Autism and Social Cues

It's not easy to talk about the friendships lost. But I am thankful for sometimes even old friends being willing to tell me from their perspective why the friendship ended. I can't change who I am, but hopefully I can learn to find friends who accept me as I am.

#autism
#austicwoman
#latediagnosis

[ScienceMom]

Sharing a relatable story is something I do and then I feel immediate discomfort because it dawns on me that I shouldn’t have shared at that moment but it’s almost as if I am unable to stop myself from sharing. I gotta figure out a way to stop doing that.

[tammykrauss]

I have learned what people are accusing me of is usually what they are guilty of themselves. Btw. Self diagnosis at 57. Lol

[RiseofTaitoShirei]

I am autistic and I would rather be alone than just try and get social cues. It's a lot easier.

[Sentientdreamer]

Diagnosed at 66.
I cant tell you howuch more sense my life and difficult relationships made to me after I understood about my Autism.
I had to learn, the hard way, that there are such things as silent no's.
This finally occurred to me in my late 40's to early 50's. The amount of work ive had to put into relationships has been mind boggling. If my past relationships understood how hard I'd worked on them they would be stunned.

[SparklingsPlayground]

Some passive-aggressive people *hate* it when you don't 'pick up' on their inappropriate hinting (in contexts where they ought to have spoken more clearly, and you actually gave them the opportunity to, and what they were hinting at was dodgy anyway which was probably the real reason they weren't explicit).

It tends to be part of a control pattern on their part, where they ignore/withhold/withdraw in order to get what they want, rather than communicating and jointly working things out. (Sometimes people on the spectrum can also do this, having been intimidated from a young age into indirectness. I think this is more likely to happen to women.)

Not saying you definitely didn't do anything wrong if indeed your ex-friend genuinely communicated stuff and you ignored it, but just on the basis of what you said, she could have a long-term commitment to this kind of game-playing.

[lunasdreaming]

It means so much to me that you were so brave to tell us your story. This has happened to me and still happens, IS happening. I am so lonely and so ballistic right now. But also I can't. I just can't on friendships; but I want them. Talking to people right now just feels like me struggling to pay attention, and silently telling myself to shut up with the "oh me too, but in this different way" stories. I'm still a bad friend. I can't keep up with anyone to transition back to talking to people again. It's embarassing in school and in the local small government stuff I want to do.

[wildcat]

I always share a relatable story when someone says theirs..and then felt a little bad after saying it.... I didn't know it was an autistic thing!..wow

[awawa]

Could you please make longer videos on this topic? I am currently on the waiting list for an official diagnosis after my therapist suggested a lot of what I thought was just anxiety was most likely ASD. As an undiagnosed adult in my late 20's I haven't had any support on the topic and I feel like I am struggling a lot with social cues. I originally thought I did understand them but now I'm realising I don't. I can't fake laugh or do small talk because I don't see the point in it, I speak very montone, I'm quite blunt because that's what I would prefer, any vagueness confuses and stresses me out, I don't know anything about body language, I can't express my emotions e.g. if I'm happy it doesn't look like I am. I also relate to both things you mentioned on this video.

[martiwilliams]

Thank you for helping us, Amanda! Not seeing social cues.!

[creative_carrie]

This is why I've naturally ended up with neurodivergent friends. We're all the same

[LilyTorteBakingCo]

Thank you for putting this out there! My daughter is on the autism spectrum so any info that can help me learn more is helpful! 💛

[katieholmstadt]

Thank you for sharing your experiences! They help me understand my loved ones better.

[lakeshagadson]

I would love it if they have a class that teaches people who have autism and similarities to cerebral palsy ocd

[markbennett]

What I leaned is that as a guy with it love and friendship is impossible and if I lose my job it’s over finding another. I prepare for the day I end up homeless and just die from the cold

[wendymccolm]

Fuck social cues- like be forth right - no one’s a mind reader nor from the same place as others - not sure why social cues are expected - was there a class on it in school????