Doctors, What Did You Have to Explain to Dumb Patients?

▶ Fresh AskReddit Stories: Doctors, What Is Your "Why Do I Have To Tell An Adult This" Story? (r/AskReddit) 🔥 2nd channel with exclusive Reddit stories!

[ethribin]

"When i take my glasses of things are blurry."
I think I just lost half my braincells...
Dont you, as a glasses wearing person, know what glasses do?!?!

[luisgentil]

The story about the guy who believed someone crapped his pants reminded me of a story.

Big sister's friend worked at a gas cylinder store that used to be open overnight. One Saturday night sister and friend were hanging out at our house when friend gets a call from colleages on shift, telling her they needed help because a police car stopped by and the cops were harassing them and being violent.

Sister decided to drive us there and see if anyone was hurt and needed help. We get there and it's three guys looking high on something. Dude's tapping his torso and legs saying "look, I'm all sore of all the ants they threw at us!" "They threw ants at you!?" "Yeah, they flipped a bag full of ants over us!" We took a good look at them, figured they didn't need our help and drove back home, trying to imagine cops collecting ants for hours to fill a bag just so they could give someone a hard time.

[asr]

NGL, the Dominican lady one was just kinda sad.

[GarrettFruge]

The one about the homeless dude complaining about "someone crapping his pants" reminded me of a Ron White bit.

It went something like this:

"One day I woke up after a night of drinking and I found out that somebody...sh*t my pants." 😆

[keepdancingmaria]

Just got diagnosed with diabetes. I want to do everything I possibly can to help via diet.

Gasping in utter disbelief at, ".. just up my medication..." in order to protect a chosen diet of sweet tea, fast food, and Little Debbies.

[Vanilla_Neko]

Considering that bird lady seemed to think that her condition was treatable and that obviously it's all in her head I almost wonder if you could possibly cure her to some extent by claiming you are going to do surgery to remove the bird putting her under and pretty much just making a cut and sewing it up and then telling her that they were successful in removing the bird and she could now live freely

[chrisc]

Actually, my understanding is that there are very, VERY rare instances of humans having a third set of teeth. But they don't grow in when the existing teeth are removed, instead pushing the existing ones out the same way adult teeth displace baby teeth, and in any case because our jaws aren't really large enough to fit a third set they will invariably be misshapen and have to be pulled.

[OnlyJalenPhd]

The rat at the end is adorable! I’d be ok if I was visited by him! However, put a roach or wolf spider up, and I’d have nightmares for weeks!

[Krisna_K]

The rubber band story made me laugh so hard! I knew what a rubber was when I was still in elementary school in the 1970’s and 1980’s! I shouldn’t have but I did! 😂

[kaelak]

the contact lense one scared the shit outta me cause i fell asleep in mine last night

[heartroll]

I’ve had my wisdom teeth removed and one tooth back in March. It had got infected, as an adult of course I know it won’t grow back XD that is just a stupid question to ask.

[Jerry_the_Head]

7:17
i think i remember seeing an animation of this story on tumblr

[dragonofdanksspacestation]

Not a doctor here but i put a band-aid on my grandma once.

[parisgreen]

Those poor patients. That is some Carrie-White-level lack of understanding about their own bodies.

[ameliarose]

Not a doctor but work and a medical facility. A mother called because her daughter had dropped a color guard rifle (the ones you throw and catch) on her face and her eye had bled. She said this happened ages ago but the daughter still has to sit out of practice sometimes because it'll start bleeding and described it almost like her daughter sitting out was the problem, not her daughters bleeding eye. I was still new and transferred the call to a more seasoned colleague who thought maybe I misheard or the person badly explained bloodshot instead of blood coming out, but nope. She had to explain that blood coming out of your eye is really bad and she needed to take her daughter to emergency like, NOW. I'd pretty much figured the same thing, but thought I must be wrong because no adult could be stupid enough not to realize that. I was wrong.

[amanofmanyparts]

The comment about contact lenses is now incorrect.Since I've used virtually every type of lenses over 5 and a half decades, I know that these days you can buy 30 day 24/7 lenses that only need to be taken out at the end of the 30th day. By making that day the closest Friday, you can revert to glasses for the weekend and pop a new pair in on Monday morning. I've since had an artificial lens implant put in my right eye to make me presbyopic on the right and myopic on the left. Overall that gives me a full range of vision as each eye automatically becomes dominant depending on where I'm looking.

[lambiegabby]

Normal people:no
A British bot:NUMBER

[smrtars]

Painful and saddening, but also funny haha

[TheLittleLiarLad]

The lady wanting to get the gay vaccine for her son had me rolling lmao

[JaggedBird]

"considering she has a bird living inside her"
Don't lookit me! It ain't me