Six Signs of a Bad Therapist (Counselor / Mental Health Clinician)

This video covers six signs of a bad therapist (or really six signs of a less-than-ideal counselor). I'm using the word counselor here not necessarily to refer to a particular professional identity, but to anybody who can deliver therapy. A professional counselor would be included in that, but also a social worker, psychologist, marriage and family therapist or some other similar profession.
It's also worth mentioning here that most counselors are good. This video is focusing a lot of negative aspects that might be seen in the world counseling, but the vast majority of counselors do a good job under a lot of different circumstances. I tried to make this list fairly objective.
#1: Not being clear about licensure status.
#2. Falsely claiming doctoral-level competence.
#3 Suggesting or engaging in a friendship or a romantic/sexual relationship with a client.
#4 Incorrect diagnosing
#5 Dogmatic loyalty to one treatment modality.
#6 Confusing art and science.

[gabe-poyi]

What’s so sad is when people finally work up the courage to see a therapist and get a bad one, many never seek help again. I’ve known several people this happened to.

[williamhill]

I had a therapist fall asleep during a session, put that in there!

[arts]

A red flag that is not easy to spot is when a therapist doesn’t refer you to another specialist if it’s something outside their expertise area and decides that they can do it themselves, most often motivated by money

[CaraHTheRealCie]

I started seeing a therapist after I was sexually assaulted by my ex-boyfriend in 1997. This woman said she used the EMDR technique, but a therapist I saw later on said that what she was doing was nothing like EMDR. She would just tap on my knees while talking at me. She always told me that in order to get better, the most important thing was to find one therapist I could trust. She referred to herself as being "easy to talk to" but I found her very judgmental. One day after a visit, she said to me, "well, I'm glad to see you're doing so much better. You were a basket case when you first came here."
I said "excuse me?"
She said "I'm only saying you're doing better than when you first came here."
I said "don't ever refer to a patient as a basket case. I was raped! How many people behave calmly and rationally after that kind of trauma?"
I emailed her a few days later to say that I would not be returning as I did not care for her therapy techniques and I was deeply bothered by her use of the term 'basket case.' I apologized for ending the sessions because I was raised to be overly polite even when people are rude to me. Her response was "oh, it doesn't bother me, Dear. I'm not the one with the self-esteem problem."
Horrible woman. If a therapist ever treats you the way this woman treated me during one of the worst times of my life, run!

[davidbrienlantry]

Over 20 years ago, I met with a professional counselor to help me cope with the loss of my brothers. After about a month, while walking home, I met the counselor on the street and discovered that we lived in the same neighborhood. From that day on, whenever our paths crossed outside of the office, he would make eye contact, acknowledge me, without speaking and then change his path. I always respected that boundary.

[venetiancat]

I would add, any counselor that shames you for feeling or thinking a certain way. When I told her how my (narcissistic) mother would call and attack me on the phone, and I would hang up, she said, "but it's your mother". I was shocked by such a response from a professional, and when I came to my senses, I left the counselor for doing that, and found a terrific therapist. Thanks for a very helpful video. Cheers, Julia

[WindWipper]

Another bad sign: when the therapist spends most of the session telling you HIS problems or talking about himself! lol

[suefarrand]

A specialist DV psychologist told me I would go back to my ex. When I said there was no way that I would, she stood up hands on hips yelling “I'm telling you how it is, I've helped thousands of women and I know what is going to happen”. I never went back, to her, or my ex.

[vociferonheraldofthewinter]

The first time I reached out to a counselor I was in my mid-20's. I was trying to work through childhood trauma. She sat quietly and just listened - without giving much feedback - for the first three or four sessions. At the end of the last session she rolled her eyes, sighed, and said, "You keep going on and on about your mother. You're over eighteen. Get over it."

That set me back by decades. I'm finally now with a therapist working through my CPTSD at the age of fifty. smh

[micheller]

I would add to the list counselors who are repeatedly late, miss, or reschedule appointments, and counselors who forget important details from one session to the next.

[MollyMormonia]

One bad sign I have noticed is that some therapists are not skilled in deescalating clients. They will get them into the red zone and then just end the session, leaving the client quite distressed.

[cathleenchapman]

Almost 30 years ago, I was assigned a “ Christian therapist” who ended up sexually abusing me. I sued him & won; however, permanent damage was done...I don’t trust anyone, especially men. My lawyer discovered that he was not licensed even though he stated that he was pursuing a PhD in psychology. His brother-in-law, who started the agency, knew of this man’s history of abusing women, but still hired him because he needed a job. I cannot begin to express the trauma that this man caused! Plz beware!

[hannahbonnanah]

The biggest red flag? When your therapist
needs you more than you need him/her.

[susanne]

1.: 02:49: Counselor supplies "Story" when asked if licensed instead of "yes/ no".
2.: 05:32: "Doctor" despite doctorate not in a counseling related profession.
3.: 07:19: Counselor hints at possible "friendship" or even worse "romance".
4.: 10:03: Incorrect diagnosing; making up a diagnosis;
"Weaponising" a diagnosis; stacking diagnoses; describing but not naming a diagnosis; confusing diagnoses, using unprofessional specifiers.
5.: 17:24: "One hit wonder", counselor has dogmatic loyalty to one treatment modality.
6.: 19:00: Counselor suggests therapy is "more of an art than a science" and cannot provide scientific explanations for how the therapy works.
- Hope, that helps a little.

[jenniferarmstrong]

I saw a counselor in my early twenties who, after a number of pointless visits which weren’t helpful, came right out and accused me of having a crush on him. It was so disgusting and shocking. Needless to say, I never went back.

[kimberlycarrigan]

What you said about weaponizing diagnoses really struck home. I was diagnosed with manic depression as a teenager, so I've been dealing with this hell for a long time. One time, when I was about 19 or 20, I was having a really hard time, and this one therapist told me I was a narcissist. He told me I was refusing to eat because I felt superior to the people making my food. That killed me inside. I stopped going to therapy after that and suffered alone for years. The look on his face while I cried still makes me nauseated when I think about it. Thank you for making me feel that I'm not alone. I'm 50 years old and that memory still creeps up on me occasionally. That's how powerful "less than ideal" therapists are.

[TheDrrbc]

A counselor that projects their own feelings and thoughts onto a susceptible patient.

[byawned]

My first ever panic attack came directly from the hands of my therapist when i was 9. I told her about my csa and she told me i was lying, then went to my abuser and when he denied it, used that to try and convince me I just wanted attention, called me names. Luckily this was one of the few times my mom took my side, and I was taken care of properly and i never saw her (or my abuser) again

[avaolivia]

The best counselor I ever had was like a very "neutral" individual who I talked to. The things that she did that were very effective in helping me was her first question and second question every "How are things and "Talk to me". She listened quietly.... asking for more information occasionally and taking notes. She was calm.... she would frequently ask for more details about something when I was finished with my experience. She never interrupted me. I felt such support and confidence in her calm and direct support. I went to her for 8 months and felt so much better. Her words and advice come back to me when I face the stress situations that I had experienced as if she is speaking to me. She also thanked me for my help in her own work. A very important person in my life.

[janetnash]

Another scary sign: When you tell a counselor or doctor that you are afraid of a situation with sexual predators and they accuse you of being "delusional"or a "liar" because they have no personal experience with predators or trauma. ....in other words they gaslight you based on their own ignorance of reality.