5 STEPS TO HEAL and SILENCE THE HARSH INNER CRITIC/HEAL YOUR MIND

#innercritic #healyourmind #selfimprovement Do you have an inner critic that's always tearing you down? In this powerful YouTube video, I share 5 steps to heal and silence your harsh inner critic. You'll learn how to identify the source of your inner critic, challenge its lies, and start treating yourself with more compassion.
If you're like most people, you have an inner critic that's constantly judging and berating you. This inner critic can prevent you from living an authentic and abundant life.

The inner critic is that negative voice inside our heads that tells us we're not good enough, that we can't do something, or that we're not worthy of love or happiness. It's the part that puts us down and holds us back from living our best lives.

The inner critic is usually based on messages we received in our childhoods. Maybe our parents told us we would never amount to anything, or our teachers said we weren't smart enough to get into a good school. Whatever the case, those messages became ingrained in our minds, and over time, they turned into the inner critic narrative.

Fortunately, it is possible to change the inner critic narrative. By becoming aware of the inner critic and its negative messages, we can start to challenge and reframe those messages. We can also start to connect with our authentic selves - the part of us that knows we are worthy, capable, and lovable. When we do this, the inner critic loses its power, and we can start living our lives more fully and authentically.

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Thank you for watching 5 Steps to heal and silence the harsh inner critic.

#innercritic #silencetheinnercritic #negativethinking #selfimprovementtips #lifecoach #mentaltoughness #mentalstrength #lisaaromano

[rasmusa]

1- observe what is in one's mind instead of reacting to it.
2- disidentify from the thoughts
3- order your negative thoughts from 0 to 5 (5 being the meanest)
4- reframe the negative thoughts
5- Is this negative self-talk, how would you talk to a best friend?

[lindabarnett]

Lisa, you’re an angel. My mind has been stuck on an ex-boyfriend, not a narcissist. I’ve been beating myself up about how I could have reacted differently in a situation. I wouldn’t talk to my girlfriend who’s also going through a breakup like that. I’m dropping it. I will have an amazing day today. Thank you 🙏 for taking time to make these podcasts.

[wilsonmurillo]

I’m so proud of you Lisa. Your professional and personal growth is awe inspiring.

[peterknyk]

Always great to listen to you, especially on a beautiful Sunday morning! Thank you so much Lisa for all that you are doing to help us! 💞

[lucybraun]

I can't buy into welcoming wrinkles. I'm more about creating the best version of myself possible, both in looks and in character.

[dougcorbett]

Always always THANK YOU Lisa!!! I actually started doing that this week through my own therapy. I observed where that self critic thought pattern took me and it made me depressed. Then I countered it with telling myself “this is me and I’m good.” Been 60 years of abuse and negative self talk that made me dysfunctional productively in life. I am on the right track now and I own a lot to your sage advice!

[ranc]

Self-absorption paradox is by definition: "contradictory association whereby higher levels of self-awareness are simultaneously associated with higher levels of psychological distress and with psychological well-being. "
Inner critic pinpoints our mistakes, flaws, lack of knowledge - the same way as toxic people exploit our weaknesses and criticize and mock our need and urge to be helpful to society and that we do our job done perfectly so no one is hurt by us. Mistakes are natural part of life. No one is perfect and we cannot know everything.
Critics target these natural holes and unknown areas and they toxically ashame us that we are faulty as person for not being perfect.

So, perfectionism leads to mental imbalance. And it is a tool for Machiavellians and toxic people to control their targets: people who are kind, nice, someone who listen others, someone who is empathetic, who has natural consideration for how they impact other people around them - they exploit these natural human needs to be interdependent.

With social anxiety (complex trauma) I learned that other person is always correct, since my toxic shame told me I am inept to lead perfect life and make super strong decisions. In this way I would be exposed and attracted to toxic people who seen easy target to accuse for anything that is wrong to dump their irritations to. In the same time Classical CBT instructed me if I feel the pain and shame - that this is my social anxiety, and I have to ignore it. That I do not react to bully, since it is my social anxiety imagination. In this way I would stay in toxic relationships, I would convince myself that I am hallucinating abuse, that I am over-sensitive and that I simply take everything too personally. So I would experience what I later learned is moral injury: being exposed to unfair situations without ability to walk away, or to react or to say stop or I disagree. Instead I would shut up and silently agree with abusers, their accusations and unfair conclusions. This leads to double bind situations, where on one side I am told to be too sensitive and I must be strong, and on another side I would be with someone toxic who is pushing too far - yet I say nothing because I must be strong and endure it.

