how to talk to someone with depression (do’s & don’t) 🤍

Dear viewer,

I hope you will find this video helpful. I totally understand that feeling of wanting to do everything for our loved ones who may be struggling. I do hope any of these tips could be useful in your conversations. Remember, be kind to yourself even in the process, we are not perfect humans -as long as we intend to do no harm and help, it will be okay. Best of luck, hope everyone is hanging in there.

Xo, Yeonni.

Resources:

What is Depression?

How to Talk to Someone with Depression?

[Iwkms_yesido]

Biggest one: DON'T say "dont cry" make them feel like their emotions matter and tell them it's okay to cry.

[vincelam]

Empathy is such an underrated trait these days...

[brandonmoskos]

Have a friend dealing with depression. Breaks my heart when she cries. I continually let her know I am here, and we talk a lot. She has her good days and bad days, but your advice has helped. Thank you.

[edarmando]

My fiancée is going through an episode since January, she doesn’t allow me to see her . She ask for space and time off. I told her I’m rooting for her and praying 🙏. It’s so sad most people feel overwhelmed and don’t allow their partners to help them ! I been so stressed and depressed myself.

[nesee]

Do's
- Engage With Them (1:09)
- Check-in With Them (4:30)
- Show Them (Demonstrate Verbally) You Care (6:51)
Don't
- Try Not to Give Unsolicited Advice (9:02)
Listen to understand not to make your point
- Don't try to make them "feel better" (10:11)
- Don't try to figure out why/Don't try to "solve" their depression (10:58)

I think I got all the points, made it for when I go back to the video :) Thank you so much for this video!

[DesiGheeee]

Can’t tell you how many times I have had meltdowns finishing this video. For someone who has gone through it, I have hard time explaining what I felt and what I needed at that time. I started sharing my journey on Facebook, so I can be that voice for someone else who kept me going at my lowest speaking their truth and struggles. The hardest part of all is, that no one understand what you’re going through. The medical system is not made for people who has depression. I just wanna say Thank you for making this video. I just needed to hear this all. I don’t care if the video was 15mins long. No one can understand how much healing this 15mins has brought me in a long time.

People who are struggling just remember it’s TEMPORARY, it will take time but with Baby Steps, you will make it on the other side and help many more like you one way or the other.

[tramynguyen]

I'm going through depression myself and I find unsolicited advices the most irritating. Rationally I know advices are meant to improve my situation but mentally I blame myself and feel judged by the advisor. For someone who hasn't gone through depression, they never know how to talk to someone with depression. This isolates depressed people even more cause there is no specific explanation to it. This is most helpful video so far. Thank you so much!

[perezyawhjechristb.]

Thank you very much, I have depression and it got triggered a while ago and I'm still crying non-stop because my family don't know how to listen to me. My mom said I should just think positively and I'm overreacting and those just hurts so much. It made it even painful when the police, not even part of my family, that my feelings are not normal so I should go to hospital and let myself get check-up. It hurts so much that other people can understand you better than your own family..

[NoneYa-pgdk]

i'm not a professional, but with my experience with being on both ends. don't forget that you can only do what you can. you don't have to bend over backwards to help them. the only people who can really save them is themselves, but you can try your best to be a support system. sometimes the other party may need more than what you can offer and the best thing you can do at that point is accept that you can't or find resources to help them tackle the task.

[saakshiborkar]

One of the most useful youtube videos on the internet. This is a real life skill that everyone should know

[aprilhai]

I am diagnose with Depression. watching this video almost make me cry. my parents, and my sister would use their words to hurt me. I didn't like how they were giving me advices, try to make me feel better, and forcing me to go to the doctor. hearing what you say really make me feel a little bit better when a lots I have been going through!

[corgiprofesser]

Thank you so much for putting this video out here. Recently I've started talking to a close friend that I stopped talking to for a while because our friendship was super messy. I'm trying to avoid some of the past mistakes I made and this video has helped me out a bunch. I've always tried my best to reach out to my friend but ultimately failed and reflecting on what I said made her mental health experience worse (in all fairness we were both 13-ish). I feel more confident communicating my feelings to her in a healthy, constructive manner. I'm so lucky to have found this video when I did ♥

[kiibo]

I feel like this is more about people that don't talk about their depression, like those surface level friends ..
But what if that person vents to you every single day 24/7 ? And it's been 5 months now, i've tried everything to help them and support them, but it's been 5 months and nothing is getting better, and i feel so helpless, what more can i do? All advice and tips i see are just about the beginning of discovering that someone has depression or is suicidal, but what after that? What do you do after ? What if months pass and it's still the same even with things you did? "Check up on them" we literally talk everyday about it..and i put so much effort and time and energy into comforting them and reassuring them..what more should i do??? What is left there???

[Sxnnlight_Io]

Thank you for this advice, im really worried for one of my friends from school, they are really upset and i just want to comfort them and be there for them

[Holly-jf]

This video was very helpful for me. I just started dating a woman in the last month and the past week she's been struggling very deeply with depression and I wasn't sure how to help her. I've taken notes from your video and will do them all. Thank you so much!

[kimichan]

My parents in law _told_ me to go see a therapist. They borderline told my husband not to take me back after took a break until I saw a therapist. True or not it was still hurtful and made me not trust them. It made me feel like a leper or something. I wish they could’ve been more supportive and understanding and encouraged me to get help rather than pressuring. There is so much shame and embarrassment that comes with the depression.

[Enchxnted_fnm]

I found out that my friend got into cutting. She told me about it and I was very worried, she sent me pics of the cuts. I was terrified but stayed calm and talked to her. I’m glad that I was the first person and that she could trust me, it kinda became my responsibility, I’m watching this video for further advice. Most of the things mentioned, I had already implemented without watching the video. In the end I recommended to see a professional but I never stopped checking up on her. Now she still won’t see a professional coz she is scared but now a days she hasn’t been cutting and I could see improvement. If anyone else has any advice at all, I’d appreciate a response ❤ I very much agree with not trying to make them feel better coz it’s just like lying.

[micheleele]

#1 important is Don’t judge them based on your experience or where you are in your life….don’t act like someone suffering should be able to pull themselves out….they will have good days & bad days….PLEASE KNOW & REMEMBER THEY DON’T WANT TO BE DEPRESSED…THEY WANT TO BE HAPPY AGAIN….They are down on themselves enough & already have shame & guilt for feeling depressed bc it also affects their loved ones & household & they know it……

[questfortraquility]

I like longer videos. 30-60 min. I listen while falling asleep. It distracts my brain and it’s interesting information. Especially when it’s someone with a soothing voice

[vanessupreme]

Much appreciated video 🤍 I have people in my life with depression & mental illnesses. I do the best I can to be there for them, show them I care, & gather more research on what I can do. Thank you!
PS Your videos are a great length for me!