YOU'RE GONNA BE OK (Depression, Anxiety, & Depersonalization Hope)

Noah Thomas (bignoknow) is an affiliate of LetsGetChecked

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This video is for educational and documentary purposes only and is not intended to treat or diagnose. The opinions expressed are that of the individual in the video and nobody else. Please consult a health care professional for all mental and physical healthcare needs.

I Noah Thomas, the creator of this channel, have been diagnosed hypogonadism by a medical doctor and legally prescribed the medically indicated treatment of Testosterone Replacement Therapy.

My Story

My name is Noah and on May 18 2011, I had a rare reaction to a medication called VIVITROL and consequently, spiraled into a suicidal depression with depersonalization and anxiety. I lost 25 lbs in 4 weeks and was in full panic or near panic for 8 weeks straight mixed with the darkest most painful depression I cold have ever imagined. I immediately could not work and had to move in with my parents who, along with many siblings and friends, had to watch me 24/7 as I was a danger to myself. Eventually I was hospitalized in the Psych Ward for a week. Getting through each day seemed truly unbearable and I knew I would surely die. I have been put on many many different doctor prescribed SSRI's SNRI's Tricyclics, mood stabilizers, anti-psychotics, holistic meds, acupuncture and even a form of shock therapy called RTMS. I barely saw any improvement in my condition for a full year. It was decided I had treatment resistant depression and I spent nearly every moment in tears. Weeks after starting my newest round of medications (Seroquel & Nortryptaline) as a last ditch effort, I had my blood drawn for possible hormone imbalances and my Testosterone levels came back 200 ng/Dl and 150 ng/Dl. The average 25 year old male has 750 ng/Dl. With this discovery I had an explanation as to why I was not getting better and why I might be so so sick. The symptoms of Low T are very similar to those of major depression. I started legally prescribed testosterone replacement therapy soon after and have been checking in with the world and documenting my experience with treatment as well as giving my insight and perspective on various topics of mental health. I am blessed to say that I have slowly, over the last 6 years, been improving and becoming more stable which I never thought to be possible. My low T manifested itself in the form of Major depression, anxiety, and depersonalization/ derealization for over a year. Treating my low testosterone has been 1 HUGE part of the puzzle but I have had to continue to work hard to hold on to my mental stability with many set backs. Gaining some mental stability back is nothing short of a miracle as I was near death for what felt like forever. I do not consider myself to be totally healed yet but I am closer now then ever before and aim to use what I have been through to help or at least offer support to others in need I was able to successfully come off my Seroquel and Pamelor.

I work out all the time as a part of my mental health recovery!!! Weight training and all kinds of cardio rule much of my free time and I also share this on my channel.

Noah Thomas (bignoknow) is an affiliate of LetsGetChecked

[meerg_ro_o]

I just want to be hugged and told everything is fine

Update: it all works itself out guys, it will eventually all be ok and life with bounce back on track, don’t ever lose hope!

[punkfan]

I hope this storm passes. I'm tired of feeling on edge, hopeless and lost. Thanks again for another great video, Noah.

[RepossessedPro]

Did you ever feel so gone that you like lost the sense of self and you were just like, "Who even am I?" for a moment? I've had a few of those moments lately where I'm so caught up in my thoughts that I question who I even am but if I were to be asked questions about my identity I could answer them perfectly. This is such a scary condition, derealization/depersonalization, and I really want to stay strong like you say but it's so difficult most days and especially with Christmas being in a couple days I feel no emotion toward it and I feel like it's not really happening when I know it is. Life is passing me by and I can't be along for the ride anymore, I had my chance and I blew it

[amdt]

I opened the search bar and and wrote "tell me it's okay" I didn't think 1% that I will find someone actually have posted abut this thank you

[owenh]

it’s pathetic hat i have to come to youtube for someone to tell me everything’s gonna be okay

[Chico]

Thank you Noah, this 3 minute video is the only mental comfort I've had in the past 3 months of my depersonalization. Everyone else has treated me like shit and brushed it off as nothing.

[threecheers]

I’m so scared every day. Feels like the spiral will never stop, I don’t even know who I am anymore. Thank you so so much for this video ❤️

[thestig]

Thank you, I'm really in a dark place right now. This gave me some hope.

[dand]

I needed this. I'm in my deepest pit right now...

[ImJusBuba]

Man.. I’m tired, I think this is what kept me going.. sitting here in tears realizing I gotta keep going.

It’ll get better, I’ve made it this far.. I’m halfway there.. halfway there..

Could use a huge hug right now, could use a lot right now.. some family, some direction, some guidance.

If you’re struggling just know I love you

[eazypeazy]

I failed at a competition, I feel useless, guilty for letting down everyone's hope, I feel ashamed of my self, I feel useless and stupid.
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.
.
.
.
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I want to cry, I need a hug...

[mallbratgirl_]

i just hurt and i’m so tired and it won’t stop

[kendolynow]

People really make me feel worthless and I'm tired of it. 😢

[hgjhdsgjgkjkhhh]

This man is still hearting comments after 5 years. Awesome
Thanks I really needed this video :)

[Chrimsonn]

Hi, it's 2020. This video was posted on 2015, 5 years ago. But I found it now. And I'm crying. This is so helpful. I love you, thank you so much 😭❤️✨

[intentionalliving]

We got this people. We got this! We are transforming right now by watching this video.

[thembalap]

Reading the comments just made me realize that some people are living my nightmare 😔
Be strong y'all

[ffrothy]

5 years struggling with depression but sometimes I just feel everything is so dark n can’t stop crying for no reason
I’m not ok

[peAkTalkies]

For those in a dark place :
Your body is a complex, cycling chemical reaction - a song - some of the chemistry is leveraged against your well being. Natural mechanisms will correct this if you give yourself time and care.

How healing happens :
I remember the last time i depersonalized many years ago. I got so incredibly sick of it, i just decided "i'm going to force myself to live. I'm gonna listen to my damn conscience. I don't care if my body doesn't like it"
I started controlling the things i could (which feels so wrong when you want to give up), feeding myself, reaching out to people, and valuing my body as the mechanized, limited, beautiful chemical reaction that it is. After some time doing this, new life emerged within me; it wasn't me, it was chemistry. Everyone's body and mind is beautiful chemistry, this chemistry just makes us feel horrible sometimes. Once you respect your body, listen to what is happening at the chemical/metabolic/spiritual level (whatever you want to call it), you'll know what to do; you'll know how the steps you have to take to get closer to equilibrium with yourself and your environment. That's where it starts though, you have to start caring about YOU.

For those on the other side of a dark place :
Any problem can be solved with the right balance of diligent work, curiosity, and creativity. Balance is the key.

I'm here watching this video because i just had a really terrible dream about my past. I needed to hear this. Now i feel better and like the dream had a purpose.

[poisonedpeanutbutter]

I looked up "everything will be ok" in hope for anything to help me sleep. Your video truly gave me the hope I was looking for: 7 months ago I had a terrible reaction to an antipsychotic medication and spiraled down to the worst depression of my life, pretty much like you mentioned in the description. I (as an adult) had to go back to my parents too, and developed extreme ocd with agoraphobia and insomnia. Full on panic attacks all the time and crying 24/7, and now, 7 months later, I'd say I've barely recovered. I no longer want to kms every second but I still don't feel fully functional. I've gained around 30 pounds when I used to be a marathon runner. Dropped my career, plans, friends, everything.

I'll take your word. I'll hold on and I'll come back to this comment on January 1st 2022. I hope to be a completely different person by then. A happy person ❤️