My Identity Crisis & Speaking Like A Native

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ABOUT THIS VIDEO

Hey! In this video we talk about speaking like a native speaker: what does it mean and should you try to do it?

What I've learned is that this phrase means different things to different people. Some people want to sound EXACTLY like a native speaker. I've gotten lots of comments from people saying they want to speak and sound exactly like me.

For other people, this phrase simply means they want to feel confident when they speak English. They want to speak English as easily and effortlessly as they speak their native language. They want to pronounce words accurately, have good intonation, and connect words fluently.

So, now the question is... what does this phrase mean to YOU? What are you trying to achieve with your English? Tell us in the comments!

Next, I also talk about my personal experience with trying to sound like a native speaker. Now that I've gone through several years of language learning, I can say that there is nothing wrong with trying to sound as native-like as possible. It can be really fun to imitate natives and develop a native-like accent.

I've also found that it can be quite empowering to purposely retain a bit of your native accent. I don't think I talked too much about this in the video, and I wish I talked about it more... maybe I'll have to make a separate video about it :)

The last thing I will say about this, and I say it in the video... is that it's very dangerous to OBSESS about "passing as a native." This can cripple your confidence... it can make you afraid of speaking, afraid of making mistakes, and it will make you worry about what others think of you. Also, if you are trying to pass as something you are not, this shows you have an issue with your OWN identity. Why do you want people to think you are someone you are not? It's not necessary! Be who you are and don't be ashamed of it.

I really hope this video makes people think. I hope you learn that it's OK to have an accent. You should 100% embrace who you are, where you are from, whatever your native language(s) are, etc.

I wasted way too many years of my life trying to pass as someone I wasn't, and I can tell you from first-hand experience that it's not worth your time or energy. The complex I created in my mind is something I STILL occasionally struggle with till this day.

Alright... again, I hope this video was helpful! Let me know your thoughts and experiences in the comments.

See you in the next video! :D

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FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS (FAQ's)
🌎 Where are you from?
-California
🗣 Do you speak another language?
-Yes, I learned Spanish and speak fluently.
🤷🏼‍♀️ You speak too fast. Can you slow down?
🤓 I want to improve my English. Can you help me?

[adrianaaparecidadelima]

I am brazilian and my husband is colombian. We are teaching my child both languages. To me it is very important.

[mohammedalmutairi]

Your accent represents from where you are, be proud by applying whatever accent on your speech in English language, as long as your speech is understandable, believe me ( you are on the right path )

[adrienlac]

Hi Stefanie,  
I'm so glad you made this video. I can totally relate to your experience. I'm French, I have a masters' degree in English and after living abroad for a couple of years (in the UK & US), and then speaking English every day back in France for my job, my accent (American) got so good that people would tell me all the time (depending on whether it was a "good day" accent-wise) that I sounded just like a native.
The problem is that I started getting wayyy to attached to this separate identity, this carefully crafted persona and over time, it turned into a sort of imposter syndrome of wanting people to BELIEVE that I was a native English speaker, only being comfortable when I could express myself as authentically and fluently as I'd always wanted. 
The truth is that I wanted to BELONG. I wanted to be PART of something greater than just my own French culture; I wanted to have two passports, two lives, twice as many friends, twice as many opportunities, I wanted to be fully integrated, to blend seamlessly into this American identity.
Anyway, it took me a long time to be okay with the fact that I'd never be a native English speaker. I could sound like one, I could try me best and hardest to maintain my level but my identity would never be either completely French or completely American.
Thanks for sharing :)
Ps: I'm happy I found this channel. I agree with you on pretty much every topic you discuss here - I feel like we have a lot in common

[LucasGramaglia]

The topic you chose for this video is very important and helpful for learners of any language. When I started learning English, my goal was to speak the language exactly like a native speaker. I used to check my grammar and pronunciation in my mind before delivering every utterance. In my pursuit of perfection I felt so frustrated that I almost quit learning English. Ever since I understood that my obsession with perfection didn't work, I've been trying to improve my English without aiming at the "native-like level", and somehow I want native speakers to tell that English is not my mother tongue. Today, learning English is no longer an ordeal for me. Thank you for sharing your experience. Saludos desde Argentina.

[sebastianesquivel]

Hi! I'm an argentinian living in Connecticut, I run into your videos while ago and I've been watching them randomly. It was quite surprising finding out that you speak spanish that good. I think your videos are so constructive and entertaining. Two big thumbs up!

[papetaman]

Yeah, absolutely the same viewpoint. Sounding like a native speaker of other language is the most fun thing in my life. I don't care if I'm obsessed or not; it makes me feel so good! I just can't imagine how dull learning English would be for me if I didn't change my Spanish accent. Also glad for you to have got that amazing Spanish accent!

