your videos hun <3 I'm getting evaluated soon and couldn't be more relieved and anxious at the same time

[jadegaviolli]

i needed this, thank you so much, lots of love from Brazil 🇧🇷 ❤

[lararic]

Je voulais te dire un grand Merci pour ta chaîne ! Tes vidéos m'ont beaucoup aidé et sont très claires. Je suis diagnostiquée HP mais celles sur l'autisme me parlent également énormément... 🙏🙏

[LurkingLinnet]

You're looking so radiant here... beautiful❤

[alexadellastella]

I also have a question when setting a boundary cos a person said somehting which make us feel bad and we would like this person not to repeat it cos it feels hurtful. Cos in that case to a certain extent we are asking the person not to say something so it's an indirect form of control, isn't it? even though the purpose is self respect in that case and not control of course! But it happened to me that the person in front replied that she was hurt that I was hurt and would interpret her words this way.... which made my brain froze actually.... I realised in the end that she would not take any responsibility but I feel it is tricky to set a boundary when it is about what the person says and not about what she or what we do or do not do. (in my case it was about the way the person was talking about my chronic illness just to share the subject I was dealing with here) thanks so much, your videos are so helpful!

[kayos]

What happens when they keep pushing because it was phrased so gently?

[AnniePharm]

What if its children? Im staying at my aunts and she has a 7 year old kid whos always really breaking my boundaries. For example, touching me, getting in my stuff, peeping and trying to touch my laptop while i work, along with him shouting very loudly, or walking around my room naked. I dont want to sound mean or upset my aunt because shes very nice to me but this is draining me out so much sometimes I pretend i sleep until 2 pm so that i dont need to get out of my room and interact with him at all. Please help. 😢