Complicated Grief: Why Grief Gets Stuck

In this video I discuss five circumstances that can cause complicated grief or prolonged grief disorder. I also explain why a diagnosis of prolonged grief disorder is so controversial at the moment.

🔵 CHAPTERS

0:00 Previous loses or trauma
2:05 A sudden of traumatic loss
3:24 Lack of social support
4:38 Personal vulnerabilities
5:48 A conflicted relationship with the deceased
6:51 Is prolonged grief a disorder?

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🔵 ABOUT TERESA LEWIS

Teresa Lewis is the founder and Director of Lewis Psychology and a Senior Accredited psychotherapist with the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (MBACP Snr. Accred). Qualified in 1995, Teresa has been providing counselling and psychotherapy treatment for nearly 30 years. Teresa holds a masters degree in counselling and psychotherapy and is a qualified EMDR Practitioner having completed training accredited with EMDR Europe. Teresa is also a qualified adult educator and an accredited Mindfulness teacher As a recognised expert in her field Teresa is frequently asked to conduct editorial reviews and endorse counselling and psychotherapy books for international publishing houses.

🔵 GRAPHICS AND THUMBNAIL

Thumbnail and B-Roll graphics designed by Teresa Lewis. B-Roll video is used in strict compliance with the appropriate permission and license from Story Blocks in accordance with the YouTube Partner Program, Community guidelines and YouTube terms of service.

#LewisPsychology

[misanthropicmeanderings]

Stuck in grief yes, I think thats me... Just various deaths and having to keep going regardless no time for a breakdown.

[ljo]

There's also complex grief when someone hasn't actually died, but you had to cut them off because of abuse. Also multiple traumatic events can happen one after the other which makes you feel like you're stuck in grief for so long. I've been through so much the past 7 years and I'm mentally & emotionally exhausted 😢

[iaminthegardendancing]

Grief extends way beyond just someone dying. People are in grief all the time. There is so much to grieve about in life.

[christopherking]

It's been 63 mos. since I witnessed my brother's death in a terrible motorcycle accident. I was the one who convinced him to buy a motorcycle so we could ride together. The guilt and shame are constant. Grandma made an errant turn in front of him and she was traumatized also. I'm Stuck.

[RussRomes]

My father died when I was only 19.I started having very vivid dreams about him within the first month.I didn't have the last dream until I was about 40.Complicated Grief is very VERY REAL.

[skellener]

This is me. Over three years now since I lost Leesa. I still cry everyday, multiple times a day. I’m so lost. I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. 😢

[davidemery]

I don't think it should be categorized as a disorder. Grieving is human, and we all do it differently. Thanks for your work!

[olfashdeb]

Lost my adult son to suicide 9-9-20
I am thankful for the diagnosis of complicated grief.

[gavinoreilly]

I have complicated grief. It destroys your quality of life, everyday things like working your job and communication are tough. I am full of negative emotions

[markbliss]

I lost my mum almost 50 years ago
The pain has never stopped in fact it's got worse

[KaraMcCarthy-ywzv]

My only child, my beautiful 21 year-old daughter passed away five years ago. I’m the one that found her in her room. She passed away from heart failure suddenly. She’s my best friend and it was always her and I against the world. She wrote me a Facebook post one month before she passed, saying “mama, you’re my forever best friend, the other half of my soul, you’re mine and I’m yours.”

There’s not a day that goes by where I’m not crying. I can’t function, I’m broken, I don’t know how to live life without her. She always told me that she couldn’t be away from me for too long.

She was my rock. The absolute love of my life.

[cynthiabethea]

I have been grieving my only daughter's move 600 miles away for 6 years. I still cry almost daily. I have many of the pre-existing vulnerabilities. It is such a relief to learn about this!!

[michaelkonomos]

Appreciate the video. As to the question - as someone who I expectedly lost my father, I find it strange that society would think “a year is enough, time to move on” when our culture makes so little space for people to deeply grieve in the first place. Feels like capitalism and it’s demands for available workers suppresses our natural psychological responses to make us available for labor. I think that something doesn’t have to be a pathology for us to need to talk to someone about how it makes us feel. Thanks for asking!

[kathypariso]

Wow, thank you for validating what I have experienced for so long. In 2016, my business that I loved was closed due to my husband’s illness. Then in 2018, my husband, with whom I had a very conflicted relationship, passed away. Six months later, my sister, who refused to be supportive after my husband’s death, stopped talking to me, and six months after that, one of my pets had to be put down, followed by a need to sell the home we had bought the year he passed and move. This year will be five years since he passed and I still am looking for the joy life used to have…and frankly, some days it is tough.

[Polina-hnhu]

As u mentioned some experience it due to the lack of emotional support so its a cope out to call it a disorder. Also our society teaches u out of feeling ur emotions so people simply dont have the tools or capacities to process such painful emotions and the wonderful society again deflects by pathologising it.

[cherylchewilliams]

We have lost several members of our family on my fathers side in the last eleven years and besides having lost my mother almost 5 yrs ago and trying a new medication, i have been dealing with a lot of grief and depression. I try to care for myself and i am fortunate to have a good network of friends and others who support me, yet it has still been hard . Thanks for your videos ! Keep up the good work!

[misanthropicmeanderings]

My granny passed away over lockdown, my uncle and my dad on 28th august from Dementia. I saw him just after he had passed. I was able to be there for my dad before he passed as I was sober from alcohol so I was able to play his favourite music for him and be at the funeral without my sobriety I could not have been there.

[T.norton]

For me this is the worst pain a human can experience, is no place to go and hide, just keep living in a nightmare my world is upside down, how to move forward from this....

[joannedobkin]

I have complicated grief. I attend two support groups but I feel as though I’ll never move on as long as my siblings don’t apologize. They abandoned my mom when she needed help and they abandoned me at the funeral home the youngest of 5 left to say goodbye alone at her casket. They also kept me from personal sentimental things selling our childhood home at a half discounted price with all the belongings inside. How can I move on when what they did is so horrible ? It’s almost 2 years since my mother died on my oldest son’s birthday. I just can’t forgive how they acted. I don’t understand how they had zero feeling for my mom or to just show up out of respect ? The funeral home was owned by someone I went to school with and I found it humiliating for my mom. They also let her be placed in a plastic hospital gown like a trash bag. I just can’t get past it ? I see this in my mind when I think of it. 😢

[Shieldmaiden]

I lost my daughter 8 months ago and I am feeling alot of the things you mentioned .