Ten Questions to Ask BEFORE You Choose a Trauma Therapist

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Anyone can SAY they are "trauma informed." But that doesn't mean they're aware of current research and best practices in the treatment of trauma. To help you find a knowledgable practitioner who is a fit for YOU, I've prepared this list of 10 qualities that are important in a trauma therapist; use this list to design the questions YOU'LL ask when you interview prospective counselors to determine if their services can truly help you heal symptoms of trauma.

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[jsmith]

Thanks Anna, I like the ideas on sovereignty over ourselves. It's like Internal and External locus of control where a good therapist encourages your internal /sovereignty over always having to defer to the old type of attitude that they always know best and therefore you arent encouraged to be part of your solution. That really speaks to me, we give all our power away with drs etc who don't know us and only have one take on things.

[Slowgroovin]

I look for humbleness in a therapist; someone who dresses casual and drives a Ford Taurus instead of a $100, 000 Mercedes.
I also look for someone who has personal experience, through themselves or another, with suffering from abuse and/or mental illness.
Those types of people make the best therapists.

[leamubiu]

5:07 when you do meet with a therapist you still have to ask the right questions

1. 5:45 They project honesty and confidence; not arrogant or overconfident. Knowledgeable and competent, yet open-minded, willing to learn new things.
2. 7:28 Up-to-date and broad knowledge. Do your research too.
3. 8:52 Check where their knowledge comes from; any personal experience? Do you feel comfortable with them?
4. 9:42 Check whether they can help with tools for immediate relief, not just offering platitudes and setting vague expectations.
5. 10:28 Common sense
6. 10:55 Are they goal-oriented, or story-oriented?
7. 11:26 Tools outside talking about trauma.
8. 12:02 Structured sessions
9. 12:33 Aware of dysregulation
10. 12:46 About you, not labels.
11. 12:59 Curious and respectful, not dismissive.

[joan.nao]

Earning a certificate/degree only makes them a therapist on paper, not a healed person to help others heal. Too many haven't worked enough on their own stuff & are still quite unhealthy. Really unfortunate how they can further damage those seeking their help, or just waste time/money.

[Paul]

For my CPTSD a (good) somatic therapist is what is (finally) helping. In fact I feel like my other therapists over the years should have known this would be the case not not just given me a lot of expensive BS.

[baby_d]

THANK YOU!! I am coming to the realization that I need to break up with my therapist because i do not see myself maximizing my healing with her any longer. This video is like confirmation that I’m making the right decision. You’re the best Crappy Fairy❤️❤️❤️

[altheeaself]

In my experience a lot of therapist are still bound by state laws and their licensed to practice only in the state they are licensed. ( I am in Virginia USA but I travel out of the country and the therapists in my area that I wanted to be able to see in person are not able to talk to me when I go out of VA) you can do virtual sessions only if you are physically in their state; if you go out of town they cannot help you virtually or they lose their license)

[designchik]

Great video, Anna! For me, psychotherapy helped with some things, although I’ll skip elaborating on the first psychologist who told me she could understand why I felt as though people didn’t like me because she didn’t when she first met me.😖

My other therapists were better, thankfully, and it did feel good to be validated. But I never actually GOT better or improved my life much. I kept making the same mistakes, and depression and despair were my constant companions.

After 20 years, I was finally diagnosed with BPD and did DBT and CBT for that. I improved but still felt empty and lost much of the time. Now I find out that CPTSD can be misdiagnosed as BPD and has many of the same symptoms, particularly emotional dysregulation. I feel as though I have found my tribe here with you, along with practical tools that give me hope I can heal. ❤️❤️❤️

[santanacaipirinha]

At this point I'd settle for just one of the points on this checklist. I've been insulted, belittled, misdiagnosed, cast aside and ignored by several therapists over the past decade. The one I'm with now (through my GP) shows me cartoons about the inner critic, told me the difference between us is that she deals with her life problems better because she doesn't have my "negative mindset" and was flabbergasted that I even asked if they knew of other treatments in the trauma field that I could consider. Said that was up to me to investigate and they were way too busy. It really is a minefield and you have to have the energy to keep looking, which is exactly the problem for people with CPTSD. Dysregulation (another thing my current therapist is unfamiliar with) is so draining, you usually need all the energy you can muster just to function through the day. There's not enough left for this Russian roulette of loons. I tried explaining the struggle with dysregulation and how tired I am from trying to get things done, but still failing. They said I just needed a kick in the butt and that was that.
The worst part is, the more therapists you try, the higher the chance the next one will say that you must be the problem if nothing seems to work. They're usually terrible at introspection themselves, so if their approach isn't working, it's very easy to blame it on you just being unwilling and untreatable when you just haven't found the right treatment for you yet. Be careful with this, as for some people who are already vulnerable this can be a very hard hit.

[vmm]

It's just heartbreaking to me. So many of us in the same boat and suffering every day. We need the strength and courage to not give up on healing. Thank-you Anna .

