Therapist Reacts to ADHD in ELF

Buddy the Elf is hilarious to watch, but what would it be like to actually live with someone like him? Well, it would be a lot like parenting a kid with ADHD. Or really any high-energy kid.

Licensed therapist Jonathan Decker and filmmaker Alan Seawright talk parenting tips, how they deal with their own ADD, and what we can learn from Will Ferrell's and James Caan's characters in Elf.

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Cinema Therapy is:
Written by: Megan Seawright, Jonathan Decker and Alan Seawright
Produced by: Jonathan Decker, Megan Seawright & Alan Seawright
Edited by: Alan Seawright
Director of Photography: Bradley Olsen

[CinemaTherapyShow]

Hi everyone! Jonathan here, just getting in front of this. Adults diagnosed with Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder likely won't resemble Buddy the Elf. Because of the childlike nature of the character, what he demonstrates is an exaggerated, comedic version of what ADHD looks like in kids.

In this episode we cover more of what it's like to parent an ADHD child, give practical advice, and offer research-based hope. For those who are curious, to qualify for ADHD one most demonstrate five or more symptoms of both inattention and hyperactivity (according to the DSM-V).

With inattention, Buddy displays 1) difficulty sustaining attention [the doctor's office] 2) fails to follow through on tasks and instructions [doesn't meet established standards in toy-making] 3) is easily distracted [throughout the film] 4) avoids/dislikes tasks requiring sustained mental effort [again, toy-making], though it should be said he CAN maintain attention if he's excited or passionate about something, and 5) lacks attention to detail [slow on the uptake with a LOT of things about life outside the North Pole, but again not with things he's excited about].

With hyperactivity, Buddy is 1) "on the go" as if driven by a motor, 2) talks excessively 3) blurts out answers 4) interrupts or intrudes on others and 5) has difficulty engaging in quiet, leisurely activities.

As we discuss in the episode, there are many ways for persons with ADD and ADHD to thrive and excel in life. Both Alan and I have ADD, and we know that path very well :) Those looking for support and guidance may wish to consult a psychologist for individual therapy.

[RAIN.E.]

"LADIES 😏"
"NO, Dont Do That!"
"GENTLEMEN 😏

[mialucilas.]

"'You must be creative.' No! I have a chemical imbalance."
As an artist with ADHD who writes, draws, dances, does theater, cosplays, and sings, truer words have never been spoken.

[sima]

I was around 12 or 13 when this movie came out. I remember my mom hating it because according to her, Buddy acted like a "little brat". The thing is growing up I was constantly holding back the urge to act like this because she had made it very clear that doing so was not only wrong but disrespectful towards her.

She always says I was such a well-behaved child, but what I've always been hesitant to tell her was that I had no real idea what was deemed as bad behavior unless someone directly told me and at that point, it was too late. So I figured the best thing I could do was just sit down and be quiet.

[freelanceangel]

"It's attention MISMANAGEMENT disorder" YES THANK YOU. As someone with ADHD, that is a constant struggle to make people understand.

[madcat]

Fun fact in case you didn’t know: the whole scene where Buddy gets to New York was shot in one day with a camera following Will Ferrell (in character) interacting with random people on the street.

[loganprescott]

“ you must be creative.”

“No. I have a chemical imbalance.” I can picture the look of confusion on my art teacher’s face.

[TickettheMoon]

When I explain my ADHD to people, and what my needs are, I say, “I can either sit still or listen, you can’t have both.” My body can usually be still if my mind is allowed to wander. But if I need to be focused and engaged in something that doesn’t already include physical activity, it’s best if I have something to do with my hands, like crocheting or drawing. That keeps part of my brain busy so the rest of it can listen in a meaningful way.

[yvaincallipso]

As someone who repeatedly got told to stop being so sensitive/loud/annoying by everyone they knew as a kid, including my parents, and in the process of being diagnosed with ADHD as an adult, the part where they say to embrace and encourage that side of your kids made me cry.

