Small Talk Can Make You Happier. Here's How to Master it.

I don't like small talk or talking to strangers as much as the next person reading this comment – but since I dove into this research, I've made an effort to include more human interactions in my everyday, and it's not as terrifying as you may think! From networking events to parties or even hanging out at a cafe, there are lots of places where you either *have to* or have the opportunity for conversation. I hope these how to tips give you a little more to work with. Go forth and communicate wisely.

REFERENCES 📚
The Liking Gap

Speed-Dating Study
Huang, K., Yeomans, M., Brooks, A. W., Minson, J., & Gino, F. (2017). It doesn’t hurt to ask: Question-asking increases liking. Journal of personality and social psychology, 113(3), 430.

Sandstrom, G. M., & Dunn, E. W. (2014). Is efficiency overrated? Minimal social interactions lead to belonging and positive affect. Social Psychological and Personality Science, 5(4), 437-442.

[braincraft]

Raise your hand if you still hate small talk 🙋🏻‍♀️


What's that, you would rather stare at your phone? Me too! But after researching this video, I've started to but more effort into random conversations and talking to strangers in the right contexts. And, I promise that after some practice, it's not as terrifying as you might think. Even for an anxious Australian. As always, thanks for watching! 🧠

[thenomad]

Man I suck at those follow-up questions. My brain freezes and I just say 'oh, nice'.

[GeneWaddle]

I am seldom more uncomfortable than when engaged in small talk. I find it quite boring and pointless.

[warren]

I'd rather talk to a person's dog than the person themself 😜

[Sopherian]

Swimming with sharks seem way more interesting and fun to me, than small talk with strangers. 😂

[IceMetalPunk]

Thing is, between my anxiety and the fact that I have trouble staying engaged in conversations about topics I'm not interested in (of which there are only a small subset: music, superhero movies, TV shows, and science), small talk with strangers is just a small panic attack waiting to happen. If I'm in a large crowd, I'll either stick close to my friends or pull out my phone. I may not even actually be paying attention to my phone, it's just a way to look like I'm doing something so I'm not standing there awkwardly.

[Scrapio]

I just don't go to parties. That way I don't have to talk to people. Anyone, even people I know.
I'll talk to dolphins though, they're very nice

[redhammer]

I think talking to strangers is fun and usually quite rewarding. its forcing small talk with the same group of people constantly that bothers me.

[Starcrash]

I wonder if "the liking gap" is a problem in self-reporting. When you tell a pollster what you think _other people_ would think in your shoes, you're likely to be more truthful than when you tell them what _you_ think in your own shoes... even anonymously, people tend to lie about their personality to make themselves seem like better people. So are people perhaps telling the surveys that they liked other people more than they did in order to not seem selfish or mean? It's something to consider.

[gamalkhaled]

I can't express how perfect this video timing is thank you XD

[angelus_solus]

Small talk does not make me happy. I find it exhausting. I'd rather discuss deeper topics that have more connection and meaning.

[GVaq]

I find it easier to ask if the person has any pets, if they do I'd ask for some pictures because many pet owners adore their pets, if not I'd ask if they ever wanted one or if they are allergic.


Either way it's simple a straightforward question.

[drophy]

Talking to strangers seems like it could be fun. My main issue, though, is with how to actually start talking to them. I'm guessing "Hi, I'm x", "Hi, I'm y", "So... what do you do for fun?" isn't _exactly_ how it's supposed to go? I always feel like I need a decent reason/excuse to start talking to people, such as "Hey, did you do problem 7 from the calculus hw? Cause I couldn't :("

[dynamickhaoss]

Yeah but when people ask me stuff during small talk it gets awkward because my life is just work, and home. I have no time for other stuff

[ZahriAlang]

I've always been talking about the little things with my friends, even with random people. My repertoire of small talk would include global warming, the recent news(usually regarding crimes), their opinions regarding what things are worst, scarier(typical sleepover QnAs), trivias and of courses; hobbies and interests

[Ali_Hussain]

This is going to be useful when uni starts.

[shirosenshiesq]

I blame the increase in reliance on phones. I'm not that old, but I grew up without phones and tablets. Making small talk was how you entertained yourself if you didn't have a book, and you definitely didn't turn up to a party with a book. That was the point of parties, pubs, bars - to enjoy yourself, meet people. Millennials and younger need to put down their devices and learn to engage with people face to face again.

[duchi]

*I'd rather stare mindlessly at my phone*
thank you very much

[ApashePelican]

I think of myself as a very boring person, I have topics I would like to discuss, but I never know how to lead to them, I don't know how to start a conversation. And when I do, I think I'm boring the other person, no matter the topic

[Secret_Takodachi]

The trouble isn't that I'm concerned other people don't like me.
The trouble IS that I don't like other people. Most people I meet live such privileged and/or isolated lives that their entire existence is basically just "a dozen shades of the same single color"

Then, a lot of the people with more diverse backgrounds & experiences are so enamored in their own existence that they're also just obsessed with continuing to "collect experiences" in very artificial & superficial ways.

I grew up welding, went to school for psychology, became an EMT, and currently work as a fitness instructor. Most people opt for comfortable lives rather than interesting ones. That's why most people who enjoy small talk lead small boring little lives. Even the one with money & "experiences" live in a sad little bubble that no amount of travel spending can ever help them escape from.