The Truth About ADHD Masking

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DISCLAIMER: This content is strictly the opinion of Dr. LeGrand and is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice or to take the place of medical advice or treatment from a personal physician. All viewers of this content are advised to consult their doctors or qualified health professionals regarding specific health questions. Neither Dr. LeGrand nor the publisher of this content takes responsibility for possible health consequences of any person or persons reading or following the information in this educational content. All viewers of this content, especially those taking prescription or over-the-counter medications, should consult their physicians before beginning any nutrition, supplement or lifestyle program.

[TylinaVespart]

I would have sworn I didn’t mask much, for a long time, because I couldn’t see the edges. I’d been doing it so long and so well that I just thought it was me.

Diagnosed last year at 30. Slowly figuring out where the edges are. And realising why I’ve been so tired.

[kittipotatoart]

I was diagnosed but my parents didn't know how to figure out ADHD so they just forced me to "be normal" otherwise I was punished. Now I have massive emotional outbursts at 20 because all my life I was unable to release them in a healthy way.

[catcher_r]

It feels like an ugly secret that I have been hiding for no reason. It completely changed my personality and my life. I wish I knew more about it before it affected my life

[garlicgalore]

Masking is very self defeating As you point out well in your video. For some with ADHD it's not simple to turn off the masking because it has been deeply ingrain as the normal way everyone gets along.
As someone just diagnosed at age 59 I am uncovering the depth of masking that I've incorporated deeply and unknowingly into my life skills and public persona. Most of my masking is either playing along at being like everyone else (It's easy to glean from people's comments and actions what is expected, so I've always faked it that I'm not able to multitask, stay organized, manage life, etc) or ignoring that a situation doesn't work for me and shutting down until I can escape. Not healthy! But I thought this was just what everyone was doing and I just didn't manage "self control" as well as everyone else.
The worst loss (that I'm relearning) is the ability to credit or even recognize my own feelings about any given situation. And the second worst thing - almost no one I know believes me when I say I've been diagnosed with ADHD, because I've faked functioning so well for a lifetime! 🤦
But it's a relief to learn what's going on and there's a lot of good information, like your channel, to get us on the way to happier things. Thank you!

[officialWWM]

I’ve been masking my entire life. Now at 56 years old, I’m finally getting help :/

[Stoitism]

I find journaling to be incredibly helpful in learning how to remove my mask. Journaling lets me remove my mask in a safe, judgement-free way where absolutely anything goes. I write anything and everything in my journal and its so very liberating and cathartic. It also serves as practice for when I loosen my mask in front of others. Something which does not come easily to me at all.

[heatherwhatever]

I still remember gp doctors getting annoyed when I asked questions. I needed the answers but wouldn’t press it because I was ashamed.

[ashleeyhope]

I just found your channel and you’re just taking the words out of my mouth in all your videos, can’t believe you only have 10K subs! Thank you for your videos.

[JGPlunder]

I started masking in my adult years. It was likely because I had some amazing friends and a great mother. But society isn't my friends or my mom so I got hurt often by society in general. I was diagnosed at 21-22. Medicated. Therapy. I am almost 34 it is the same ADHD but society has been progressively less accepting since I became an adult. Regardless of how hard I tried to accomplish or be normal

[ADHDGG]

Me, me, me!!!
I didn’t know I had ADHD until I was 53 and I masked because I was so weird and I wanted to just be normal. Now, that my weirdness has been diagnosed, it’s really helped me be, more me. Thank God, like you, I’ve always been able to be me at home. My husband has always accepted me as is ❤ a support group sounds very helpful
Loving your videos, they are spot on 😊

[mchamberger]

Thank you for identifying the positive impact of ADHD masking! I might not understand where it starts or stops because I don’t think my symptoms that I have I am capable of masking b/c I make an effort to be positive and have a growth mindset. Having a sense of doubt and overcoming that feels like masking. Just constantly feels like it contributes to my perception of feeling sad, overwhelmed, angry, or anxious. As an actor with ADHD it helps me to feel like accessing different emotions can be a positive.

