Chris Voss: FBI Hostage Negotiator | Lex Fridman Podcast #364

Chris Voss is a former FBI hostage and crisis negotiator and author of Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It. Please support this podcast by checking out our sponsors:

EPISODE LINKS:

PODCAST INFO:

OUTLINE:
0:00 - Introduction
0:59 - Negotiation
6:50 - Reason vs Emotion
21:45 - How to listen
30:35 - Negotiation with terrorists
32:43 - Brittney Griner
34:21 - Putin and Zelenskyy
41:41 - Donald Trump
48:52 - When to walk away
53:06 - Israel and Palestine
1:00:45 - Al-Qaeda
1:06:15 - Three voices of negotiation
1:14:40 - Strategic umbrage
1:17:46 - Mirroring
1:20:57 - Labeling
1:28:24 - Exhaustion
1:30:38 - The word "fair"
1:33:34 - Closing the deal
1:35:32 - Manipulation and lying
1:37:26 - Conversation vs Negotiation
1:48:45 - The 7-38-55 Rule
1:52:45 - Chatbots
2:02:07 - War
2:03:39 - Advice for young people

SOCIAL:

[lexfridman]

Here are the timestamps. Please check out our sponsors to support this podcast.
0:00 - Introduction & sponsor mentions:
0:59 - Negotiation
6:50 - Reason vs Emotion
21:45 - How to listen
30:35 - Negotiation with terrorists
32:43 - Brittney Griner
34:21 - Putin and Zelenskyy
41:41 - Donald Trump
48:52 - When to walk away
53:06 - Israel and Palestine
1:00:45 - Al-Qaeda
1:06:15 - Three voices of negotiation
1:14:40 - Strategic umbrage
1:17:46 - Mirroring
1:20:57 - Labeling
1:28:24 - Exhaustion
1:30:38 - The word "fair"
1:33:34 - Closing the deal
1:35:32 - Manipulation and lying
1:37:26 - Conversation vs Negotiation
1:48:45 - The 7-38-55 Rule
1:52:45 - Chatbots
2:02:07 - War
2:03:39 - Advice for young people

[SparkBerry]

Never Split The Difference is one of those books that changed how I approach my life and career, and it's been on the up ever since. Thank you Mr Voss.

[Bootlgr]

"You're funnier than i am, that bothers me." What a profoundly insightful and self-confident statement. This interview is fantastic!!!

[iangagel]

This whole conversation never stopped being interesting. One of my favorites already.

[Outside-InAquatics]

Almost three years ago I was stopped by a direct tv salesman in a mall. I was having a really hard day. I had just started life as a single father and didn't have my shit together. This guy stopped me and looked me dead in the eye and said, "if no one told you today, I just want to tell you, you are doing a great job." That guy probably knows that he changed my day that day. What he probably doesn't know is that because of what he said I have changed the days of so many people. What that guy said to me made me feel seen, and he had empathy for my situation. Which has stuck with me 3 years later. 1:41:33

[aliciapowell]

It's wild that he asks "why me, what am I doing here?" Within the first 15 mins I could tell this was going to be one of my favourite episodes. I always know the guests will be interesting but it never fails to amaze me how much deeper and even more interesting they get on this pod. Lex is the best at bringing out people's unique wisdom and perspective.

[CameronFarah]

One of my all-time favorite Lex interviews. I didn't expect it to be so compelling but the insights were extraordinary. Also the interaction between Lex and Chris was just fun to listen to and watch!

[elmorganou]

Mr Voss is like that silent uncle that knows everything and just smiles...both chill and tough...you know he knows you know . Big soul, big responsabity...🇫🇷 Merci Lex

[TheTarotDJ]

One of my favorite Lex quotes to this day -
"It's hard for me to trust a person who is not aware of their own demons."
Very wise words!

Chris - The completed negotiation of a lost soul on the other end of the phone line agreeing to make it through that long dark night is a beautiful act of kindness, empathy, and cosmic Agape love.
Spirit thanks you for your service to humanity and for sharing your wonderful insight with us all.
👁⭐️👁✌️🦄

[MonikaZairi]

I love Chris Voss! Tactical Empathy is such an essential understanding to have. Never Split the Difference is at the top of my book recommend list! 🔥🔥🔥

[lowcountry]

I keep repeating this, Lex .. you are so human and likable. Wonderful podcast.

[elcringedad]

This has to be the BEST Lex podcast to date. Chris Voss is legendary in my lore and this coming together of Lex and Chris was the event of the decade!!! 🎉

[johngrimble]

Unexpectedly, one of my favorite episodes.

[patrickpapadelis]

Your podcasts are great! They become amazing when the guest and the topic discussed hit real close to home. Life changing content with Lex! Happy to be a fan!

[notokek]

Mr Voss has taught me how to communicate and be a better listener, which improved (and keeps improving) my life and life of people around me
Thank you lex and Chris, have a good day

[priyaberry]

Getting to see Mr. Fridman laughing his heart out is the best thing about this conversation.

[mariaguzman]

Lex your voice is so soothing to my soul. The way you feel love towards people is the way I feel about them. I am aware of the evil of some people, but when I meet people I see the best in them. I talk to everyone who crosses my path. If someone is negative, I say, they are having a bad day, and I just move on. We never know what a person is going through. Loved your guest.

[brianmaluleka]

Lex is human who finds other people human no matter the difference. Super underrated quality

[ianmacrae]

Started with the Lex Clips, and then moved into the full podcast. What an interesting two hours. Such an unassuming but intensely interesting guest. And of course Lex does a masterful job hosting.

[JeremyEastmanNWA]

This is one of the best Chris Voss interviews out there. And I’ve heard a LOT of them!