Feeling Behind in Your 20s or in life? Watch this.

Have you thought that you were feeling behind in your 20s in comparison to others? Or just life in general? In this video, I address the feelings associated with feeling like you're behind in life and somehow have to get back on track. I recently felt this way, which is why I wanted to share my thought process on how I handle them.

The first thing I remind myself is that happiness is a choice. More specifically, it's an active decision that I make whether I feel like it or not. I always thought success (which led to happiness) came in the form of spending time at the beach with a pretty girl while owning a large house and having no cares or problems in the world. "Once I have these things, I'll be happy." In reality, this fantasy could maybe exist for a couple hours, but otherwise it fades quickly. Problems will always come sooner or later. We predict how we will feel when certain events occur through affective forecasting, but we tend to be inaccurate when we make these predictions. With a house comes maintenance. With all that time in the sun comes sunburn. No matter what, problems will always come around.

That is why we cannot wait for happiness to come to us IF or WHEN something happens. Because once we attain said thing, the high quickly fades and we continue to search for the next thing. Stop looking for that next thing and simply be happy now. However, if you are unhappy where you are in life, how will you get from point A to point B?

To achieve any goal or outcome, one must create a process or system that they can stand by. This process must not only transfer a person from one state to another, it also must be a process that one will enjoy partaking in, otherwise a person will quit or revert to old habits. It is the reason why fad diets do not work: they aren't sustainable long term.

The next thing I do is delete social media (or stay off of it.) Social media creates a distorted reality where you only see milestones and achievements of others, all within the swipe of a thumb. It's easy to think people have done all these amazing things or somehow created overnight success when you read all of their posts in one sitting. Comparison is the thief of joy, and we must not compare our step 1 to another person's step 20. Stay in your lane and just focus to be better than you were yesterday.

Hope this was helpful! Take care, guys.

Chapters:
0:00 Intro
1:30 The thing about happiness
5:17 Focus on your process
6:12 Stay off social media
7:37 Final thoughts

Disclaimer:
All ideas here are for entertainment purposes only.

[lth_lch]

I've found that appreciating the things I have and living life day-by-day has been a big help. I'm turning 24 in a little over a month, don't have a job, a partner, or a degree, and have been essentially living as a NEET since Covid started. Sure, I'm pretty behind in terms of the standards society has set for me, but I have family and friends that care about me, and who I care about, hobbies both creative and physical that I enjoy, a house over my head in a safe neighborhood, and I eat three meals a day. I am incredibly fortunate to have these things, I know that I don't suffer from the same issues people less fortunate than myself do, and I understand that I eventually have to strike out on my own, but constantly worrying about the future has a paralyzing effect on me, rather than a motivating one. Focusing on what's currently in front of me rather than trying to guess what I'll be doing in ten years, slowly building up consistency and conscientiousness through a routine I enjoy, doing what I can to help those around me, and letting them do the same for me, and not beating myself up over my failures will get me to where I need to be eventually.

[TV-gbpl]

"you can't compare your step 1 to someone's step 100" - yeah, this is killing me right now

[itsagood]

I really needed this. I’m 23, graduated college, un able to get a job with my degree. Never been in a relationship and still living with my parents… it’s debilitating

[BlairCarlyle]

A good quote is “don’t compare your insides to someone else’s outsides” for all you know they’re feeling the same way

[laurashah]

I deleted most of my social media. That helped prevent me from thinking about what other people have done in their life and comparing my life with others. Everyone is on their own journey.

[QuickAbsurdFacts]

That creeping feeling is the worst, it eats you alive. It makes the thought of death so comforting.

[triliner]

I feel like "being single" shouldnt mean that your life isn't good. Theres still a ton of things you can do even without a partner.

[jimmieoakland]

I felt for a long time in my 20s-30s that I was lagging behind my friends. Years later, I finally figured out the problem was that I was traveling in a different direction than my friends, so I was never going to "catch-up."

[hyoyeonlee]

I'm 22 with social anxiety.
I've lost connection with friends and relatives.
I have no job or partner.
These reasons have led me to delete my social media and withdraw from social gatherings.
All I need right now is to hear that I'm not alone.

[BecTarot]

I’m 21, dropping out of University and still living with my parents. Going to a job interview in a couple hours time. Thank you so much for sharing your own personal experience and insights

[Konami]

To people who say "money doesnt bring happiness" is say " thats right, money brings freedom not happiness". Everybody has to decide for themselfs if freedom contributes to their happiness

[Zoe-rwvp]

After watching this and reading all the comments, I just realized how many people feel this way. Our culture is made to compare ourselves with others all the time, and that's why we feel miserable.

[Samuel-ptzx]

I'm 27, studied abroad until Masters, all on scholarship, came back home to live with parents, about to go abroad for my PhD studies again soon. In some aspects, I am doing better than a lot of my peers, but what you've just said is absolutely right--comparing myself with my peers has lowered my self-esteem so much that I have forgotten what I have achieved. Everyday, I see my friends posting how much they have achieved, how they have gotten rich with their multiple incomes on social media, and I compared myself with them, wondering what I am doing with my life when I'm this age but I still don't have a proper job. This video came just in time. Thank you

[mickolesmana]

Basically my mind:
At Job : I DESERVE A BREAK
At Break : NOO I AM PROCASTINATING

Repeat

[nayannegarcez]

29 here! Every day seems like a countdown to the thirties and the feeling that i haven't accomplished anything big follows me everyday. Makes me feel that I shouldn´t dream big and be more satisfied with what I can get because I´m not that "young" anymore although I feel like I am. (and hey, pandemic stole me 2 years)
Videos like this reminds me that in the end, everyone has their own pace (but most of the time we forget about it)
Thanks for that :) And boy, quitting social media feels amazing.

[krissompson]

Always compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not somebody else.We do not have the same starting conditions, they vary from person to person, thats why its wrong to compare yourself to someone else.

[ArmstrongandTumbler]

I'm a 26 year old man who still hasn't moved out my parent's house because of college loans, and then medical bills. I have also never been in a real relationship, and never had sex cause I'm short and that's ugly apparently. However I have done so much since becoming an adult to improve myself, and experience things in life. My happiness won't start because I have everything everyone else I meet has. You're video helped me to remember that. Thank you.

[xzhou]

I’m in my early 30s, I felt the same way 10 years ago with my life. I was never really good at school and I pretty much wasted most of my 20s and ended up dropping out of college. It was a pretty big fall at the time and I ended up working in a minimum wage work. I was very deflated, I didn’t have anything and lived with my parents. In my late 20s I decided to go back to school because I really wanted to turn my life around. The subject I took in the continue education was IT related and it very challenging and sometimes I felt like quitting. In the end, it took about 4 years and I succeeded. I agree with the video if you want to make changes with your life, make changes in small steps. I am definitely happier than I was 10 years ago, but I wouldn’t say I am a happy person, there are a lot of stress at work. In the end of the day everybody got their own set of problems even for the ultra rich. I think the key to be happy is to work hard and look at your own fruit that you have harvested and not comparing with others.

I think this is part of life, every age has its challenges, for young people is finding love and be successful. When you are old, you just want to be healthy and hope that you don’t get any serious illnesses. Be happy of what you have right now.

[katieblox]

I'm not even in my 20s, but I think that I needed to hear this. This advice could help me where I am at right now, and for my future self as well. Good video!

[rockyfps]

I am physically fit, eat a healthy diet and possibly the best version of myself right now. But, I still feel behind like all my friends have jobs and have gfs and I have none of that, thankfully this video has given me a new perspective on life and I'm trying to get a job that I love and finally get my shit together and be happy with myself.