[dianodeoliveira]

i'm brazilian, and usually i get 99% about what you're talking about! i don't rememeber anyone else who is capable to make feel so confortable to understand english, as you do. i always learn a lot of things with you. you're awesome, Stephene. thank you so muchhhh! <3

[Juniorsaxplayer]

Stef, your pronunciation is amazingly clear and My advanced English students and I love your communication style. Congrats AGAIN!

[jcr]

Hello Stephanie! You really speak like a native Spanish speaker in terms of fluency, accurate use of vocabulary and tenses. In addition, you sound like a native Argentine woman, in other words, this is the extra feature. Congratulations!

[marcioroberto]

Thanks for sharing, Stefanie. I felt quite the same when I was an adolescent learning English.. well, I am fond of speaking as close as native speakers do... but now I know that communication is what really matters. Therefore I feel much more comfortable about the language acquisition process and that was a "key" to continue improving my English skills and also open my mind to other language studies, like German and Japanese.

[joseramoncabanas]

Hi Stefanie. I really like all that you said in this video. Basically, you are talking about our life and the way to become an adult person. Where you recognize and decide what, where and when to do. And that's is amazing, when you feel that the first time. And then you can apply it for the language you want to learn while getting skills and learning tools to reach it. Congratulations! You got it! I wish already to achieve it.

[javiersuarez]

I think fluency is more important than accent. I love hearing people that speak formal, clear and kindly. When I hear some news or some formal speeches, it is hard to identify an accent.

[RonNL]

I’m Cuban and definitely my goal’s always been speaking as good in English as I sound in my native Spanish language. And It’s worked because I get to connect with people. I’m listened with respect, and it’s definitely been good for my American life. On the other hand yes, we immigrants have always gone through a period of identity crisis and yes, I relate 100% on each and every one of the fantasies, feelings and dreams you went through. The embarrassment, frustrations stress. But over time achieved my goal just like you did and people commends me and express that I sound like a native. So yes! Now being realistic, if you’re an adult you may get to be fluent in English but never gonna entirely loose your accent. Which is not a big deal. What you’re teaching is the most healthy lesson because I felt that obsession and wasn’t good although I still love trying hard. You’re the only one person who’s story sounds like a mirror to me.

[tracyalarcon]

Hola Stefanie, soy Tracy te saludo desde Lima, Perú; antes que nada me encantan tus videos, eres una de los youtubers de las cuales puedo entender literalmente todo lo que hablas y eso me encanta. Te cuento que aún me pasa que si hablo en ingles los demás dirán: wow como lo sabe o ella puede hablar el ingles perfecto!, pero estaba equivocada y ahora trato de practicar mi listening, mi gramática, y mi vocabulario con las personas que aprenden ingles o los estadounidenses que vienen a mi país. Y de verdad me identifico con tu experiencia. Solo quiero que sepas que comparto tu idea y lo seguiré compartiendo con otras personas que estén aprendiendo.

[arturo_discipuloj]

I love this video Stephanie. You’re right when you say that maybe we could lose our identity trying to speak a language that is not our native one. We have to be careful with this, but also you said that not for that we are not going to try to speak as one. I like your accent and also you have given to me forms to improve my english when I can, because really sometimes my pronunciation it’s really bad, my nature language is mexican spanish. But watching your videos has helped me ;) so thanks.

[Thedomiyt]

After 3 days watching 10 or more daylight hours off your videos and other YouTuber I cant no believe que puedo entender like a 90% de todo lo que dices, ciento una emoción tan grande que nose cómo explicarla🙂 solo see que se siente muy bien.

[juarezb.figueiredo]

Dear Steffi,
I love the way you express yourself and it makes me feel confident in my learning process...
I heard once from a "gringo" the most important in the communication is to communicate and get understood, regardless accents etc...
I'm glad to hear you're studying Portuguese and, even Brazil and Portugal speakers have different accent and different uses for same words, and you know it happens same in the world of English...
So sounding "like a native" is quite difficult in every language I think...
Congrats for the clearness you tell us about your experiences and keep up the excellent work.
God bless you and your family.
Greetings from Brazil
Juarez

[williaminenglish]

Great video, in my opinion I think that learning to sound like a native speaker is really important for your better understanding and speech!

[Teo-yloo]

Hi Steph! The right video at the right time, illuminating as always! I'm experiencing some feelings you mentioned just now because I'm preparing an advanced English exam concerning all the 4 skills of a language (speaking, writing, reading and listening) and I'm extremely obsessed with not making any mistake (even small ones), sounding like a native and learn pretty much every single English word because in that way I will feel like a """proper""" native speaker, even though I'm not!
All this self-pressure is consuming me and I'm not able to find a way out, maybe I should take it easier but I'm afraid not to be adequately prepared when the time of the exam comes. I'll think about it.

Anyway thanks for this thought-provoking video. Have a nice day! 😄

[aaronnash]

I'm really into your video. when i see your face and hear your voice, I feel so comfortable. Most importantly, your mouth movements are so clear, I can imitate it to practice the oral English. Thank you, Stefanie!