Why you never feel safe in a narcissistic relationship

ORDER MY NYT BESTSELLING BOOK 📖 "IT'S NOT YOU"

JOIN MY HEALING PROGRAM

JOIN THE DR. RAMANI NETWORK

GET INFO ABOUT MY UPCOMING PROGRAM FOR THERAPISTS

SIGN UP FOR MY MAILING LIST

LISTEN TO MY NEW PODCAST "NAVIGATING NARCISSISM"

DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.

THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.

[patriley]

You don't feel safe because you are not safe.

[heidihgreen]

This lack of feeling safe takes a terrible toll on one's nervous system and immune system.

[Coparentingwithanarcissist]

You can’t feel safe with these people, they don’t want you relaxed, is a way to keep you distracted from everything else.

[gigibtsurvivor]

The ever present threat of being manipulated, harmed, and used.

[fairdose]

Life with a narcissist is a zero-sum game. In order for the narc to feel safe and secure, the other person has to feel destabilized and like they are constantly walking on thin ice.

[catchlightening]

Surviving narcissism makes you feel like a wild animal. Hyper cautious, suspicious, reactive, defensive

[petrairene]

You don't feel safe because abusive behaviour might come your way at any time.

[barbtullos]

I walked on eggshells with my ex ( narcissist husband ) Finally got up the courage to leave. Was afraid he'd kill me but I got away. Life with him was Hell for 20 yrs. And it's been 20 yrs since I left. I remarried . A wonderful man who treated me so good I almost couldn't get used to it. I've never been that happy. He passed away 6 yrs ago. If you're in a narccistic relationship GET OUT !!. PLEASE!

[marana]

I never felt safe, I remember being a baby feeling that way. I grew up with that. Today I still deal with that sensation.

[Kekekekekeke]

I always thought my intuition was off, that i was paranoid. Because they know what to say and how to play you. But I finally realised that my body is rejecting these people, and showing me they are not safe. Unfortunately I was in denial for a very long time, always ended up going back, thinking his words were true, and I was being paranoid. 😭

[susanm]

When you've seen what people are capable of, it naturally makes you wary. You've gone through the door you can't go back through, you can't unsee what you've seen. Now you know that people can do horrendous things and still seem completely normal. ANYONE you meet, regardless of how wonderful they seem, could be a wolf in sheep's clothing. Don't beat yourself up, just appreciate that you're having a normal reaction after being confronted with the evil that is possible in people.

[MadameClaudette]

Exactly. "You are living in the past". Well yes, I am. Because it was so horrible and I never experienced 'a normal life'.

[michellebaker]

I remember explaining Maslow’s hierarchy to my narc, in an attempt to help them understand my point of view without calling them out. I said, “I can’t meet your higher level needs, if my safety needs aren’t being met.” They seemed to get it at the time of the conversation, but nothing changed and I would find myself explaining myself until I felt unloved. Happily “narc free” for 8 months and counting.

[rofog]

After leaving a narcissist it's like you can take a breath. You feel a little bit going thru withdrawal...a mourning....but it is so much easier to breathe a little. You are free to do whatever you want. You aren't under their critical thumb. That first breath of freedom is a Godsend.

[blackcatno]

I can’t believe the amount of time it is taking to heal. It really is a demonic thing to deny a victims reality and society does it so often. Your videos makes invisible folks like myself get our health back. Thank you so much.

[ellieramseyer]

This so prevalent in the workplace...you fund yourself in a constant state of hyper-vigilance.

[heatherroberson]

When strangers treat you better than your narc lover that's a huge red flag!

[VeBe]

You can't feel vulnerable, you can't express your real feelings, you just can't be yourself with the narc! It's like you think things maybe okay, but suddenly you are flung around into a huge spin and by the time you recuperate, there is another roller-coaster ride and this cycle continues to that point that you start doubting yourself. And the Worst part, no one close to you (family or friends) know what has really happened to you. They think you are the one who is just complaining for no reason. Fear just grows. I was forced to leave my job due this fear and threats in the relationship. I was so afraid, that I feared even to go back to the house I stayed with her after office! Unfortunately I have no friends at all now and the loneliness is just beyond words that I can explain. I am still running/jogging, praying, meditating, had been to some therapy (stopped this as it was expensive for long-term) and still looking for a job. It's a process. Also I just hope I can find a friend.
P.S.: Dr. Ramani thank you so much . You understand what we go through so perfectly.

[olyguy]

Hard to feel safe once you realize you’re dealing with a soul sucking con artist who can’t keep their mask on anymore. ✌🏼

[gigibtsurvivor]

Dating after a narcissisticly abusive relationship is difficult. It takes a very empathetic and emotionally healthy partner to patiently wade through the pervasive aftermath.