Navigating Small Talk as an Autistic Person #autism

Watch the full length video podcast on my dedicated podcast channel @orionkellypodcasts

Hi! I'm Orion Kelly and I'm Autistic. #ActuallyAutistic #orionkelly #autism #autismsigns #whatautismfeelslike #asd

🙏 Thanks so much for watching, rating, commenting, sharing and subscribing, I really appreciate it! You're helping me raise the level of understanding and acceptance of the Autistic community. You can show your support for my channel by doing any of these things:

1️⃣ SUBSCRIBE to my channel.
2️⃣ LIKE / COMMENT / SHARE my videos.
3️⃣ SEND me a Super Thanks

📬 Business Postal Address (Sponsorship proposals, promotional considerations etc)
Orion Kelly Media,
PO Box 457,
Inverloch, VIC, Australia 3996

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

🔵 CHANNEL LINKS 🔵

🔵 CONNECT WITH ORION 🔵
TikTok: @orionkelly_australia

🎧 My Friend Autism' PODCAST 🎧

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ABOUT ORION:
Orion Kelly is an #ActuallyAutistic vlogger (YouTuber), podcaster, radio host, actor, keynote speaker and Autistic advocate based in Australia. Orion is all about helping you increase your understanding, acceptance and appreciation of Autistic people.

#AutisticVoices #ActuallyAutistic #Autistic #Autism #OrionKelly #ThatAutisticGuy #ASD

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

⛔️*Disclaimer: The videos contained on this channel are for general education and entertainment purposes only and do not constitute professional advice. For professional advice and training seek assistance from a qualified provider. All views are my own and do not represent those of my employers or sponsors. Some images used are stock images.*⛔️

Related: autism, autism diagnosis, Orion Kelly, orionkelly, thatautisticguy, tiktok videos, autistic, autism in adults, autism in women, autism in men, autism spectrum condition, asd, autism spectrum disorder, aspergers, aspergers syndrome, autism in boys, autism in girls, dsm, dsm5, autistic adults, autistic kids, autism mom, autism parent, autism family, autism speaks, autism awareness, autism acceptance, autism at work, am I autistic, adult autism test, autism disclosure, autism therapy, autism prevention, autism meltdown, autistic burnout, autistic behavior, autism symptoms, autism traits, autistic signs, what autism feels like, love on the spectrum, stimming, echolalia, anxiety.

[betweenhisshoulders]

Before I knew I was autistic, I always felt interrogated by small talk questions. Feeling like "why does this person want to know so much about me?" Then I felt like people were being rude when they didn't actually seem to care about the answer.

Now I realize it's just a game, a way for NTs to relieve their own anxiety, and I dont have to take it personally or actually answer. Just ask back, if you want to make them feel more comfortable.

[terotivities]

There's a difference between small talk and being there for someone.
Wanting to share or hear about someone's day isn't illogical. I care about my partner. To show I care I listen and share in their frustrations or happiness that they had. It's being emotionally supportive. I can't fix or change the day but I can hear what's on their mind and be there.

[Itsallsotiresome]

Preach!
I hate small talk with a passion. It's the most arbitrary, idiotic, "we've always done it this way, " aggravatingly exhausting waste of an interaction. The social dynamic where people ask you how your day was and they do not actually care, but are just using it as an opener because they just want to talk about their day is especially obnoxious. They say it's polite to do that. No, it's not. It's insulting and stupid. Don't ask me how my day was if you don't care and don't only ask it as a social tool for you to feel ok to talk about your day. If you're an adult, just talk about your day if you want, I might care, but I don't have to care and no one has to listen to it if no one wants to.
They say it's polite to ask first about that, but it's just a manipulative way for them to make the person feel he or she has to listen to their day simply because they asked the person how their day was first.
I completely relate to the problem solving position too. So many people are like, "I just want someone to listen to me, " but I can't just listen easily and not try to solve the issues involved. I am not built to be a shoulder to cry on. I am built to logically analyze, detect discrepancies, and problem solve.

