THIS Happens When An Avoidant Realizes They Lost You

THIS Happens When an Avoidant Realizes They Lost You

When a dismissive avoidant realizes you’re gone, they may start questioning things—reflecting on what went wrong, and even wondering if they made a mistake.

But instead of reaching out directly, they might test the waters with subtle or indirect contact, like reacting to your posts or sending casual messages. However, they often still don’t feel ready to fully invest in a relationship, leaving you feeling confused or stuck.

Have you ever experienced this with an avoidant partner? How did you handle it? Let’s discuss in the comments!

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[gatorssbm]

After having those indirect reach outs reset into ghosting Ive made it a new boundary to never interact with folk who dropped me unless they ask me directly (and even then Ill decide if I even want to bother). Its mentally exhausting trying to accommodate for the sake of the other person if it can risk going on for days. Not asking for daily contact but at least have some decency to follow through, nobody deserves to go through being bread crumbed like that.

[Sifu_Black]

I'll never forget the first alleged DA I dated. She came back after three months of friend-zoning me, but I had already moved on and was seeing other women. She kept wanting to "hang out, " but when I made a date she kept with the same excuses she had made whilst in the relationship. She was clearly trying to see where I was at.

Several years later I ran into her at a restaurant and she gave me "the update" saying she was living with a guy who was "more into her than she was into him" as she put it. I lean avoidant a little myself, but I'm still amazed at some of the behaviors of extreme DAs.

[SuzanneLegendre]

It’s not because they’re afraid of vulnerability. It’s because they’re too proud!!

[Eddybo]

So essentially they continue to consciously hurt themselves while blaming everyone else for the hurt they have experienced instead of making the choice to heal and be better. Got it.

[StefTechSurfer]

FA here, I felt bad right after and still 2+ months after

[jonyob]

Dismissive avoidant here. Pretty accurate. 😅

[heatherbug]

Where in this timeline does he get on dating sites?

[whiggygirl]

and what about when they jumped straight into a rebound/monkey branched with what I believe is another DA?