Therapist Answers Most Googled Questions About ADHD

Join us as I address the most commonly Googled questions about ADHD. In this video, we aim to provide comprehensive answers to the queries frequently searched by individuals seeking insights into Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD).

ADHD is a widely discussed but often misunderstood condition that affects people of all ages. In this exploration, we'll dive into the most Googled questions, ranging from the symptoms and diagnosis to treatment options and daily management techniques.

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[debraperry]

It's almost never mentioned that ADHD is way under-diagnosed because it presents differently in girls than it does in boys. Girls with ADHD are often not hyperactive. They are more often inattentive, and just get labeled with 'lazy, ' and 'troublemakers.' If they tell people they need help, they're dismissed and told to try harder. Whole lives are wasted because they can't get the help they need because they're not taken seriously. It is a real issue, and it needs to be made known so people stop dismissing girls and women so they can get the help they need.

[andginisin]

11:54 I got perfect grades in school, honor roll all through college. I would stay up until 2-3 AM every single night and mostly sleep through the day. Parents didn’t care because oh wow what a studious child. I never socialized outside of school so I had no baseline for how long homework was supposed to take. But my grades were so good! Now I can’t hold down a job. Can’t do my laundry. Can’t clean up, can’t hold appointments. Can’t remember people’s names. Can’t remember what day it is. Life with adhd is hell. I swear to god if one more person tells me it’s a hidden superpower

EDIT: Returning to this thread after a while. First off, thank you everyone for such heartfelt and thoughtful comments. This has been so productive for me to re-examine.
Second, when I wrote this I was in poor spirits and I’m happy to say that I’ve been doing much better as of late. I’m taking steps to improve my life and I’m excited to see where my next steps take me. Thanks for all the support and advice.

[soultrueskrlifelong]

2 comments on how it feels to have ADHD from my experience (24M). Hopefully people can relate!

1. Trying to complete tasks at work/school with ADHD is like telling someone they can only focus on something while they hold their breath. At first maybe you can get a few minutes at a time, and only that, but then later on in the day you struggle to even get 30 second bursts of focus because you’re exhausted from all the “effort” you’ve had to put forth - you’re “out of breath” if you will.

2. Most people advise “just get started, that’s the hardest part. Once you’re over that hump, it’s usually a breeze!” Except with ADHD, there’s a hump every 5 minutes - not just one at the start. That resistance most people experience when starting something, you experience throughout the entire task - unless it’s something you’re genuinely interested in, then you don’t always have that problem. But then, teachers, parents, managers, etc. will look at that and say “See! You’re smart, just do what you did for that!” Like yeah, don’t you think I’d love to do that?

It genuinely doesn’t feel like a choice anymore, but it always comes across like you’re dumb, lazy, uninterested, or simply that you don’t want to try. It’s like you “can’t” do it, all while being fully capable.

[meepmooorp]

I remember in high school I found out it took all my friends 30mins-2hours MAX to take history notes. It took me 6 hours minimum. 💀 the “god why am I so incompetent” thought process really hits home. Thanks for making videos like this <3

[Syneh]

I was an undiagnosed adhd primary school girl in the 90's and I vividly remember looking around at all the other kids doing the assignment and wondering how the hell they were able to do it. Not knowing that you have adhd is a ridiculously and honestly hellishly confusing life in so many ways.

[businessisboomin]

Let me say that you're very articulate and a video talking about articulation and the skill of expressing thoughts through writing and speaking would be an epic video.

[legerdemain]

Theory for the "why more ADHD now?" question:

ADHD (and "ADD") diagnosis biases for childhood diagnosis. Those kids are the grownups now. They're the parents and teacher and principals and counselors and pediatricians now. Gen-x is the first to be widely diagnosed in childhood, so they weren't diagnosed by adults who had the experience of also having been diagnosed in childhood.

That ought to change recognition rates.

[mashatipikin]

I went undiagnosed until I was almost 26. Can we talk about how emotional dysregulation can stem from ADHD? Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed by a million emotions at once that I go from laughing to crying to feeling numb in the span of thirty seconds.

[zacharymetcalf]

Going through school with ADHD was everything you described here, but one thing that made it worse for me is that I was told by adults to not say I have ADHD, and use it as a crutch to answer for my short comings.

[ron]

I'm 38. I've battled ADHD fairly successfully these past 15ish years or so, and damn...this video. It's so on point.

One of the things that I do, that everyone does is we forget how hard things were, and how much we've grown. This video without question is definitely giving me harsh flashbacks and appreciation for my younger self.

Yep, I coasted until I was 18 until I was diagnosed. I was smart enough to get by without effort, until I wasn't.

His description at the end is why I didn't finish college. I took a two year tech program, many of my peers went on to finish that two year program, then finish a 4 year degree and get their engineering degree. I lasted long enough to finish that first 1 year. Couldn't do the next year. Tried twice. Tried another field in a tech program 12 years later. Same thing. Tried the second year twice. Couldnt get through it. I did however get a job in the field in that very first program I took, and if I didn't I would probably be dead.

But let me tell you, my industry isn't big. I've worked with some of those guys who went on to get their PEng. They have different skills than I do in our profession, but my specific skills are on par with theirs (meaning, I can hold a conversation with them now and still feel like I'm on equal footing). I take pride in it, and I strive to do even better. Far cry from who I used to be.

Its taken everything for me to get here. I've gone through depression (those meds are not a good idea for me), I took me years of reflection, introspection, and learning new skills to adapt. I wasn't worthy to myself let alone a prospective partner.

