Emotional Safety: How to Improve Relationships and Communication #2

Do people feel comfortable around you? Do you feel safe around other people? Do you have to deal with difficult people or stressful environments everyday? Then learning to create an emotionally safe environment is essential for your mental health.

Emotional safety is essential for good relationships, mental health, strong marriages, and effective parenting - and it sure helps with personal growth.

How you communicate to others will determine your effectiveness with them. If you are a safe place for them, they will open up to you, listen to you, and accept your influence

But if you aren't emotionally safe for them, you'll get resistance, anger, and fear in response.

Therapy in a Nutshell, LLC, and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health.

About Me:
I’m Emma McAdam. I’m a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, and I have worked in various settings of change and growth since 2004. My experience includes juvenile corrections, adventure therapy programs, wilderness therapy programs, an eating disorder treatment center, a residential treatment center, and I currently work in an outpatient therapy clinic.

In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction.

Copyright Therapy in a Nutshell, LLC
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[mayethwynepalay]

Don't ask someone to change just for you to feel okay. change yourselves or ask for boundaries. If after that, you still don't feel safe and secured THEN LEAVE. This video has definitely helped me. thank you!

[anothersth]

I think a huge part of why I am socially anxious comes from feeling emotionally disregulated and unsafe in my own body. Growing with with a very reactive parent who wasn't able to regulate themselves (love them nonetheless), I was always afraid of 'saying the wrong thing' or not knowing what to say and soon enough I started carrying this attitude into relationships outside home. I became withdrawn and it was hard to talk about anything with people even when my head would be bursting with thoughts when alone. I really wish I had these resources growing up, would have made a world of difference. Even so, grateful for it right now.

[creativesolutions]

Your videos should be shown in schools. Kids teachers and parents would benefit greatly

[andreas]

Yes, when you focus on yourself, then you are able to accurately see the environment and decide if it is a healthy place for you. Sadly, when people are brought up in unhealthy homes, it’s easy to gravitate to environments that mirror what is known. It can takes years to understand this and know you have the right to all that you have outlined. Thank you!

[barnardsc]

I really appreciate your keen intelligence warm gentle loving voice

[abbykoop]

Yes, helpful, thanks. I'll check out your boundaries ones as well. I didn't even know what a personal boundary was until my 50's. I've not been in a healthy relationship environment so wasn't sure what that was either. I kept trying to get my last boyfriend to respect my rules (not calling after a certain time, for example), or to show up on time....to no avail. What I really should have done, is respect myself enough to have walked away sooner. Better a slow learner than to not learn at all, I guess...

[sydney]

i am so glad i found your page. just 20 mins ago i was in such a bad place... subscribing and watching everyday moving forward

[dolcevita]

This video may be old, but it has been the most cathartic and helpful video to date in this moment of my life. Thank you.

[suzannebunbury]

I’m sad that my country has become an unsafe environment.

[anjaleearora]

Please also mention something as to how to be emotionally secure in adverse environment which we cannot change

[whipwalk]

Oof. "..trust your environment to be fair, consistent, and kind. " yet to experience this. 🤔

[sarahcouture]

This is the best video on emotional safety that I’ve come across on YouTube! Great job 👏🏻

[drritumathur]

World is logical handling and family is emotional handling ❤

[MANDS]

Watching this video now, which you shared in 2017 was God sent. Thank you Dr. Emma, the value you impart on your channel, imprints hugely on my own life and I can see on others too. Tears flowing, stopping the video to jot down notes, which was almost the entre conten shared, as I worked through this area, has helped soo much. Many Epiphony moments. Thank you and God bless you and your family always.

[Daniula]

Thank you! All your videos are super helpful, but this one has been exactly what I needed to hear! 🤗🤗🤗🤗

[Dimension]

This video really inspired me to think about boundaries: 🤔
How can I set boundaries in a constrictive way? - I mean, there are so many types of situations where it would really help to do so!

[jillknowles]

Emma, I enjoy your videos and find them so helpful in working to improve myself . My whole world collapsed when I found my partner was lying/cheating and I felt emotionally unsafe. Thanks for all the good work you do, you're a life saver. God bless Xx 🙏

[TysonMichael]

This is so interesting because I’ve realized some things about my dad and living in the house especially around the time there making noise to go to work in the morning or at night my body gets tense tell me “ I’m not safe” because I think he’s going to come in my room and say something that may throw me off and get me mad .or expect something from me.

I feel that mentioning mantras for myself and choosing to not let those feelings ruin my night or my rest is what I’m learning. My body tends to get really stressed. But the funny thing is I know I’m safe and nothing will actually happen yet my body gets scared and idk what to do it’s a bit frustrating

[cheri]

I always start out saying I feel sad, hurt, to my brother when there is an issue and he then goes on the attack. He refuses to listen to my feelings even when I express in a kind and truthful way. I live 5 minutes from my brother a rarely see him. He doesn't have time for me. Helplessness sets in

[Pielobyte]

Creating an environment of love:
->consistent, firm, clear, honest, we share our vulnerable emotions such as saddness and hurt, instead of getting angry

Create a positive environment by building ourselves up