Why we feel lonely

It feels awful to be lonely. But somehow we seek solace in solitude. Why are these two experiences of being alone so different?

While loneliness and solitude share their basis into the same fundamental experience, the way we interact with this experience gives rise to two different mental states.

ABOUT ME

Anne-Laure Le Cunff is the founder of Ness Labs, the world's leading platform for mindful productivity, where she translates neuroscientific research into practical tools to think better, work smarter, and live happier. She is currently pursuing a Ph.D. in Psychology & Neuroscience at King's College London and is writing a book to be published by Penguin Random House in late 2024 / early 2025. Previously, she worked at Google on the Digital Health team.

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#mindfulproductivity #mentalhealth #psychology #brain

[S-Rosset]

Thank you, Anne-Laure, for this exceptional video on the difference between solitude and loneliness. The distinction between chosen solitude, which fosters creativity and personal growth, and imposed loneliness, which can cause suffering, resonates deeply right now as I go through a quieter phase and reassess my life choices. I’m surprised this video hasn’t received more engagement, as its insights are invaluable for understanding and navigating both states. Thank you again for this inspiring content!

[AlessioBattaglino]

I always thought that be alone and feel alone are two different things. I’m glad to find confirmation by watching this video. Most of time I spend physically alone is very enjoyable and I don’t feel any feeling of loneliness. I’m introvert, so I really need solitude in order in re-connect with myself and recover energies: I love social interactions, but I can't spend so much time over them, because they drain a lot of mental energies.

On the other hand, when I am surrounded by too many people (especially within large buildings, you know the typical corporate offices?), sometimes I feel alone and that’s so frustrating. I’m not sure I’m right, but I think the problem is above all the lack of emotional connections. It usually happens with strangers, because you don’t know them, or you don't know what to talk about. However, it can also happen with your family, friends or partner, because you feel misunderstood or something. By the way I also think that if you’re not fully connected with yourself, it will be so hard to truly connect with other people.

One more thing. I really like your stuff, your videos are very interesting. Why did you stop to publish on your channel? Please come back 🥰

[no-hustle]

Fascinating how being alone can stimulate the brain in different ways, depending on if we embrace it or not. Goes to show how powerful solitude is, especially to the creative endeavors many of us seek. It really is where the magic happens.

[mariannarandazzo]

Watching this video is incredibly affirming. After 65 years of a very busy, active, and productive life, I've come to appreciate my solitude. However, as you so eloquently expressed, loneliness can still find a way to creep in. It's a reminder that as humans, we naturally crave the company of others, and when that choice is taken away from us, the pain becomes all too real.

[stevesiddals]

Love it! Real depth in the analysis, leading to practical and actionable insights, and beautifully produced. Thank you Anne-Laure!

[cannellehennuyer]

Great video Anne Laure! The difference between loneliness and solitude is so well explained, thank you. PS: very cute dress :)

[GarimaSharma-co]

Sometimes I enjoy being alone and sometimes I crave for company so its hard for me to really put a fine line between both of these experiences and one is happening I tend to not remember other one 🙂

[neriomarvez]

Me gustó su explicación, muchas gracias