[Scented_Shadow]

When he said people with ADHD tend to excel as therapists, I got a little happy. I am a master student psychology with ADHD :)

[BantheBans]

"Am I sick?"
"Yes, but that's not why we're here" 🤣 such an underrated line

[jenniferthomson]

My son was not diagnosed with Asphergers and ADD until the 10th grade. His H.S. guidance councilor said he was lazy. I told her she was full of crap. I said "I know lazy. Lazy does not build a complete beach scene with mountains, water, stores (including a costume shop) out of loose legos." I had him tested that year and he drastically improved. Did find out about 6 months after this comment that the school had put him in a class that he had not had a pre-req for. So his failing grade was not because of lazy or ADD or Asphergers but because the school put him in a class that he should have never been in.

[LittleHobbit]

ADHDers: I've connected the two dots.
Neurotypicals: You didn't connect shit.
ADHDers: I've connected them.

Thank you, Alan, for explaining this condition in meme format.😂

[xXjulesXx]

“Have you ever hit a tree with a stick? It’s life changing!” Ok my mom said so much stuff like this to my ADHD having self as a kid

[jessicawood]

ADHD nurse here (diagnosed as an adult). The inability to tune out all the beeps on the Med-Surg floor is both a blessing and a curse. Blessing: I notice when someone's IV pump is not functioning because I hear the beep and I must find the beep and make it stop because I can't do my other work, AKA charting, until I make the beep stop. Also, I am the quickest to answer a call light because otherwise, the beeps will continue, and that little part of my brain is always thinking "what if it's a little old lady who might try to climb out of bed and break her other hip if I don't answer this call light." And sometimes, I do find a creative way to make things work when we don't have the exact device we need for a specific patient's specific need.

Curse: we do occasionally get a patient who will be on their call light every few minutes like the boy who cried wolf, and it completely takes me away from what I am "supposed to be doing". It also makes prioritizing very difficult because to an ADHD person "everything" is important.

[AxeltheRed]

The scene where his dad asks "What do you want, money?!" and he responds "No, I just wanted to get to know you." I relate to it so hard as someone who grew up without ever meeting his dad and when he finally did, the dad wanted nothing to do with him. And in the same way he just assumes his dad would be so happy to meet him and be with him, I've likewise had that feeling of "But....you're my dad. I'm your only son. Don't you want to know me?"
I love this movie to death but it does hit me in very real ways that I only wish I had the optimism and cheerfulness Buddy does.

[mandymaclean]

I've actually responded "no, I've got a chemical imbalance" heaps of times when people hear I have anxiety and they tell me to just "stop worrying."

[Mewz]

"Ladies..."
"No, don't do that, I don't want-"
"Gentlemen..."

I laughed so hard omfg

[lucennastryker]

It's so cool hearing you guys talk so positively about ADD and ADHD. One of my best friends has ADD and she says that one of her biggest frustrations with how ADD is perceived and understood is that it's so often characterized by how it affects the people around the person with ADD or ADHD. Like, a lot of people think about ADD in a "oh this person is going to be a lot to handle, oh they're going to have so much energy that I'll have to help manage" and instead of characterizing things from the person's point of view, it's characterized by the perspectives of the people around the person with ADD or ADHD. That's why I love this so much, because you guys are combatting the kinds of misconceptions my friend has spent most of her life battling against. You guys give a voice to something that is so often deeply misunderstood. My friend is one of the smartest people I know and people like you advocating for people like her make it that much easier for her to live her life exactly as she is (with Adderall).

[deltaloraine]

I also noticed another psychological theme in this movie, the struggle of finding and healing your inner child.

Buddy had a child-like personality, filled with innocence, wonder, and excitement, with a high tolerance for when things don’t go right. Meanwhile his new family, coworkers, love interest, and the strangers he met…all had lost connection with their inner child, becoming cogs in the machine in adult society. They learned the best way to get through is to keep their heads down and just do what they are told, leaving behind personal happiness, joy, and creativity…everything that makes life worth living. Buddy being loud and unashamed of his passions in a world that tries to limit him in a box like everyone else, shows people around him that it’s okay to be yourself, no matter what others say. And slowly, he starts to ignite the hearts of the people he cares about, waking their inner child again, reminding them of what life should feel like and not to take things too seriously.

It really makes me emotional when I watch this movie, because I have someone in my life that reminds me of Buddy, and I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for them.