5 red flags you are gaslighting yourself.

[alwayscold]

I am so grateful you make these videos. 💜 as a survivor of NA. Thank you Jim

[llkellenba]

I’ve finally learned when the pattern in a relationship ends up in constant questioning of my experience, feelings, actions and worth I know that it’s bad for me. Stop trying to figure it out or “fix” myself. Walk away.

[aking]

Many times this started in childhood to cover up trauma & neglect...

[buelan.]

I grew up always asking myself: “what’s wrong with me?” I’m 69 and I still tend to doubt and question myself. I’ve been very fortunate to have had an excellent therapist I did some very difficult, very deep work with and a dear friend who always counters my doubts. We’re it not for God’s grace, these people would not have been in my life and I’m sure I would have completely self-destructed long ago. And, I grew up with my mom discounting my feelings and perceptions, a narcissistic older sister, and a bipolar one. Thank God my malignant narc father abandoned us when I was ten.

[anjou]

You use the word 'invalidation' quite alot, and i appreciate that. It's a very useful word. I've written it down. 👍🧡🌿

[anjou]

This is so intelligent, so spot on. Denial is a tough one to face ! 👍🌱💥

[sasto]

Jim, Thank you so much for your work here.

[ricardohuerta]

Had a ex moving things around saying your crazy 😧 thank God for cameras. 🤣🤬😱

[JennyB]

I have a neighbor that gets on my last nerve with crap nice and then not . I definitely need to improve on my boundaries with those two .

[victoriapalferez-siri]

Then is not self gaslighting but continuation of gaslighting abuses done from outside us. Like friends, family and classmates is what I understand is not such thing as gaslighting yourself.

[beastshawnee]

To cover Dad’s abuse…Mom would say these things:
A) Your Dad has had a hard life. He is in constant never ending pain. He is an artist so…It’s not his fault, etc etc. (HE was the victim.
b) You are too:
Loud
Dramatic
aggressive
fat
messy physically
Lazy.
annoying.
disruptive. ( So it’s YOUR fault the abuse happened.)
NOW I see that not only did she ignore the abuse, cover up the abuse-she actively participated in TRIGGERING his abuse when she needed quiet. And she craved quiet. She was a teacher so noisy kids all day-who wants noisy kids at night?!
It was also the social times back then and people spanked. Almost every kid got hit occasionally. BUT We got Beat daily even if I was good-and I was! I had scrupulosity to the max. I tried to be so good-But NOTHING was good enough. They used me as a child slave because I was female. They ignored my serious medical needs. Now I can see it all clearly but now I am in my 60’s. I share this to help others figure it out sooner. I was controlled by Mom laying guilt on me for decades. I finally went no contact thinking I would die from the guilt. Instead I felt better every single day that passed. Now I know that I was never any of those things she called me. I thought I was an extremely obese child. My own daughter looked at my childhood photos and said “where are the pictures where you were fat?” I said all of them but when I looked all I saw was a slim – average looking kid. I was never fat. reclaim your own identity and define yourself. I really like myself now and when I start having doubts I stop and ask myself whose words am I hearing? And then I know it’s just my mom talking bad about me. it’s complicated because I still love mom in someways but I do not respect those parts of her. My dad I hated since early childhood. He clearly was a narcissistic psychopath. He tried to murder me more than one time. and she knew.

[Aintbovvered]

Or you have adhd and anxiety together and you seriously don’t remember what has happened in your own life. This is exactly how it feels and what you start to do, even though there is no one else messing with you.
Don’t get me wrong, There are nutso people out there, for sure, but if you have adhd and anxiety, the affect is very similar, even without them.
Therapy is a big help, either way. also, put up cameras if you suspect someone of gaslighting you.
Stay safe folks!

[christinaescajeda]

Theres nothing wrong with me im ok I just need to be kinder to self and have more conpassion for myself first

[happybergner]

What about when my reality consists of FACTS? How then can I be gaslighting myself?