Understanding Trauma: Stuck In Survival Mode | Will I Ever Be Normal?

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I remember trying to explain to people what trauma felt like, so I would tell people "It's like a switch goes off in my brain. A switch goes off and suddenly I can't really function, be, think, act or feel the way I normally feel, it's almost like it's out of my control." Of course I would get really strange looks and people would be like "What are you talking about Michele? Are you ok? Do you need to see somebody?" And the truth is is that people don't really understand what happens after trauma. Sadly, when people don't understand what you're going through, it's very invalidating. It feels awful and it really makes a person wonder, is there something wrong with me.. and it just doesn't feel good. So with this video I wanted to help you to understand the difference between when your brain is just being you're just living life and when your brain is in survival, when you're stuck in survival there's two different ways that our brain reacts and it causes different feelings, thoughts and actions in us. So if anyone is going through this I am hoping that this video will provide the validation that you desperately are seeking. So with that in mind, for those that don't know me - My name is Michele Lee Nieves - I'm a life coach and I'm dedicated to helping people to break through subconscious programming so that they can get rid of the junk that was put there by toxic people so that they can live as their authentic self. If those are topics that you are interested in make sure that you subscribe to my channel and hit that bell icon so that you're notified of my upcoming videos.
Ok - so what's the difference between your brain when it's just being - and when it's stuck in survival. Let's first start with when it's just being. And as I'm describing this - think about, reflect on your life and think about if there was ever a time where you experienced this.
So this is your brain just being: When our brain is relaxed and it's just being just living we feel open to learning new information, it's easy to retain the information we learn in the sense that it's not in one ear out the other. We also can recognize that there may be other interpretations or perceptions that are different than the way we see things.....

[korinburnsed]

I’ve been in survival mode for years. Very small glimpses at living. I wonder where the old me went through this awakening journey. I don’t thrive in this culture and the demands and responsibilities.

[denisejames]

Exactly! Only people that have been through it can really undersrand. Trying to express how you feel to someone that has never experienced being constanly criticized, back and forth being loved one minute and then hated the next, being judged negatively with everything, no support when needed, zero empathy . You lack trust, you keep everything to yourself. You almost feel like everyone is out to get you or judge you in a negative way.
Finding peace is a struggle everday.

[Mike-xtlh]

So true Michelle it really hurts😞 when no one understands what we've been through .

[cuzikare]

I am struggling right now to get out of survival mode. It is exhausting! There was so much childhood trauma it has taken so much time to unravel my brain. I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and i am confused about who I am. Thank you for this video. I feel anything BUT normal.

[danielc]

Being around toxic people all my life, I'll never be normal, in regards to social norms. Not to sound pompous but, there's not a lot of people who are mentally strong enough to go through what I've been through, and come out the other side relatively sane.

[studiosandi]

It is amazing how you can work to better yourself and then get involved with another toxic person and Lose Yourself all over again.

[marnitabaird]

I needed this message so much. I needed to know that swinging back and forth is a normal part of my recovery, and to tie a knot and hang on. Big, warm, hugs😘🧘🏾‍♀️🙋🏽

[VeganintheMatrix]

