9 Signs Of A *TOXIC* Family

Sometimes we may not *KNOW* we're from (or still living with) a toxic family. When dysfunction is *normalized* we may believe "this must be how EVERY family lives". But let's not 'normalize unhealthiness. In today's video I examine 9 specific red-flags of toxic family behavior.....I'm a Licensed Therapist and answer your questions on 'Ask A Shrink'.

[curtistinemiller]

You can't heal in the place that hurt

[shoopydoopy]

Thanks for posting this. Had a bad night last night, gaslighting myself that it was actually fine and I'm "making it all up" and/or "overreacting". Good to have the reminder!

[warriormom]

Wonderful video Brad!! Always informative 👏👏

[aking]

Holy crap!! Had to keep rewinding... Another amazing & life changing video!! Thank you so much❤

[meganjohnson]

Thank you so much for the very helpful information! You are a good friend. Love, light, and appreciation!!! 💕

[corneliuswhite]

Thank You. You pretty much covered it.

[kismypencek]

Thanks gor putting these dynamics out loud.

[erice]

Dad worked for Joseph Schlitz Brewing Company which caused a lot of secrets, my mom would actually say if you want to cry I'll give you something to cry about, there was plenty of sibling rivalry, I said triangulation before you did, I was both golden boy and scapegoat, my mom would criticize me call me clumsy constantly berating me then tell me I was too sensitive and that crap still hurts today, I have no self protecting boundaries, I learned early on that showing emotions was dangerous so I detached from them. I was mainly the placator, or the lost child in our family.

[Youllneverknow-ub]

Dear dad

This is the truth
I don't want your help. I was just afraid
I almost didn't realize.. Again..
But that's how it is
That's how it always been
Its just so fucking painful to think of the truth that i learned to cope by numbing it all out
I don't need you
Im only protecting myself from you

[xav]

Thank you once again Brad for the enlightening video. I relate to 4), 5), 6), 7) and 8)…The toughest thing is to find a good therapist to discuss these issues...I wish you could duplicate yourself...All the best. X

[annmarionette]

Thanks Brad. Your videos about toxic families and narcissistic parents perfectly parallel Chinese parenting styles (except for alcohol and substance abuse which isn’t typical in our families). It makes me very sad that so many Asian Americans grew up this way. Thanks for helping me identify my issues. Your work has helped me heal.

[raulaleman]

very good video.
please keep them coming ;-)
P.S - the way you articulate your words and your overall demeanor is very "next door neighbor like" (that's a complement); it doesn't feel like we are listening to some scientist or being lectured by an PhD professor.
thank you

[MissSarahGM]

Can you talk about the silent treatment from parents to adult children? I don't know how to handle it, I need to get my things back from my mother, and she has been ignoring my messages and calls for 4 months. Years ago she did it 6 months, afterwards she explained she wasn't well and didn't talk to nobody. Which is false as she can't stay a few days without talking to my older brother. I always miss her as much as I feel anger and sadness, but I have stopped contacting her. I think she has BPD.

[xweetokfairy]

I got 7 out of 9.

Is there any hope for toxic families?

[flamingrobin]

i had all of these in my family and marriage accept 9) addiction substance abuse. we did have spiritual abuse, which should be added as number 10. when families lie about God and the nature of the universe you are set up for a host of problems including authority problems

[maggiesalle]

1) I am an only child of two narcissistic parents, and I am the family scapegoat.

2) You mean constant criticism is not normal?!?!?!? That is all I heard at home and much of what I heard as an adult at church. I left the church building (not God) for a reason. I get religious instruction by phone and online.