4 Ways Out Of Survival Mode

Learn more about Patrick Teahan,
Childhood Trauma Resources and Offerings

Chapters:
0:00 Intro
1:23 Signs of Survival Mode
2:45 Causes of Survival Mode
6:38 Getting out of survival mode - engage inner adult
6:57 1) Explore what the trigger is
10:51 2) Do something physical for release (rage or "truth" work)
16:03 3) Connect and talk about it
17:45 4) Come up with a reasonable plan
22:03 Outro

In this video we cover: survival mode, survive, triggers, childhood trauma, inner child, inner child work, c-ptsd, ptsd, toxic parents, narcissistic abuse, assertion, mind reading, moods, healing, abusive parents, emotional abuse, childhood ptsd, repressed memories, hypervigilance, narcissistic parents, emotionally abusive parents, child abuse, narcissistic father, childhood emotional neglect, abuse, narcissistic mother, NPD, BPD

⚠️ Disclaimer

My videos are for educational purposes only. Information provided on this channel is not intended to be a substitute for in person professional medical advice. It is not intended to replace the services of a therapist, physician, or other qualified professional, nor does it constitute a therapist-client or physician or quasi-physician relationship.

If you are, or someone you know, is in immediate danger, please call a local emergency telephone number or go immediately to the nearest emergency room.

If you are having emotional distress, please utilize 911 or the National Suicide Hotline
1-800-273-8255

[chloefrancois]

"Anger is not a bad emotion. It's a compass. It's an empowering emotion if it's used right."

[ninadertorossian]

When you said, "some of you may not have a reference point because you've been in survival mode so long" I started crying

[imwatching]

As a child, I was always punished for expressing my anger and frustration.

[sirenamber]

Oh wow when you talked about the rage/truth work and used the phrases "You set me up to be terrified to make mistakes, you set me up to pick bad partners, you set me up to hate myself." I felt a cold wash come over my entire body and I burst into tears. So clearly I need to do this work. "I was a good kid." 😥

[amadahyrose]

I don't think I've ever been out of survival mode. I am terrified of fun or spontaneity. I am a grateful person, with a lovely family of choice that gives me joy, but I'm always waiting for the next "bad" thing and I live in fear every day. I am very, very tired. Thank you for understanding; I am woefully sorry anyone else understands this. xoxo

[launacasey]

What makes this content so great and helpful is knowing that Patrick has gone through a crappy childhood, AND that he worked through it, SO THAT he can be present and create very compassionate and authentic material. It's very inspiring. Everybody needs a bit of hope and encouragement to pull through...

[olafelsberry]

Finding a therapist is easy, finding a great therapist is difficult.

[arleneshanley]

This was me until very recently. Once I committed to cutting ANYONE out of my life that disrupts my peace it was as if I snapped out of it. Epiphany after epiphany happened, and now I feel happy and empowered.

[alyssaj]

"As you get healthier, you tolerate less and less b.s." Yes! This is what's been happening for me gradually over the last several years. Happy and hopeful to hear that's a sign of healing. 🙏💜

[stevec]

"..no point of reference for not being in survival mode..." Subscribed!

[ShalomSarahJoy]

You are like a “mr rogers” for adults. I thank Jesus for this godsend

[nnnnnnnnnataliem]

"as we get healthier, we tolerate so much less BS" music to my ears 🤍

[raymondnozomi]

Few years ago, I literally destroyed every single furniture piece at my home after my father died and I inherited it. Every. Single. Piece. By hands and legs. No tools. Guess I just hated it all somewhere deep inside, and the place itself too, because so much bad stuff happened for over 20 years there. Moved out after I realised it.
So can confirm, breaking things helps and relieves, especially if things connected to triggers.

[BR-lqbk]

It’s taken 30 years of seeking therapy (bad therapy lead to false memories, overmedicated, hospitalized several times, got on disability, ECT, TMS, Ketamine infusions) to another break down to finally recognize why I’ve had these symptoms. Covert narcissistic abuse since childhood, emotional neglect, coercive control, scapegoated, designated patient… Ignored, devalued, raged at for expressing feelings. Took the focus off the abuser who came across as the saint. The programming started young. My brain and autonomic nervous system has been in freeze mode and symptoms of Stockholm Syndrome. Now telling myself I’m safe. Safe to feel, to be in my body, to think for myself… A traumatized brain can heal. The numbness protected us. Learning about somatic healing, grounding, nurturing and redefining love. An ADHD med has also finally helped and looking for good counsel. You’re a kind, intelligent, take no BS compassionate soul… Thanks for sharing your stories and insight!!

[MzShonuff]

Whew! The job thing! I realized I chose toxic jobs that exactly replicated my family dynamics and those are the ones I stayed in the longest (6 years at one, 12 at another). Patrick you’re not a hypocrite for having a full appointment roster-that means you’re actively helping people ☺️ You only have so many hours in a day.

[judylee]

I worked one time with an awful woman who had tenure. No doubt being awful is how she chased people away to give her job security. I think too often employers allow that to happen. Anyway a gym coach took me to the punching bag. I drew a stick person and it was taped to the punching bag. Then he showed me how to punch like a boxer instead of like a “girl, ” so that I didn’t hurt my wrists. Then he turned me loose to release the frustrations on that bag. It was great! To this day when things become too much I still apply that technique you’re explaining. It sure is better than beating up a person. Although some people actually do need beaten up. We have become too polite with bullies.

[creativeideator]

It may be a weird question but would you be open to doing a video about "making plans"? After being in survival mode for about 10 years, I discovered that I have difficulties formulating a plan because I suffered a lot from learned helplessness and it feels like having a blank page in front of you when it comes to "doing plans". It's not necessarily about lacking ideas or knowledge, it's really about being able to envision steps to take to get out of a specific state (emotional, situational, etc.). And thank you, great video btw. :)

[BrandonAEnglish]

It's so nice to listen to someone who is not only filled with empathy for my situation, but is also trained in dealing with it.

[schwomps]

This video has made me realize I've been in survival mode since at least 14 years old.. with all sorts of different things going on. But I'm 25 now and I'm so tired. Thankfully I've gotten closer to my sister this last year as my source of support

[candacerushing]

Suggested topic:

In this video, you mentioned cleaning up after a parent who’s a hoarder. What if our own childhood shame and blame issues manifested in hoarding behavior? I doubt I’m the only one struggling with this.

In addition to his scapegoating and rage issues, my father took great pleasure in making sure my mom, my sister and I never had ANY money. In addition, I NEVER got anything that I asked for at birthdays or Christmas. I felt such intense deprivation (not poverty, deliberate deprivation— he was an aerospace engineer).

I would go through catalogs for HOURS looking at things I wanted SO BADLY— it turned into an obsession. I wanted to make things, but I never had the money for supplies.

As an adult, this has manifested in unhealthy compulsive shopping/hoarding behavior. I’m determined to buy things I want in spite of him, and then I feel shame!

I was shamed for wanting things. (I was afraid to LOOK at a McDonald’s when we drove past, lest my father would see me and think I wanted to go there.)

Does anyone else have issues with money stemming from childhood abuse and neglect?

Thank you for what you do— I’m starting to make sense out of some things that I’ve repressed for decades.