I learned self validation is anti-dote to toxic shame, and it leads to interesting new radical conclusions such as I am allowed to make mistakes and be mistaken.

[julanre]

Thank you for sharing this Lisa.
YOU are a Godsend.
Every minute I spend listening to you gets me closer to emotional health.
I can't thank you enough. 💝

[paulinemasri]

7yr with my boyfreind walked out 3 weeks no call northink so hurtfull was only gd to him

[katiswan]

💜Thank you Lisa ❤️‍🔥for creating 💛this wonderful 💖video and 💕giving me 💜some tools to ❤️‍🔥change my 💛life.

[darleenmcbride]

I can't wait to get over the pain and the feeling of loss! I'm so hurt!

[lisalockett]

It blows my mind how spot on you are when you explain the paradigm of how childhood neglect coincides with gravitating towards the same “all I know” abusive, neglectful spouse. I have listen for years, researching, trying to find an explanation as to why I am where I am and why am I with a man (malignant narcissist) that I can never please and who is emotionally, covertly critical. He is contradicting and furiously frustrates me to the point of literally wanting to slam my head into the wall. He has confidently, proudly told me he is the “antagonist” in our relationship. When I ask (painfully, nearly tearfully) why, he shrugs and says “I dont know”.

[theresaconley]

Thank you so much Lisa. You are teaching me so much. I was surprised when I actually heard myself, 2 times yesterday, say something negative, as if it didn't matter. Even though I caught myself the first time, then thought I can't do that again, I caught myself the second time in mid sentence and didn't finish my sentence. The third time I recognized the thought, caught it before I spoke and changed it. I felt good knowing I'm making some progress. Thank you, Lisa.

[christyread]

My best friend died wrinkle free and emotionally shattered

[golondriz]

I have a lot of thinking errors. It’s a term I learned in my PTSD therapy. Observing my thinking is something I need to do more! Oh and guess what I learned. I learned that loneliness happens when one thinks that no one else loves them. I should not feel lonely because I have tons of family who love me. I can stop being codependent on one person who doesn’t like me anymore because I have others who love me and I love them too. Thanks Lisa. I love your lessons.

[kdevinturner]

When will the madness end. No room for flying monkeys. Know what I mean?

[begentlebutdontallowshit]

To anyone that might be reading this, I wish that whatever is hurting you or whatever you are constantly stressing about gets better. I sincerely wish everyone that happiness enters your hearts and let all the stress and sadness vanish out of your life...as you know nothing in life is ever easy, but what's important is that you keep going!
you're worthy of love and happiness, never allow anyone to tell you otherwise! It can be extra hard sometimes but stay strong and hang in there, your life matters, no one can replace you, I'm thankful you're born and I'm sure your struggles will pass soon! I wish all of you plenty of health and strength during these tough times. remember you are strong, you got this! never forget that!
sending much love over towards all of you, May god or whatever you might believe in bless you the way you need it to!
♥️🌟

[eljeer]

My God I would destroy myself with negative self talk. I have totally reshaped my heart and mind to be my best friend. Everything I do is a conscious act internally and externally. Thank you for your love ethic and work.

[lucybraun]

Growing up, I had a father who was gone away in the military for very long periods. As such, I made an older brother become sort of like my stand-in dad. As a child, little did I know that my brother had his own way of coping with my father's absence, and that he looked to my mother's father for the stand-in father figure. My mother's father was the family critic - never thought my father was good enough for my mother - which he wasn't, but that's another story. So, what did I get modeled? Criticism. Nothing and nobody was ever good enough. The trouble with that sort of outlook on life is nobody ever can be perfect, and looking to others, or to myself for perfection is a waste of energy. Yet, I strived for perfection, in myself, and in others I allowed into my world. I became a people pleaser to those I admired, which prevented me from learning how to set boundaries, and had disdain for those who didn't meet my standards, especially when it came to their level of intelligence, which didn't garner me many close friends, either. Next, the self critic in me took over, and I began to see my brother for the critic he is, and wondered how I could ever have looked up to him. Now, I'm at work moving past the critic in me, more about enjoying people for where they are, and me for who I am.

[djignatin]

Lisa, I like that you used the word "crippling." I really wish I could get more people to understand that. It is crippling, especially when the abuse is chronic and has great duration. Those of us who suffer from codependency feel the pain even deeper.