Why narcissists feel threatened when you become successful

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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.

THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.

[butterflyqueen]

I've noticed with the few narcissists I've dealt with, if they accuse you of something they most likely done it.

[akingbadeoluwakemi]

Double tragic when you don't have genuine people in your life to share your success with 😥

[whyneed]

My mother has never congratulated me. She once bragged about my success to a friend of hers while I was there. I thought she cared until I realized she was using it for attention on herself.

[nabyobrian]

My mother is the epitome of the jealous narcissist. She put roadblocks throughout my life and never supported me in anything. On top of that she always told me that I was so ugly that no man would ever marry me. Today I am happily married and on the way towards getting my degree

[alo]

If someone cuts down and disparages our success, or makes it all about them, there's something wrong with them, not us. Normal people don't go around destroying other human beings.

[Melodyinthe]

When I was a teenager and studying classical music, my parents sat me down to have an official "talk" with me. My father stated flat out that the only way any female in a creative field experienced success was if they slept their way to success. He then asked me if I that's what I wanted to be - a whore. I knew at the time his thinking was messed up and later in my 20s I intuited that he felt threatened. It's so affirming to hear a professional mention this statement as an example of narcissism. I can also confirm from first-hand experience that narcissistic parents can be threatened by young children - mine were.

[julieclarke]

This is so true even with a mother or father figure who is a narcissist. I'll never forget the time I graduated from college and how my dad made it seem like it he was the one who helped me finish up schooling. On top of that he even mentioned how I should be grateful that he took me out to lunch after the ceremony. My success was never celebrated and instead blown off like it was not a high deal. This is just one of the examples. It's been hard because it is difficult to accept that your parent will never celebrate any of your successes

[drewsibleyloans]

Dr. Ramani you're so valuable. Thank you for healing all of us!

[LDTY]

"At some point you gotta go home and share it with your narcissist." Actually no, you don't. Kick their ass to the curb and find yourself an actual partner who loves and is proud of you!

[katalinmcewan]

When I told my narc that I was expanding my business and just hired the first employee he wouldn’t even look at me and pretended that he didn’t hear it.

[MsLuvmusic]

the narc congratulated me but acted funny afterwards - don't fall for it lol

[ericacaa]

This really hit home! The more i succeed, the more he acted up and tried to ruin my joy in succeeding. Thank god we are no longer together and now i can enjoy my wonderful life

[firefeethok_tui]

A child has such a difficult time when they realize their mother doesnt want the best for them, competes (even at ages 11 or 12) with them and will verbally abuse you to keep you from doing well. The child start trying to please, behave and degrade themselves to get love from a mother incapable of love anyway. Its such a horrible thing to live, stomach aches all the time, poor sleep, puzzling all the time to make her happy. And when you talk about it as an adult, Usually because you have to defend yourself because your mother is criticizing you incessantly, and at some point when youre an adult you finally say WTF... it’s a wonder I’m not crazy the way you were treated. And the narc mother then teaches you all about gaslighting. It’s a lifelong education if you have a narcissistic person in your life as a family member. It takes until about middle-age in my opinion to figure it out. And that after a few broken hearts.

[carolschurter]

Can you do a video on “Why are there SO many narcissists in the world?” Looking at the plethora of comments everywhere, it amazes me how rampant this issue is. It’s too bad they don’t have NPD education in schools.

[debbiebyrum]

That reminds me of the day I completed my masters degree in Education and my narcissistic ex-husband simply said, “well any idiot can get a masters degree” and suddenly it didn’t feel so good anymore. This was typical. They seem to resent our success. Resentment is the word I like to use to describe their reaction to our success.

[AshaGlenn]

Growing up with a narcissistic mom was hard because I definitely learned how to hide my success, but I'm extremely blessed in that I did not marry a narcissistic person. In fact he's the extreme opposite. He's an extremely good person. He supports me in everything I do, and celebrates my success immensely. And it is the weirdest thing ever.😂 But I am so so grateful for him. Like every single day.

[bluebutterfly]

My ex kind of did an inverse of this. He confessed that he was secretly happy when I had been laid off from my job because then we could "be together" (like, long term). He wanted to control my finances, transportation, where I lived...everything. So I dropped him and got a better job, thank God.

[Bahbahlatje]

I attracted attacks when I succeeded in my career. When I graduated from grad school with a 4.0 gpa, my father focused on why I didn't have a PhD. When I was sworn in for my career, my father refused to show up. He then came up with an excuse to disown me for 10 years. A few years later, he reached out to my boyfriend to undermine my relationship behind my back. I eventually went no contact. I used to hide my awards. Now I take them out and celebrate them.

[newleaf]

My narc mother started sabotaging me when I was 5. I had won an award for being the best reader in the school.
She insulted me after the ceremony. It as a total gut punch, but I thought to myself, "Well I'll show her."

She made me determined to keep going in spite of her. Eventually I had to learn to pursue my dreams to make myself happy rather than prove her wrong.

What you said about narcs turning others' success into a sad sack story is so true. Every single time I had a need of any kind, my mother's response was, 'Well maybe I'd like to get that too. I'm never going to get what I want."

And speaking of cheating, narc mothers do this to their daughters too. They find someone your age and similar in some ways, and will put their time and energy into supporting them while continuing to neglect and ignore you. I worked at the same place as my mother for a few years. When I started doing well, she would connect with other women my age at work and go out of her way to mentor them. I did well without her mentorship - frankly I ignored her terrible, negative, self-serving advice and she resented that I didn't want to be like her.

And one final thing - when she knew she couldn't get away with crapping on or sabotaging my success, she'd make it about her to take credit. It was never MY success, but only the result of the genes I inherited.

Honestly how can other people cater to someone who would do that to her own child?

[Anoppinion]

My best friend started to cry when I told her I was in love. Ended up me comforting her instead of being This pattern kept repeating up until now. I have lost 3 friends after I learned how toxic our friendship has been.. Thank you for this life changing knowledge❤️