[omnipotentfaces]

I broke down multiple times in in therapy through my life saying “I don’t know who I am”. I’m 25yr old woman and got diagnosed last year, it makes so much sense now but it’s so so difficult to unmask. I used to feel like a totally different person at home than outside or with others, it was so much constant hard work I didn’t realise I was putting myself through.

[samanthawright]

Thank you for this video. I have ADHD. I was diagnosed at a young age, but learned to mask for the same reasons you did. I even stopped taking my meds after college cuz I thought I could defeat it with willpower. Big mistake. Masking also lead me to issues with substance abuse too. I don't mask anymore (that I know of) but I definitely need to heal from the internalized low self-esteem of being a young hyperactive girl. I also relate to vacillating between the extremes of hyperfocused perfectionism and procrastination, avoidance, and underachieving. I am thirty-six now and sober but the treatment plan has had to change as I do and requires problem-solving, and constant management. For instance, my med crashes have gotten severe in recent times, so I am learning to be easy on myself as I become extremely fatigued and unable to concentrate as the meds start to wear off, and find out how I can supplement that (that's how I found your videos and I've been binge watching and taking notes in a hyperfocused state for well over 90 minutes or so hahahah), so I can be awake and alert enough to still have some productivity after 3pm and have enough focus for basic things like hygiene -- my evening routine is really challenging to stick to bc brushing my teeth, taking out my contacts and cleaning and storing them properly, as well as a skincare routine, and things like preparing my food are a challenge anyway, but ESPECIALLY during a med crash. I need a balance between over working and getting the "f*cki-its" and underperforming, or not even trying out of despair. These days, I feel less isolated now and more like I can be myself but it has taken getting back on meds, therapy, support programs, sobriety, prayer and meditation, conscious contact with a higher power I like to call "God" and all the resources you mentioned. It does take constant vigilance. And also to learn that ADHD is only one part of who I am. I am a spectrum of colors. Also, how 'bout I get to STOP APOLOGIZING for it?!? Its part of who I am. I don't need to fit into any one else's standards. In spite of sounding really serious in this post I have a good sense of humor. And my extroversion can help other people come out of their shell. Anyway, so glad I found your channel. And glad that I am no longer trying to front as a person who I don't want to be. I want to be me! She's actually kinda cool. 🙂. Great content and your own story is inspiring. You've earned a subscriber!

[ethimself]

Just started watching. I apparently have never masked. When I was very young I had ADHD and was kinda the little terror locally and at some point I switched to ADD of which I don't remember. My mother gave me the rundown when I was an adult when I was about 40. Then diagnosed at 47, haha with a bad dose of ADD. Time to watch the vid👍

[gustavakerman]

I don’t do masking. This may be because I also have autism, and as a consequence, I straight up do not care what others think of me. So long as I’m not accused of being immoral, I could not care less if people think I am weird. I don’t care. I am me, you are you, and you have no power over me.

[Saintly]

Trying to answer personality assessments is torture as I don’t know who I am… diagnosed at nearly 58. So many years of masking… where did I go? Who am I really?

[Triads]

This is pretty similar experience I started going through as a 10 year old when my social anxiety started kicking in. I didnt want to feel anymore and changed myself and forgot about who I was its ruined my life which may lead to suicide

[Tallguymark]

Literally taking shot at 4:20…. Maybe I need to have a talk . I didn’t find this video coincidentally at 2 am.

[marcelguldemond]

@doctorlegrand - I'm a third child too!!! Not only my wife calls me that, but so do my kids. According to them I also have goldfish brain. I'm in my 50s and I haven't been diagnosed yet.

[ethimself]

Just a thought. How does one get a PHD with a good dose of ADHD? Must have been a torture considering how hard it is to get even a Masters. You know considering the typical symptoms. I started studying out side of the box and in hindsight it appears that my IQ went up 30 points, I was above average as tested. I figure that school was just plain boring and when I went outside of the box it likely started by trial and error. I did quickly find things interesting and this produced something I have heard called hyper focusing. Well I have been happily hyperring away since 67.