[susie]

A good start is to ask whether they know what CPTSD and HSP are. If they look at you like a deer in the headlights, even if they are a trauma "specialist", that's not a good sign. Unfortunately, many therapists charge more for the first session claiming it's for taking a history so even when they haven't heard of CPTSD, there's a cost. But better to be out one session then to be invested in therapy that could make things worse instead of better because they don't have a clue about CPTSD.

[DamePerdita]

Can’t wait to listen to this. I feel utterly crippled in life because of issues from my mother’s parenting, and have struggled with finding a therapist who is willing to talk about causes and solutions, not just my feelings of the moment.

[stevec]

Time has at least partially come to the rescue for childhood trauma sufferers. Back in the mid 50's no one had a clue that a child's acting out or other types of social dysregulation was anything but 'growing pains'. Parents had no clue; except that something was not right. As a teenager, my parents suspected this and took me to a renown psychiatrist. "Oh, he's fine...just teenage growing pains." Wrong! Years later, once for two years, then once for five, I literally wasted tens of thousands of dollars of my own money desperate to find answers to a life not fully lived. Then around the age of fifty, sitting at my computer, 'something' made me ask myself a question: could staying back a grade around the age of seven have taken me off of my 'path'?

I did an online search and broke down into a torrent of tears. The then current view of what was called childhood trauma put me square onto dozens of respected sites, with their studies a mirror of my experiences. I finally had a starting point for healing. Talk therapy never asked the one most basic question: what was my belief system? When I bravely asked myself that question, the answer revealed a broken and isolated and tortured mindset.

It is now two decades since my epiphany moment. My self-guided healing has me on a good path. Your channel has been very helpful to me; and shown me that one need not uncover every hidden aspect of one's past trauma in order to be on a better path today. Yet I know that, for me, the healing process could not start until I at least understood the root cause of my dysfunctions.

[davespark]

I got a 3hr deep tissue massage from a chinese lady, she dug her heels into my back omg God bless that woman, but anyway my point is we carry so much tension and stress in our bodies, yesterday was the first time ever i could sleep so freely without pain and i felt OLD OLD stressful memories dissolvimg away and i felt like a new person 🙏👍... i fell asleep listening to music and i could take it in without being bitter or resentful about something... not many people can endure the discomfort of deep tissue, but if you can i say you should go get one ! If you do it, have water near you in case you feel nauseous, if theyre doing their job right you should feel nauseous lol and take deep breaths !or else youll see stars nad be lighr headed.
But seriously, half of my bad thoughts prior to this i know came from discomfort and body pain...

[dlight]

My experience with a therapist and me trying to deal with trauma when it increases my anxiety when it stresses me out when it's starting to affect my body... tensing things up or intrusive thoughts ... distracting me.. this therapist was good she introduced several techniques to deal with this such as breathing exercises, bring me back into the present exercises, and other things I can apply in my life

[pheona]

Thank you for this video. Recently, I spent 7 years with a therapist who admitted to running into a roadblock when it came to my trauma. I interviewed him for the job of my therapist before hand and I was assured his trauma training was extensive. Eventually, he said that we could still meet for social anxiety issues.... which stem from trauma. 😒 7 yrs. Many things you say resonates with me, but at one point you said that no matter how informed they are, each experience is different. I guess he thought my trauma was going to be easy.

[wr]

I love ur work. Never stop. Havent listened yet, but with CPSTD, PTSD, anxiety, depression, sleep disorder, INFJ, old soul, earth angel, empath issues and my constant life struggles from childhood, early years of rejection and abandonment, anger, rage, suicidal issues, i always wondered what the point was in repeating my story to a therapist or psychiatrist if they couldn't solve me. Surely i had thought of everything allready. Being highly intelligent and sensitive, off cause I knew and understood and researched my trauma, healing, and personality issues and why I still walk alone. Had i not been reborn and saved in Christ, i would have left this ugly world long ago. But i understand my purpouse here. That its painful and hazardous and dangerous and made me dangerous and dark, but light with love and compassion in contrast, is true. Id much rather listen to u and channels understanding who i am because of who they are... and u are. We all speak from the same experiences and level, whilst the rest of the world refuses to get us. So why waste your time and energy on trying for them to understand and accept me unconditionally? Nah, that's been over long long ago and continues every day....thank you lovely Fiary😘❤

[RoadRunnergarage]

I find that if I talk about the hurts too much I get sick and tired of it... It can promote flashbacks too...

[jenifferdavies]

I guess I feel relieved about seeing how many people have seen therapists that did not work out over a long period of time. I am not the only one with a problem and it is sad because you can spend so much money. I am 62 and have never found the right therapists. I even had one who traumatized me greatly. That was my last one. At this point I will work with stuff on my own, look at videos, try alanoon. One parent alcoholic, the other narcissist.

[RoadRunnergarage]

I've been through several therapists until I found my current therapist that has been a good fit for me...