When a Narcissist Says 'Find Someone Else'

🎉 Black Friday Offer: Empowerment Course Bundle 🎉

[i.l.]

I said this to my narcissistic husband and I did mean it from the bottom of my heart. I said it in a "mother-ish" way to get rid of him, even encouraged him to go on his dates and I helped him find an apartment and packed his stuff and everything he wanted to take with him, our bed, the tables, sofas, chairs, carpets, coffeemaker, 3 cars, tools, bedsheets, ... everything, and he was absolutley fine with it. Such a desaster of a man. I ended up in an empty house without having a car for going to work or getting my children to school 😂 but I was finaly free🎉

[amitad]

Life is hell with narcissist. Totally ruined, depressed. These persons are living monsters. Thanks for nice, wise, deep knowledge.

[apostlecarolynobayo]

It's a game of mind, emotions and feelings

[a.williams.scorpiopower]

Narcissists are so manipulative and that's one of their tactics to exploit victims. Great explanation. Thank you, Danish 🙏🏻💜

[rosalie]

It's a relief when they go with someone else. You tend to learn that person will be treated the same way as they treated you. Once you finally understand that and go NO CONTACT, grey rock or low contact you can start to feel free.

[Isabela-yr]

I don't have a problem that the narcissist left. It was my wish and it came true. Thank you God for taking out the burden off my shoulder.

[carparthero]

i was told; 'you'll never find another person like me" my response was; thank goodness for that!
narc had a surprised pikachu face and walked away tail tucked between legs.

cheers from southern ontario, canada 🍁

[Freethnkr]

Manipulation mind games & reverse psychology. When my ex wanted to discard and go play again, he told me to "Go live your life, I gotta see if this new relationship will work"...like I was some sort of child or something. He wanted me to beg for his time and attention, but he also expected me to think the relationship being over was all my fault, even though he and I both know the truth. He made the decision to walk away when I did nothing wrong and tried to do everything he asked, but narcs are never satisfied, anyone who has dealth with one knows, they can be ok today and dislike you tomorrow and you have no clue way! They make up stuff to play mind games to make you beg for their love. So I moved on, found someone else, and 6 mons later,
He says,
the new supply wasn't working out)
"He never really meant for me to actually move on"....I learned whatever they say, 99% of the time, they really mean the opposite. To anyone going through this headache with one of them, live your life like you want and be at peace! It's not worth it...

[raidenewalden]

Yes, it seems that life with the narcissist has no fulfilments, no aim no goals, no commitment, no assurance, no nothing .Sad.😢

[InU]

Mine liked to remind me how unworthy I am to be with him. We started dating at 13, married at 24 and now we’re 57. After decades of trying to be worthy, I asked him….then, why do you stay with me? Just go!
I stopped trying and now he has something else to complain to people about. It’s a lose lose situation with him. As if he just doesn’t want to be happy with me. Weirdest stuff that no one would ever believe.
Yes, I should’ve left a long time ago but he had me so twisted around that I felt completely obligated to help him be and do better….for us (really for him only) Thanks to shows like this….I understand my tormentor. It’s hard for me not to be angry at myself for not understanding what was happening. Beyond it not feeling normal, safe, loving or good.
Thank you for sharing this with my generation of “stand by your toxic man, no matter what.”

[anngarner]

OMG! So accurate, even down to the 30 year relationship!!!Your insights are astonishing. I have seen several of your other videos, and you sound as though you are detailing my life with my ex husband. Commendations to you Danish. Your descriptions of life with a Narcissist are uncannily perceptive, and helpful to those who have endured it.

[writer]

It’s a manipulation tactic so they can feel powerful, when they’re actually powerless. For years my narcissistic husband would threaten divorce and say he’ll just “take himself out of the equation.” So I left. I packed up the kids and left him. Two days later he called me, crying and missing me and the kids. Today, he’s finally showing up as he should have, and he no longer threatens to leave. Instead, when times get tough, he’ll still throw a tantrum, but he follows it with a meek “I’m working on being a better person.” Why? Because he doesn’t want to be abandoned again. (His friends and family already don’t want him.)

[fdibydt]

After the trauma of being with the narcissist which ended 4 years ago, I dont ever want another relationship, ever.

[honestpainter]

I did find somebody else I couldn’t be happier. Sent a picture to the narcissist with me and my new girlfriend. Life is good.

[DH-tpit]

Mine said all the time “if you don’t like it, find someone else“. Another one was “if you don’t like it, divorce me!“ Exactly what he is saying. I finally gave up. He passed away in January due to his drug and alcohol issues. 10 years ago we split up, it was so crushing to hear these comments said multiple times a day to me. I could never understand the cruelty and the meanness. It finally makes sense! But it does absolutely destroy you during this time.

[maljanfazilahmed]

Indeed context matters.. It shows the true intentions

[charlie-girl]

I have the same question back, we empaths can't do enough ever. We are bad also in their view

[bakaratn]

I'm among those who got BLAMED for the cheating that the other person did. And the big reveal took him 7 or 8 years to bring to light. THEN i was the bad person who tossed her wedding and engagement rings somewhere never to be seen again... WHATEVERS!!!!

[swanam_]

Yes! The context makes all the difference.

[whoopdeedoo]

My ex-narc told me this 2.5 months after I broke up with him. I was having trouble going no contact, mostly minor texting. But I did meet up with him recently in public for a hug and a short chat. He told me to find someone else, and based on how well I know him, he meant, "I know I'm a piece of shit that cheated on you over and over with my ex-gf/side chick for our entire 14-mos relationship. I can't be the decent guy you want or need."

My narc seems self-aware enough to know he did something terrible to a really good person. He just can't change. It's sad and it sucks because I thought he loved me more than anyone...he made me feel that way every day.