But all the growth I've had, I'm now doing much better. I enjoy my job that I fly all over the country to do. I have a wife and kid. I'm not rich, but I'm not without. I never would have imagined the kid who couldn't get a girlfriend, couldn't hold a job, couldn't finish school would be where I'm standing.

My tips for young ADHDers:
1. Go to tech school, none of that 4 year stuff. Do a job that requires your brain and your body. When you're young, you'll be expected to do more physical, as you get older, it's your brain that becomes valuable.
2. Learn your values. Dont try to change them until you identify them. Learn what they actually are and not what you want them to be. You will have to learn how to not lie to yourself.
3. Learn to live in the moment, and if you're concerned about it being an impulsive/make bad decision, recognize you can never make a bad decision if you adhere to your values. You can have bad consequences, but you have no reason for regret.
4. Find tools that work for you. Write out what you intended to accomplish every day at the beginning of every day. Don't focus on if you succeed or not. Just practice. As you keep making those lists it gets easier to do them.
5. Mindfulness is essential. Inject positivity wherever and whenever you realize negativity creeping in. Even if it seems like bs.
6. Write a journal every day, only review what you wrote once a year. At the end of each entry, write what you're grateful for.
7. Strive to do great at whatever you do, even if it sucks. Never measure yourself to another person. You can learn something from everyone, but you also don't need to take on other people's misery.
8. Learn and pay attention to the important things that need to be done urgently, even if they aren't urgent. I will prioritize things that aren't high priority because that's how they get done. People think I'm incredibly organized and conscientious, when I'm not.

Medications>mindfulness> diet and exercise> therapy are the essentials to doing everything in that list. Videos like these count as therapy imo.

Make mistakes, and learn from them, but always hold true to your values. Always grow. And it's really really important not to measure yourself from anyone but you. Hindsight being 20/20, where I am now I could have been 10 years ago, but that's not the hand I was dealt. I make what I have work for me, and I feel blessed.

I'm not religious at all, but the lord's prayer is absolutely a fantastic thing to understand and embrace.

[ryanwilk]

As someone who's changed programs in college 4 times because of ADHD, I feel this. I never needed to learn how to study in middle/high school, since subjects came easy to me, and since so much weight is put on tests over assignments, I never got in the habit of completing projects on time and was never punished for that (my school didn't do detention).

Now I'm 25 in my 7th year of post secondary education, and I'm finally learning that I retain information better when I split my focus during lectures, and I'm doing better since I don't need to teach myself 3 lectures worth of material for 1 assignment.

And the one piece of advice that's helping me with assignments: Perfect is the enemy of Finished.

[elorricassan]

You just described my life.. I have a very high IQ and spent 24 years of living as undiagnosed with ADHD and ASD. Then I hit a gigantic steel wall during my master degree because it got too complex and I'm not used to struggle.. Discovered your channel yesterday, I feel I finally have answers and solutions to my crappy life, thanks to you. I used to have "solutions" that required from me to be motivated in order to work, but now I know I can train to be more motivated. Thanks !!

[schnob]

Damn that was really relatable. I'm 21 now and only now getting diagnosed with ADHD (and likely ASD). No one ever noticed because I was one of the best in class and never needed to study and I thought that once things get harder I'll be able to start working harder. Now I'm in Uni and absolutely struggeling, I don't find it particularly difficult but I just can't ever bring myself to study. I also noticed that I have Depression and Anxiety, which makes it harder. I really hope I can get stuff sorted out soon.

[Lazzil]

I did internalize my failure a lot when I wasn't able to stay on top of my homework in college. I was pretty well aware that I learned things at a slower pace than others, but I didn't think it was from ADHD. I thought almost everyone needed to review the material after lectures and that they were simply able to do it faster than I could. I would always feel really dumb because of that. And whenever someone else told me I was smart because of something I knew or how I respond to things, I would always think to myself that I was more knowledgeable than I was smart.

Maybe I'm not as stupid as I thought.

[hannahschneider]

I've been watching all your ADHD videos and I feel like you've written a manual on my brain I could never write myself. I've been so excited going "Yes! That's such an excellent way to explain it! That's exactly how I feel!" I sent one of your videos to my family members and spouse, and they weren't as excited as I was and didn't take it seriously. But I genuinely cannot tell you in words how appreciative, validated, and excited I feel about these videos. You've given me more communicational tools to be able to explain how/why I struggle with certain things and advocate for myself to get help for a solution. THANK YOU!!!!

[alicat]

It's just so unbelievably healing to be so seen. Most of the time I just give in and tell people I'm an idiot in that it's just impossible for me to learn things quickly. They would sooner except that, then me trying to convince them how hard it is for me and that I just can't learn it.

[matthewr]

As someone who both struggles with mental health issues and also wants to become a therapist, this channel is beyond incredible. Thank you for this and all of your other videos.

[ahuggingsam]

As an adult with ADHD who really struggled with it in school I want to A affirm what dr K said at the end about why it's so devastating to your school performance and also add to it a little bit: because you're spending 4 hours for every hour that a neurotically person needs, it essentially wipes out your social life because life is predicated on "do you work first then you get to enjoy yourself" without any slack built in for balance. This (from my own experience looking back) makes social development harder as well as making work life balance essentially impossible, both issues I continue to struggle with today

[alecm]

Even if I am laser focused in class I forget everything right after.

Since graduating college even at work if I don't write literally every single important point down I will forget.

When Monday comes along, I even forget what I did over the weekend and hate when people ask me because I just don't remember...

[randxalthor]

Thank you so much for making these as YouTube videos and being expressive in your delivery. The extra stimulus vs something like a podcast makes it so much more digestible as a person with ADHD.