[prschuster]

You have a talent for ironic humor. It's so true that small talk is just idle chatter. I think people do it to signal that they are on friendly terms, because silence is awkward for some people.

[plantarcristaeM...]

Exactly. I'd rather talk about the meaning, purpose, & evolution of existence...or, not at all. Just some examples. 😊

[hannah-lkoc]

I’ve noticed I don’t mind small talk but it’s just very different than neurotypical small talk. My kind of small talk is very specific, rambling, and mostly bringing up weird thoughts that pop into my head. It often involves fun facts and a lot of “I know something specific about that topic that I will add”. I can do this with other neurodivergent people well but neurotypicals hate it. For example, talking to my also autistic coworker, she told me an anecdote about why her teacher got upset with her which led to an anecdote about chat gpt and something i had read about it recently and then she told a story about her coworker and his experience coding and they’re all vaguely related situations without too much of a point but the topics matched up. We both seem to enjoy it. When I try to bring up anecdotes and fun facts with neurotypicals, they seem to think my comments are misplaced because they want to talk about weekend plans or whatever in a loose and vague sense. I can’t do THAT kind cuz I find it a bit taxing. It appears to just be another double empathy problem situation. Regardless, I would argue that autistic small talk exists it’s just very different.

[SarahWells]

Omg! I love listening to you.Its like you’re reading my mind!. Lol😂😂

[KlingonPrincess]

A friend and i play cribbage a few times a week. He'll often call to arrange it and stay on the phone for an hour or so. He asks about my sleep, my dogs, my daughter, the weather (I live about a mile from him.) I usually read while listening and try to reciprocate. Ive known him for over 30 years and made a vow to myself to nurture the relationship. But goodness, a lot is just filler.

[pavel_mednykh]

When someone ask me about my day, first thing I do is try to remember the whole day and find something interesting to share. During that I recognise that it is taking too much time and I need some quick response already. I answer- “Good.” And to mask this moment of silence I’m immediately going straight to the point, skipping “and your’s???” It’s not about to be rude, Just forgot it frequently being deep in my mind. And ofcourse after each conversation like that I shame myself for “being rude” and un “unfriendly “ of the other person’s view😢

[patricioparody]

"Such a beautiful day, isn't?"
*sun shining so hard that i can't even see

[PeepsBucket]

This is exactly how I feel. It's so frustrating to deal with this all the time.

[Andrewjapaneserees]

Hey brother, I'm glad I found your channel. I'm glad to hear your view on this subject.

[reneebekas]

😂 the end cracked me up too much!
I like to try asking “did anything interesting happen to you today?”

[camillenelson]

I love that! "So, are you better than me"? I'm going to use that when someone doesn't like that i think different (and better😅).

[peacewG]

I love it. Who gives a flying flip (yawn) is usually what is going on in my head. And don't even get me started on asking about people's children and how they are. I cannot find any way to muster up feined interest about people that I have never even met. I can barely remember the names of people who I interact with every single day. This short made me chuckle because it hits the nail on the head. Don't make me look backwards. I am so busy managing the present.

[AmericanPatriot]

My mind exactly, so glad to see I am not the only one in the same boat.

[raven]

The worst part is you give them the perfect solution TO FIX IT, and they get MAD AT YOU for ...Not caring? Really? Why would I find and give a solution if I didn't care? They can keep their small talk. I've given up.

[timothywalker]

They say in radio “dead air” isn’t good so people fill in with small talk, you can’t hear a DJ sweat but you can sometimes hear nervous tone in their speaking. That’s the only time you hear a Neurotypical at a near loss for words 😆

[Ummmyeah]

I like asking people I really care about (really care about being a KEY part). " How was your day". But with some stipulations after their first answer, I ask more questions. I like this because I'm bad at conversations but want to know everything about the people I care about, so asking " How was your day". Is a nice, calm socially acceptable way to say - "TELL ME EVERY DETAIL OF YOUR LIFE BECAUSE I LOVE YOU"
And as for when people say " How was your day" too me I just say "Decent enough" and let them interpret that how they see fit

[gdaholic]

All my life I’ve wanted someone to say this! Thank you! 💯