Stuck in Small Talk? Try These Communication Techniques to Win them Over | Matt Abrahams

In this episode, Matt Abrahams shares his expertise in communication and how to speak successfully when put on the spot. Matt is a leading expert in communication with decades of experience as an educator, author, podcast host, and coach. As a Lecturer in Organizational Behavior at Stanford University’s Graduate School of Business, he teaches popular classes in strategic communication and effective virtual presenting. He has also helped countless presenters improve their communication skills, including those delivering IPO road shows and TED talks.

During our conversation, we delve into the power of spontaneous communication and how it can enhance our creativity and ability to convey ideas. Matt emphasizes the importance of mindset, managing anxiety, and being present in the moment. We explore the key ingredients of charisma and how they can be learned and practiced. Matt also shares practical strategies for structuring our messages and making them relevant and engaging.

Some highlights we explore:

- The impact of anxiety on spontaneous speaking
- The mindset shift from seeing communication as a threat to an opportunity
- The importance of listening and being present in conversations
- The role of structure in delivering effective messages

Tune in to this episode to learn actionable techniques for thinking faster and talking smarter in any spontaneous speaking situation. Get ready to boost your communication skills and confidently convey your ideas in the moment.

Enjoy!

00:00 Unlocking the Power of Spontaneous Communication
00:37 Welcoming Matt: A Deep Dive into Effective Communication
05:38 The Essence of Charisma and Communication Skills
11:20 Mastering Anxiety and Enhancing Focus in Communication
28:11 The Art of Small Talk: Navigating Social Interactions
32:52 Navigating Deep Personal Disclosures in Social Settings
34:25 The Art of Mutual Disclosure and Conversation Dynamics
35:43 Mastering Small Talk: Supporting vs. Shifting Responses
37:25 Improvisation and Structure in Social Interactions
38:22 Effortless Brilliance and Preparing for Public Speaking
39:15 Crafting the Perfect Toast: A Step-by-Step Guide
44:32 Communication Skills for Personal and Professional Growth
55:45 Creative Processes and the Impact of Communication

ABOUT MATT ABRAHAMS:
Matt Abrahams is a leading expert in communication with decades of experience as an educator, author, podcast host, and coach. He is a Lecturer in Organizational Behavior at Stanford University’s Graduate School of Business and teaches popular classes in strategic communication and effective virtual presenting. Matt is also a sought-after keynote speaker and communication consultant, having helped numerous presenters improve their communication skills. He is the author of "Think Faster, Talk Smarter: How to Speak Successfully When You’re Put on the Spot" and "Speaking Up without Freaking Out: 50 Techniques for Confident and Compelling Presenting."

ABOUT Think Faster, Talk Smarter:
"Think Faster, Talk Smarter: How to Speak Successfully When You’re Put on the Spot" by Matt Abrahams provides actionable skills for successful spontaneous speaking. The book argues that thinking faster and talking smarter can be learned through preparation and practice. It provides strategies for managing anxiety, responding to different moods, and communicating in concise and compelling ways. It covers various real-life scenarios and emphasizes the importance of conveying one's true personality and thoughts in the moment.

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Chase Jarvis is well known as a visionary photographer, fine artist and entrepreneur. Chase is cited as one of the most influential photographers of the past decade. As an entrepreneur, Chase created Best Camera - the world's first mobile photo app to share images direct to social networks - sparking the global photo sharing craze. He is currently the founder & CEO of CreativeLive, the world's largest live-streaming online education company, having delivered more than a billion minutes of free live education worldwide.

[hjtam]

Charisma -

1) Mindset (Anxiety)
i) Symptoms - Deep Breathing - exhale twice as long as inhale / hold something cold /
ii)Sources - Worrying about the future consequences - Get present oriented (exercise, listen to song etc)


2) Messaging
i) Focus, don't discover what you want to say as you are saying it, have a structure
ii) Structure - What? So What? Now What?
iii) What do my audience want to hear? (Audience Centric - what is important to them?)
iV) What if you could.... So that....For example.... and that is not all....

eg, What is the value of your podcast?

WHAT if you could "learn important valuable immediately useful communication skills"
So that "you can improve how you come across in any situation, be it a pitch, a presentation or a conversation"
For example "you will learn skills about how to manage anxiety as well as how to be engaging"
and that is not all "you will hear leading experts and Stanford professors to learn the latest and greatest communication tools"


3) Practice, Practice and Practice


W - Why are we here?
H - How you are connected?
A - Anecdote - Story
T- Thank you

[raragirly]

Great insight. Great conversation. Thank you for this. Some real nuggets there.❤

[DJSC]

Amazing 4 sentence starters :
26:25
✅️What if you could..
✅️So that..
✅️For example..
✅️And that's not all..
🎉❤

[AbiolaEpebinu]

Learning about communication is a step by step process

[DJSC]

Thank you for giving the W.H.A.T acronym as structure in giving a Toast like in a wedding 🥰
Why are we here.
How are we connected.
Anecdote that is relevant.
Thanks message and invite all to cheers 🥳

[geidicalcagno]

I'm Thirsty of a good and healthy conversation. Thanks God l found you. English is not my first language, but l love to speak in English.
My dream is to live in a neighborhood where people speak English only...l love the snow in Christmas. I was born in D.R. l would love to return to school, but sometimes lm afraid of loans long term.
Thanks you for giving me the ideas to settle a good conversation...GOING ON A SMALL TALK. Thanks be to God that l work in a place where they speak in sometimes.
I'm thinking to move up north Florida maybe there l find more English speakers.
I love your accent 😍 Blessings 🙌

[canadianhappyinitalytruest]

This interview is single-handedly helping my children’s report cards! (Here in Italy they do a LOT of “talk to me about …” for exams, starting in grade 2!!

[lucyingles]

Glad I came across this podcast. Found a diamond 💎 Every speaker, confident or not do feel fear, anxious and nervous. Thankyou Chase.

[BLOOMwithANSA]

The most important steps when it comes to focused public speaking is:
- Being Audience Centric: Say what your audience wants to hear not what you have to say.
- Structure to achieve focus: Be concise, get your audience excited about what you do and then go deeper into it.
- Structure Prompts: What if you could So for that's not

[Nurudeensalihu-wvwh]

Nice watching and listening to you Matt Abrahams

[Gracely]

Insightful. I think the video contains more than Small talk like how to make a Toast, how to demonstrate emotional intelligence, and communication structures, to mention but a few. Thank you.

[mintodih]

Your podcast is opened my mind to practice short stories. Thank a lot.

[BeALeader-PersonalBranding]

Great convo. In my ‘Leadership and Personal Branding’ podcast, I help people prepare by asking them two self-discovery questions, and interview them in a spontaneous, conversational dialogue to inspire them to lead the way with their unique personal brand story.

[gokulakrishnanks]

It was a great podcast with Matt, it is such high-quality frameworks, and ideas that helped and will help me soon for my career growth. Thanks, Chase Jarvis for this gem.

[putrinoorafedahbintimega-dujw]

Really enjoyed this podcast 👍 Thanks Chase and Matt

[miriamsuarez]

I love it
Great interview
I even got tips for a Waiting speech👌

[michellehenry]

Thank you this was such a brilliant podcast, I really struggle with public speaking and having to speak up on the spot, I am going to try some of these strategies

[arjungiri]

Superb how come so less viewers of this so insightful conversation. Love from Nepal

[sharmsd]

Gobsmacked! Love the talk.
Intend to get the book and learn more. Perhaps do an online course if one is offered?..thank you so much

[iandavis]

I'm teaching a young class for the first time tomorrow in Czech about my country of Scotland. I really want to overcome everything and be natural