Tools that help: notice when you begin to shift to trauma brain, remind yourself to feel peace/harmony because there is no threat. It is key to repeatedly remind your brain there is NO THREAT, and to trust that even if you feel like you are having a bad day or bad moment. Feel contact with your body, look at your arms or down at your legs or waist and stay with yourself physically to help you stay with yourself mentally. Start building a knowing of the feeling of your essence and amplify it when trauma brain is triggered while thinking on peace/harmony. Then give yourself an comment. Avoid social media and looking a your phone for unproductive purposes while learning to tune into your essence. Alot of the time when we get sucked into trauma mode, it is like a storm cloud that fogs our clear thinking and makes so much noise in our mind that it's all we can hear, or a lens that coats all our seemingly relentless thoughts. Putting in earbuds and really focusing solely on nothing but a song we choose to listen to at a loud enough level to drown out other noises while tuning out any words or images running through the mind REALLY helps force the mind to ignore the impulses of trauma brain. As you tune more into HEARING/LISTENING to the song, trauma brain moves further away. It is key to be in a RECEPTIVE state of HEARING the EXTERNAL stimuli that you know is safe. Listening to external input in a calm state is very difficult and even terrifying for trauma brain. This is why the earbuds+music is so powerful, it creates a safe environment for your mind to reopen bit by bit. It is taxing at first, but becomes easier and provides a sea of peace and creates space in your mind where you can feel free again. If kept as a practice, it will help you remain calm in other activities as well that once felt overwhelming! This will also help reestablish the learning/being functions of the brain. It's best to do this in an environment you feel good being in when you do not need to be mindful of time constraints, because it may take some time for your mind to begin easing into this mode. You will need to refocus your mind several times back to the music as trauma brain tries to reestablish dominance over your mind. Do not get irritated or frustrated, just be mindful of when it is happening and calmly return your focus to the music without giving trauma brain a response and be sweet to yourself in the process. The more you do this, the easier it will become over time until tuning out trauma brain almost makes you laugh a bit now that there is enough distance between you and it to see it apart from your true self and how silly it is by comparison to your calm state of mind. A temporary crutch that personally aids me when trauma brain is in high gear while attempting this process is a few large inhales of flavored nicotine, which brings a few moments of release to recenter myself while engaging my body and the nicotine creates a momentary pause of the racing thoughts. The disposable Puff Bars at the local nicotine shops are very small, clean, and convenient. Alcohol and marijuana can reinforce trauma brain and disassociation, however, atleast until a healthy level of Being Brain can be maintained on a regular basis. Retraining your mind what to tune into and what to tune out and HOW will help you maintain peace. Reading and writing can also help reestablish a bridge through disassociation and helps you to better notice when you are drifting out of a conscious state, sometimes you may even notice your vision begin to blur as disassociation comes up while reading or writing. Remind yourself that nothing external has anything to do with you or REQUIRES your concern. And be sure you are getting enough water! Your body needs ATLEAST 8 cups of water a day.

[ramonasantos]

I have been in a dysfunctional marriage for thirty years. I am so numb and detached with myself. I am constantly in survival mode. I can't do this anymore, I decided to educate myself for the proper healing. This video hit home.

[breakthroughmoment]

Sometimes it feels like I catch every bad vibe that’s out there. Being an empath isn’t easy. Excellent juxtaposition of the two brains. Thank you!

[tomsmith]

Do not take this as a creepy
Trolling text.
You are my go to person for my
Healing journey.
I love you for who are in you inner
Women. It is because of that, you
Do what you do. All of that brings
Me closer to my goal of a peace
Full state of life. Your work has actually made the journey enjoyable.
Thanks!

[jonellis]

This is the best explanation of childhood trauma I’ve ever heard👍!!

[AvenleighShandell]

It’s crazy how the other day I thought to myself “wow I think my brain is constantly in survival mode” and I didn’t even know survival mode of the brain was real at that point. Days later you uploaded this. God bless, this helped a lot

[gregoryswift]

Sweetie I don’t ever remember being outta survival mode, a friend use 2 tell me I need a head doctor, , very Informative video, , ur gifted with insight knowledge n wisdom sister👼🏽

[Workonyourjumper]

I've been in survival mode since 9 years old. Thanks for this conversation.

[robin-elizabeth]

Every word....😢
I just want to have normal joy again😢

[williamhawkins]

My divorce happened almost 8 years ago. My ex-wife got everything, turned my kids against me. She recently has taken me back to court and lied on the stand about all the agreements we had made and the court believed everything. I feel so lost, confused and defenseless. So many years of my life have been lost and I don't know what to do?

[marcusdenning]

I grew up w ADHD and the only acknowledgment I got from parents was during report card days. No nurturing, just discipline. Work harder so u won’t be a failure in life.

[RamosSports]

Wow, not only is each video better than the last, but you get more beautiful as well. Amazing.

[paulettecatsfairchild]

Thank you for your videos! They have transformed my life and you have helped to save me and my sanity!! Thank you for all of your help!! You are the best!!