How to Deal With Negative People

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ABOUT BRENDON
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Brendon Burchard is the world’s leading high performance coach, a 3-time New York Times bestselling author, and one of the most-watched, quoted, and followed personal development trainers in history. SUCCESS Magazine and O, The Oprah Magazine, have both named him one of the most influential leaders in personal growth and achievement. Forbes named him the world’s leading high performance coach and Larry King named him the world’s top motivational trainer.

A #1 New York Times, #1 Wall Street Journal, and #1 USA Today bestselling author, Brendon’s books include High Performance Habits, The Motivation Manifesto, The Charge, The Millionaire Messenger and Life’s Golden Ticket. His most recent book, High Performance Habits: How Extraordinary People Become That Way, was a multiple week Wall Street Journal bestseller, and Amazon editors named it one of the “Top 3 Best Business & Leadership Books.”

Brendon is also the executive producer and star of MOTIVATION WITH BRENDON BURCHARD on Apple Podcasts, which debuted at #1 across all categories in its first season. It was a Top 10 Self-Help podcast for over 100 weeks, and after 5 years continues to be a chart-topping health podcast.

[kadclem]

This is a life skill i am determined to master. My environment is so negative sometimes, i feel like i have to reprogram my mind out of all the negative conditioning it's had over the years. Great video, really needed to hear this

[Mina]

This couldn't have came at a better time. But the thing with empathising is this negative person in my life is negative 24/7. There's not a day were they don't complain. I've tried empathising and understanding them but you can only help those who want to be helped.

[ethanwakeman]

Every positive person needs to hear this

[beans]

“ Use that challenge as your own character development “ yes!

[AmandahBlackwell]

It's true that your family, co-workers, etc. may be negative. And yes, empathy and compassion go a long way. However, if certain people are chronically negative you have to ask yourself if you want to do be around them all of the time. How does this serve you? What are you getting out of it? Are you addicted to drama?

Let's look at this further using co-workers as an example. These are people who are most likely not showing up (unless you're good friends with them) to your holiday dinners, weddings, BBQs, etc. Don't get sucked into their drama. Send them lots of love and wish them well. You can try to help them shift their energy as was suggested, but keep in mind that everyone has FREE WILL. They may not be open to change.

If you're married to someone who's negative all of the time, you may want to ask yourself what you're getting out of the relationship. You may want to also ask how you may be contributing to the negativity. Maybe you expect too much. Perhaps you don't say "I love you" enough. Maybe your partner feels you take him/her for granted. You need to communicate and get to the bottom of the issue. Relationships aren't one sided.

If you are rude or have a bad day, be aware of your reaction and 'check' yourself to find out 'why'. It's easy to blame others, i.e., someone cut you off in traffic. However, when you go deep and get to the 'root' of why you reacted, you may discover that you're unhappy with your life. Maybe you're ready to move on from a relationship and don't know how to do it. Perhaps you're ready to move away and your family is trying to talk you out of it. Get to the bottom of what's bugging you.

A little emotional maturity can go a long way. But you have to be ready to take responsibility for your life and recognize that you do have control over how you react to situations, the words you speak, the thoughts you think, etc.

P.S. Keep in mind that some people may not be open to playing a game of trying to attend to their energy. Listen to your gut instinct on this one. Don't force people to do something they don't want to do.

[baywest]

Powerful the dark side is. Easy it is to fall into its grip. Difficult it is and effort it takes to get up from the shadows and stand in the light. Worth it it is to find balance in love and understanding. Wise Brendon is. Listen to him we must.

[thisisbob]

I'm surrounded by negative people at work. I put on my headphones and try ignore them.

[Shaolinthemple]

I was around negativity at work. My manager was the most emotionally unstable person. She would yell and scream and talk badly about others. In an otherwise professional environment, she certainly didn't fit the company culture. Nonetheless, I was miserable every day. I decided to leave after 7 months. I never left a company earlier than 4 years. My longest tenure was 9 years. I never had issues working with others until them. It's not always about sympathizing. Some people are just negative. Good video though.

[Carnation]

I listen to this every week just as a reminder so I can be a better coworker! Too much negativity at work and it has a tendency to suck me in if I'm not mindful of my purpose! Thanks for a great way to start the day!!

[isaacnegrete]

Hi Brendon, I'm Isaac and I'm 16 yrs old from California. I found you on YouTube and fell in love with your messages😁. I recently bought the motivation manifesto and the charge and they have opened my eyes to new understandings. Keep doing what your doing😁👍hope all is well

[JMBBproject]

Be Kind; Everyone You Meet is Fighting a Hard Battle - Plato

A rule to live with. Makes you so much more compassionate.

[larasmith]

🦋Amen, be a ray of sunshine in the negativity - given it brings me joy to know my joy irritates the negative

[davefischer]

Use their energy, so good. Stay present and use it. You don't know what they are going through. Always observe and understand the other person's point of view. I think the really negative people that we run into are people that are just lost and don't know there way. Always take a step back and spread positive energy. Most of the time things are really not as bad as they seem. Perhaps we make things harder than they really are. I love when he says to use it to develop something as your strengths, and allows you to serve people =) so great

[dannydiesendorf]

Important to tell the difference between negative people and abusive people. Compassion and curiosity are useful with negative folks but abusive people are best avoided or their power over others limited, called-out and challenged.

[oh]

Brendon, this came at a perfect time :) I didn't want to discard my friend, and just asked her to leave me out of the negative talk. Thinking about asking her was he hardest part! She was understanding and accepting of my request. Thanks! Gave me goosebumps. :)

[transformyourlife.]

I always try to remember that I dont know what has happened in their day or their life and perhaps they have reason to feel that way but that doesnt mean that I allow their attitude to affect my day. But sometimes understanding is the first step to changing something.

[nevcbear]

Wow! In a culture where we have learned to "write off" or "get rid of" people we disagree with, this message is so refreshing! Thank you for being an instrument of love and peace.

[Beencouraged]

I have an enormous amount of empathy compassion and I am extremely kind person have put up with negative people who do not want to change and it did nothing but drain me as a result I have learned simply not to deal with negative people who are unwilling to put in work to change and I'm finding very few are willing to do so I don't care anymore it's about self-preservation that may sound selfish but to bad I'll help those who want to help themselves bottom line.

[beemtem]

I live with negative people who are always ready to provoke me with really hurtful words but I don't respond a single word to them and this makes me empowering

[burneychoo]

Something different from things I learned from self-development book. It’s refreshing and practical. For a while, I was so discouraged, as my better half constantly bombard me with how things are going to go wrong and how life sucks. At least now I have an idea other than the standard “get rid of negative people” answer.