Keeping the PEACE with narcissistic siblings

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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.

THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.

[Jessecraft]

One thing I've learned is DNA doesn't spell FAMILY.

[amymbelle]

Whenever someone says “but they’re family” my response is “I know, you’d think they would have treated me better”.

[sushmayen]

The soon you realize that they will not be there for you when it really matters, the better you can keep the peace.

[realhealing]

The narcissistic sibling caused so much damage that I decided to leave the entire narcissistic family system. There's no fixing an abusive family system.

[ALICE-g]

"You only have one sister or brother." Then Tell them " I only have this one life."

[NarcSurvivor]

It can be very challenging to keep the peace with narcissistic siblings. Because the narcissistic parent will often triangulate them with you.

[meghangriesemer]

The family is willing to sacrifice you to not disrupt the continuation of dysfunction. Ouch. I hope everyone gets their chance at freedom from abuse.

[gpbarth]

Keeping peace with narcissistic siblings is like trying to hug a porcupine or trying to pet a great white shark.

[valeriehowden]

Suffered with siblings for 30 years into adulthood. If they were friends, they would have been tossed within 3 months.

[THFrenchteacher]

Walking on eggshells for my entire childhood had a serious affect on my relationships as an adult. You’re right: I learned at a young age to not say anything about that sibling to my parents and that my environment at home was not safe. The grieving/wishing for a “real family” was huge.

[Havenforhealing]

My sister gossiped about me, turned the whole family against me because I told her we needed to work things out before she could come over to my house. My dad said it was tearing the family apart and I needed to fix it.

[masquarra]

And the rumours this toxic sibling can spread is enough to make one faint from shock

[vugdiwilo]

The worst part is being told off and blamed for trying to point out their disgusting behaviour. You're supposed "to forgive" or "ignore" or "let it go" - gross how this works.

[NovaPrincess]

I just decided to go 100% no contact with my family of origin, and I prefer the total peace and freedom. I do not miss them at all.

[lisaatkinson]

It’s sad when you realize your childhood family was and is toxic … complete with a narcissist golden child sibling and scapegoat (yours truly). These are things I just lived with my whole life as normal. The narc golden child sibling gets worse with age…. More and more toxic through the decades till they become sociopathic. They become miserable people. The scapegoat gets wiser and heals and has a happy life

[jennw]

“When a sibling relationship is healthy, it’s very, very special, because it’s someone who is a shared historian of your life. However when you have a narcissistic sibling, they become the distorter of your history. Seeing the narcissism of a sibling, and having it be invalidated or ignored by other people who are witnessing — it feels deeply unjust. It’s a form of abandonment. It’s not even that they don’t see it — it’s very likely that some of your family members do — but they do not want to tip the apple cart. And it’s devastating to realize that within a family, you’re sort of an acceptable sacrifice to maintain a psychologically photoshopped version of the family.”

Thank you, Dr. Ramani, for describing what has happened to me. It's deeply validating.

[werweissdasschon]

It is just amazing reading all the comments and realizing how common this is. Not more feeling alone! 🙏

[KathieMihindukulasuriya]

"They never think of themselves as a bully. They just think of themselves as right." Almost spit out my coffee. This rings so true. I have a sibling who wouldn't research any of the medical conditions our father had YET would try to overrule my medical decisions because his opinions were always "right". He would even argue with doctors, nurses and other medical personnel because he knew better. He even tried to interfere with my father's hospice care in the last days of his life because he was so sure that he alone knew what was best.

[jmblkhair]

". . . However, when you have a narcissistic sibling in your life, they become the distorter of your history.". That is the absolute truth 💯

[OnielMendezIrizarry]

Please never stop doing what you do. It really makes a change in today's upside down world.