Why You Can’t Connect With Anyone

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#howtomakefriends #socialanxiety #selfimprovement

Timestamps:
You Can't Really Connect With Anyone: 0:00
What Does It Mean To "Connect" With Someone?: 1:22
The First Reason You Can't Connect: 5:16
The Second Reason You Can't Connect: 8:44
You'll Still Have A Hard Time Connecting: 12:59
How To Explore The Depths Of Yourself: 13:26
How To Stop Being Socially Anxious: 14:25

Topics: How to connect with people,

[yohaizilber]

Make people feel heard.... The key point is this: People dont always remember what you say, they remember how you MADE THEM FEEL.

[denisethegood]

I can rarely relax next to someone - it always feels like an act, I feel my brain working like an old 90’s PC, processing what is said, trying to choose correct answer back, how much and what to share … then my PC heats up, and I start to overshare, make jokes others might not get or like, and when the interaction ends, I will go over it over and over again for days, weeks, even years 😢

[Gagetydavis]

For me, being vulnerable and unapologetically yourself has helped my relationships drastically over the last year.

[elinope]

I can turn on superficial social mode but honestly it feels like babysitting. There are certain human rituals you can use to connect. Eat together, sing together, walk together, dance together, laugh together and cry together. These are universal.

[fibraaa]

I dont think im the weird one, ppl are the weird one’s. They judge very easily but yet society demands authenticity, this is what you would usually call a double standard

[kolterveras]

You’ll never connect with anyone if you don’t connect with yourself first bros. Take some time (this can take a while, but you CAN do it and it WILL be worth it) to dive deep into YOURSELF and understand your own life and internal struggles, then build a plan to overcome those struggles. Through that growth, you will start connecting with people naturally.

[eanderson]

Whenever Cole says “let me know if this sounds familiar”, you know you’re about to get roasted

[Jazzmaster]

Honestly, I think part of it is realizing that everyone around you is a complex individual with their own thoughts, feelings, and unique and nuanced life experiences. Their ability to open up and articulate in a way that works well with you notwithstanding, everyone around you has lived life up until this very moment. You're not going to connect with everyone no matter what you do, and that's fine. But for me it helps to remember everyone has something going on and isn't necessarily "boring" for not wanting to talk and open up. Nobody owes me anything, and life isn't all about me.

[thisissophiaisabelle]

We admire the fact that Cole continues on doing what he’s deeply passionate about. This is inspiring to see. As someone who does have a bit of social anxiety, I can relate to what’s going on in here. We thank him for all his hard work, consistency and effort.

[somber]

I just gave up and accepted Im not a people pleaser, and that I was born to be alone and independent. I just hate the feeling of interacting with people especially if its small talk. I will only talk to someone if it necessary and I'm the type of person to not open up easily (Im traumatized by reality). Its not a bad thing nor a good thing. Just something thats a part of who I am. and Im proud of it

[CaldoHits]

Damn, hit the nail right on the end. I'm emotionally unavailable and I've realised that I've lost interest in being around people.

I don't dislike people or find them shallow. I just don't have the need for being social. Which I know for sure makes me hard to connect with.

[highsol]

I always have an extremely difficult time connecting with "normal" people because even if we do hit it off due to having common interests, those people still facilitate bad habits for me. It's not the people's fault though, except when the issue is them constantly complaining. I'm either too attached or completely disconnected. I just feel like I want something different most of the time, not "normal people stuff." Maybe I'll vibe better with aliens. Joking, but it's how I feel. I disconnect to run from "normal" and mediocrity.

[coltenkelso]

It’s really hard to think someone isn’t out to get you. It almost feels like people are literally putting a target on your back.

[cole]

Number 2 totally resonated with me. I'm 27 and I grew up in a home with my parents constantly constantly arguing around my sister and I for years. It's actually negatively affected the way I see marriage and having my own family.

[marcust]

The biggest turn off, when YOU THINK and YOU FEEL a real connection but the other person is like...MEH.

[cdiessner]

Was just talking about some of these things in therapy. It's pretty surreal how you can resonate with people just at the right time, but that's just a testament to how well you understand yourself.

[Giuseppe_]

I think it’s that we often communicate in a professional/superficial way. Rather than truly being present, out of our own head and able to communicate with enough self awareness to navigate what we actually want out of these interactions.

[Onepieceistheworstanime]

I relate to that skit at the start. I just can't have deep conversations with anyone due to how uninterested they are but oh well.

[gotinogaden]

Sometimes it has to do with your family background. Being raised by a narcissistic person, you are more or less taught look for and focus on other people's flaws, ignore your own, elevate your own opinions above others, and make snap judgements about the people around you. The kind of judgements that seal the entrance to anyone else's own little world. You really have to work on this in order to create a genuine connection with anyone, at least until you realize that you aren't perfect, and neither is anyone else.

[majinchu]

Your videos always put me in a positive mindset after a day of overthinking bad things. Thanks homie